PESH deli: the one where we get loads of lays

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 27th Feb
Medee, doesn't feel as "neat" as everyone makes out, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, thinking of displaying her enorma-bump at freak shows, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
Milanomum, showing it off, due Aug 6th
Owlbooty, can't stop belching, due 7th August
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August
BarbiesBeaver, Forever the Dildocam Slut, due Early October
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn

What subject are you planning on studying Polly?

Not at all, booty, we don't get tours either, which sucks. I am the sort of person who likes to picture where she is going (Google Street View is a godsend!)

that DOES sounds shit, bootycall they have cut our antenatal from 4 to 3 sessions, so its not that bad. I am still dithering about NCT.

Our hospital just has an online tour . Hopefully will be a home birth anyway but thought that last time and ended up in the hospital - although was a different hospital and had had a tour of that thinking "I'm not going to end up here, la la la".

Do NCT Rocket - is definitely worth it.

Rubbish you are on tenterhooks Gin but surely it should definitely be today? are they leting you eat and drink?

How exciting, Pol. I love my acupuncture woman. And you'll be able to have your own business and be own boss - fab.

Going "home" this weekend, t'up North. Going to meet friends IVF miracle baybee and get snuggly cuddles. Can't wait!

Yes, do the NCT.

Have just been directed to the next sale for maternity gear by the way. Have ordered a pair of black linen trousers and two tops for £30, feeling pretty pleased with myself.

Next stuff is pretty good - I like their leggings, and only £8.

Why do I keep missing everyone else's posts?

Boots that is a pile of poo! Is so annoying the way the standard of care is so variable. I am planning to move in with muse to lewisham.

wall stickers scorps they do more than one kind of the owl based ones too.

Have lovely new born cuddle gaga, I can't wait to meet mine, just wish I could fast forward the next five and a half months!

Marvelous news Cho!! Well done you.

And much love to you Gin as you await your little one today.

I'm off to my 22 week scan this evening, am massively excited but will be all alone this time - other half has selfishly buggered off to work in Barcelona.

Oooh, you are a bad girl Bitey. Have now just also spent 50 quid in Next sale! (Chinos, two tops and a dress). Trying to get things that will work now with layering and also in the heat of summer!

Yes, that is how I justified it too! I don't want to buy stuff for the baybee until the twenty week scan (don't know why, possibly superstition) but want to buy something to prove to self that this is really happening. I am also able to wear the same clothes for work as I do for home so feel justififed to buy a few things as I wil get the wear out of them. and that is my story and I am sticking to it

Poll I think that sounds like a fabulous plan. OK, so I'm sure there will be tough times during training, but once qualified its the kind of thing that should fit nicely around family life. Get you embracing the woo.

Pliz not to direct me to Next sale......I'm going shopping tomorrow. I'm a nightmare buying clothes, & going by the shambles earlier this week, its not going to get better. Being a larger lady pre-diff I always wanted to hide lumps & bumps. Now I have to get my thick head around the fact there is one bump that just cannot be disguised . I did buy some nice black work trousers from Next - I also found H&M had some nice stuff & quite reasonably priced too.

Rocket I was dithering about NCT classes too, but I think we've been firmly told that they're worth it. I have MW appointment Mon where she said she'd book me in for antenatal, so shall see what that has to offer too. Oh, & keep us posted about RL friend. What an exciting birthing day.

Wonder what Gin is up to now..........

Oooh, I'm practically vibrating with excitement today

Yeah me too. We are jeans type orgnisation. Only need smart clothes for visiting client expeditions. I have some maternity clothes form last time but I don't like them very much and I was more of a winter/spring differ last time.

I'm allowed to wear jeans to the office, but I never have. I find it easier to switch into work mode if I'm in smart clothes. Plus it gives me a good excuse to buy more for me

Today?s irrational moan: my boss has today, twice, rearranged meetings for which I am meeting organiser, without actually telling me. The only reason I know is because I overhead him telling the other attendees. As usual, everything is at the last minute. Now, I know I am only contract, my permanent replacement is now here and I?m just doing some project work till I finish, but still, it?s only common courtesy surely. If it weren?t for the cash, and wanting to finish the piece of work I am currently on, I?d quite happily be finishing today.

If your boss hasn't told you about the meeting medee then you are being entirely rational! In fact I think all you irrational moans have had sound basis in reason. (Says the woman who rang the bus company this morning to complain about nearly getting running over on a zebra crossing*) Actually if noone has told you directly about the meeting, why not feign total surprise about it? Or even better, prepare like mad, then feign total surprise so that you appear uber efficient?

Vibrating eh loz? Like, perhaps, a spinning washing machine?

*I had to leap

Rocketsocks I too am considering NCT as my main worry is that whilst I know rather more than I would ideally like about childbirth etc, Mr Boots is blissfully uninformed and should I be too off my tits on G&A to make decisions I need him to know what is going on.

Meds make him a cup of tea. Then accidentally gob in it.

MiniGin is going to be palindromic! I am irrationally happy about this.

Pols that course sounds fab - bugger about the travel though.

I have now eaten 6 iced buns without pausing for breath. I wonder if I will be sick?

GOOD LUCK, GIN! So excited for you. Shame it's not the birth you want, but it WILL be the baybee you want and that's all that matters in the end :) He'll be gert lush, as you say (just like his Mum). Bit of a headfuck about the cluster-elcs but at least you know today's the day. Will be thinking about you all day and sending you all my vibes and luff

PS TYF would be faffing just as bad. The man would dawdle if the bloody apocalypse was nigh.

Polly, you put the woo in woohoo! (pun-tastic!) I think... no, I know you'll be bloody brilliant. You're clever, sensitive, caring and fab and I think it's the ideal career choice for you. In a few years time, there's going to be a lot of lucky future BESHes winning their baybees with your help :)

Rocket, not selfish at all. Must be v exciting! Good luck to your pal :)

Bootylicious, that's rubbish. Me and TYF have a mental 8-hour Sunday booked with lots of other couples to have a tour and do 3 different workshops on birthing and all the related shiz at the end of April. Is right at the cusp of 36 weeks, so I could actually lay there and then, knowing my family history As my baby brain means I can barely work out the plot of adverts at the mo, I dunno how much info I'll retain!

Good luck with the scan, Twinks, shame Mr Toes can't be there. Are you finding out the flava?

Bitey, those stickers are bloody fab, cheers. Me want!

Medee - That's not only common courtesy, it's common bloody sense, if you're the organiser. Twat.

X-post - Bitey, I'd complain too!

Actually, have rather a funny tale to impart.

Remember last week I had that horrid time at the ante-natal clinic, complained and had conciliatory phone call from the trust?

Well last night I went to the cinema with my sonographer friend and was telling her all about it. The good news is that the blood splattered all over the toilet was one of her patients having an armageddon style nosebleed, so nothing like what I was worring about. The bad news is that the nose bleed was at ten am and I stood in the blood at lunchtime which brings me back to my intital about the hygiene.

Anyway, I was telling her about the woman who shouted at me about using the wrong toilet and described her. My friend laughed until she cried and said that conciliatory woman was the same person and a right cow! So I has spent a good ten minutes on the phone telling this woman about this rude and aggressive member of her staff and how she should consider patient care and liaison training for her and it was her! I wondered why she was les than quick to follow up on that suggestion!

Ah well, I feel much better knowing that I have managed to tell the horrible woman exactly what I thought of her!

Meds that's just bad manners. What a twunt. Like to suggestion of spitting in his tea.

Bitey Glad you're nimble enough to jump out of the way. Bloody bus drivers. Do like the follow up to your hospital woe though.

Booty you've made up my mind about NCT - AM GOING. Mr Loz is totally unaware of all things birth related, & is also a bit squeamish. We have had this discussion - I feel he should watch / read about a birth; he is more of a reactive guy & said he'd rather just deal with it on the day. I know he usually copes just fine with this strategy, but I'd feel happier if whilst off my tits on G&A he has his wits about him & knows what is normal & what's not. He can also be a bit short tempered, so if things are happening on the day that he's not prepared for he's liable to get a bit huffy & sweary. That I feel should be my job - I can't be dealing with Mr loz in a strop whilst sneezing out a baybee.

Of course I may lie a bit & just say NCT is about how to entertain a baby

Oh, that is delicious, Bitey When people are routinely cunty, others who have to work with them rarely put them in their place. Heh heh, you must feel good about that - just hope it makes her buck her ideas up!

at loz while watching OBEM the other week I told the FDH that his job as my birth partner would be to tell the effing midwife to give me an effing epidural the second I ask for it, and if anyone takes the patronising tone with me that the blonde midwife had he is to tell her to eff off out it and find me someone who will treat with respect. He has agreed to attend all ante-natal based things as long as he never has to watch another OBEM with me again! I think he is hankering after a general anaesthetic sort of birth where I can't swear at anyone, I am not going to spoil that for him just yet

In NCT My husband turned to me with a pale face and sweat on his brow and said 'I have to cut the cord??!!' (of course he didn't) I think he whimpered even. It definitely 'informs' them about stuff they just wouldn't think of. I was also amazed at the stuff they asked me to bring for the baby which I'd never have thought of. Worth doing.
I also 'made' him watch short birth vids on youtube just to show him what a woman in labour 'does' or sounds like. I think that traumatised helped a bit.

medee that's just shitty and disrespectful behaviour. Defo tea gob.

scorps that would be convenient wouldn't it? To lay while on tour of birthing facilities.

orchid glad scan went well even if you didn't find out the flavour.

Bitey you had to leap?!

Gin!!??

I am right stroppy cah at the moment! Odd cos I feel serene and happy!

Loz exactly! And surely it is Our Divine Right to get off our tits on G&A. At least, that is my birth plan and I intend to write it down exactly like that

Bites am v.glad you got to tell shitty evil woman just how shitty and evil she was. Bet she was curled up with horror on the other end of t'phone. I do hope so.