PESH deli: the one where we get loads of lays

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 27th Feb
Medee, doesn't feel as "neat" as everyone makes out, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, thinking of displaying her enorma-bump at freak shows, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
Milanomum, showing it off, due Aug 6th
Owlbooty, can't stop belching, due 7th August
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August
BarbiesBeaver, Forever the Dildocam Slut, due Early October
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn

Milano, TYF has asked me to put in my birth plan that he's not going to cut the cord. I feel the same too; I wouldn't want to cut it either. I also asked him not to look down the business end when things were getting interesting and he replied that he'd never had any intention of doing so in the first place!

His nerviness is giving us a NCT quandry; because he is so shy and gets anxious easily, I think NCT classes are a must so he knows what to expect and what will happen and all the various details, etc., etc. - and, of course, I want to go to find stuff out myself too - BUT because he is so shy, he is utterly terrified of going to a group full of strangers. This is a man who bricks himself at having to speak to his own relatives, so he would be utterly silent and unresponsive to any questions or attention directed at him and when he is anxious he blocks stuff out of his mind anyway so I dunno what to do about it (please no-one say he just has to HTFU/MTFU; he has Social Phobia, he's not just being a tit). I might be worrying too much about it - he has got a lot better since we've been together. Will have to reassure him lots in advance, no doubt and he does want to be involved, so that might be enough. PS Please no-one judge him; he is the loveliest man alive, just not exactly an Alpha Male (I never have to deal with most of the moans most women have about men).

bitey you are pure evil, I haz just spent far too much in the next sale but that is because i have doubled up on a couple of sizes, not being sure what I am now and will take some things back. How brilliant that you got to tell that woman what you thought of her (one in the eye!) I am loving your serene stroppyness :o

owlet glad I am not the only one that gets excited by numerical thinds, TB thinks I am weird.

lozzer/booty yes I think we have been told. :o I have bailed from the 8 sessions in 8 weeks and am going to sign up for the weekender about a month before I am due. This way I hope we will have retained some of it when the time comes and we might meet some people who are also about to drop. TB keeps surprising me with little tid bits of knowledge, he has obviously been surfing at work, yet his party line is 'i dont need to watch OBEM, I am going to go on instant when the time comes". He is really up for doing NTC tho, which I am surprised about as he generally doesn't like meeting people he doesn't know. It'll be interesting to see how much he actually knows. he is definitely NOT up for cord cutting either score I think it would be a bit icky so cant blame him. I think yo just have to be gentle with TYF, let him know its ok if he doesnt speak up but can just absorb it all. He might end up enjoying it more than you both think, generally with things like that its the anticipation that is worst. Once he gets there and the info starts flowing he may well surprise you.

My friend has had a bit of a show but the contractions have eased off to only every half hour or so. We had a nice brew and ate the butties her fella had made for the hospital :D I;ve now left her to try and get some kip and have told her to keep me posted. But anything could happen really. Ohh exciting!

meds thats so out of order. I think you will be VERY ready to finish when the time comes.

polly i knew a few people who used to commute to Reading, wil ask if they have any tips on places to stay and get back to you.

Oh Scorps when do we ever judge? .

Seriously, each to their own. From what you've written in previous posts TYF is obviously smitten with you & supportive in many ways. Its a fine line between us wanting the fellas to be informed so they can take on the Alpha Male role (whether they are comfortable or not) & forcing them into something that we know they wouldn't be happy with, & perhaps traumatising them.

Ideally I want Mr Loz to take charge in a calm, informed manner. IRL he's a stubborn, squeamish short-tempered sod, so I know this is unlikely. But I also know he loves me dearly & will do his upmost to look after me in whatever way he sees fit.

That said, I'm still going to try & bully gently persuade him to come along to NCT classes

Lo lovelies. Crap about the classes being cut Boots and very worrying for the future too. I think for women of BESHly age and feistiness who can access NCT and read books and shizz it's bad, but I think it's even worse for younger first time Mum's, rubbish and crap. I didn't get to go to mine - they ran over a 4 week period with a different topic covered every week. As smallboo's due date was 2nd Feb, my MW said to go to the classes in January. So I called the Surestart centre the first week in Jan to book in, only to be told that they'd cancelled them for January, sorry about that dear. Cheers then.

As it was I'd learnt shed loads from reading, preggo yoga did a great couples class, (we couldn't afford NCT as well as that - the preggo yoga I went to was pricey, but worth every penny), and 2 of my friends had babies 4 and 6 months before me so I asked questions and paid attention. But if I hadn't done any of that I wouldn't have had a fucking clue. It's crap, and it makes me very :( and .

Scorps I can't imagine Mr Boots speaking up in a class either, he also doesn't like meeting people he doesn't know. I am fully expecting him to sit there with jaw on the carpet looking horrified and there is no chance in hell of him cutting the cord as he will probably have fainted by that point, he's not good with blood. Having said that, I am pretty sure that if anyone is messing me about I can trust him to suddenly find his assertive streak :)

I didn't realise that boo that is very crap indeed. And you are right so much worse for young first time mums who havent got the support network you have. I feel so very lucky that I have access to the amount of free things up here (prego yoga,ante natal, vitamins, baby groups etc) but a bit shocked to find out this is total post code lottery. Same with my friend up here who gets 2 cracks at IVF, yet some only get one and some of the PCTs have cancelled all together. Its just so weird and wrong when we all live in the same country. :(

I know Gin has 1 or two other things on her mind at the moment, but I'm going stir crazy here for news. Pliz to tell me I'm not going insane alone?

It is rubbish. My mate (who was my unpaid 'doula') used to run groups for young Mums - from pregnancy to toddlers. She was brilliant with them - got them to think about loads of stuff they'd never considered, got some of them breastfeeding etc etc - she had occasional sessions where she'd have midwives and HVs popping in but she did most of it and was fabulous. Of course, they cut the funding for it and she lost that job last year.

Thanks, Rocket. I am glad TYF doesn't want to do the icky stuff; we are as one on that matter. I've already told him all that stuff about the classes but he is still v apprehensive. I know from experience that his anticipation is what makes him so scared and that once he is involved he will relax and take everything in and even enjoy himself and talk a bit but his fear about new situations and being around strangers stops him remembering this for himself. Still, he is getting more confident since I got pg as he is determined to push through his fears because he wants to be the best dad possible (he will be :) ).

Another quandry for me is where to book the classes. As we're hoping to move, I presume we should go to the area we're looking at. But if we're not living there by the time the classes start (or we decide not to move to that area), it's a lot of travelling and if we're not going to end up in that area, is kind of annoying to potentially make friends who won't live nearby. Sigh!

An ELCS takes 2 hours or so is that right? I had a c section - but it was the fastest the aneasthetist had ever seen (or so he told MrBoo - I was spark out at the time!). So if she's in a queue, and one is twins, I'm predicting 6pm. Anyone else care to foresee the future ( as I will be wrong, as my woo is crap :o)?

I have news!!!!

Have had a message from the Ginhag ! She is marvelous and so is miniGin - hooray!!!!! She got in quite quickly in the end and welcomed the little man into the world at 10.37am. Is one very happy lady!!!! She wants to fill you all in herself so I will keep info limited, but as they have just given her a birthday sized dose of morphine she thought it best for me to put your minds at rest.

All is well!!!

PS - am allowed a lot of exclamations marks today.

X-posting again!

Boo, that is rubbish about the classes. Sadly, I think under the Coalition lots more things are going to have their funding cut (presumably not NCT as people pay, but who knows). Not trying to stir up a political debate, but things seem to be heading that way.

Lozza, thanks for those lovely words about TYF. He is indeed Captain Besotted and always supportive and puts me first. I don't expect or even want him to suddenly take charge when I am in labour, as is not his style (and I'm a bossy cow anyway) - I just want to help him get to the stage where he won't be panicking constantly and shutting down and blanking out what's happening. BTW, from the sound of Mr Loz, I think you might actually be going out with me-as-a-man Wait, why are you crying... ?

Booty, is good to know someone else has a shy guy who doesn't take to these things well. My fears are this: I had a medical emergency t'other year and he panicked so much he couldn't ring a doc/ambulance for me, nor even call my parents to get them to do it for me (I had to badly text them myself in the end, despite being violently ill), so I do have a worry that if something v bad suddenly happened to me in labour and we were in a room alone (ie I fainted/collapsed or started to lose a lot of blood), he would be too scared to run or shout for help (we've discussed it and he admits he would find it incredibly difficult, even though he also say he hates himself for it ). Or that he won't be able to speak for me if I'm in a state where I need him to, or if he needs to make decisions for me if I'm out of it or there's an emergency. His natural reaction to anything scary is to shut down completely (he actually becomes slightly catatonic). We talk everything through and we keep discussing stuff about labour and what he might need to do, but it still scares him and it does make him feel a bit 'got at', but he needs a lot of preparation for new situations. I realise all this makes him seem crap, but he's only like this over shocks and big events, so ie hardly ever. Ironically, if I stress, he becomes v calm and reassuring, so I better pretend to be scared all the time (probably not too hard when the time comes!).

woo hoo for MiniGin! thanks for letting us know, Sitting!

In summary, I Can?t Be Arsed anymore.

booty I think NCT has been great for MrM. I feel I can tell him what I want and that he will advocate (what verb do I actually need here?) for that when required. I also felt quite proud when the fathers-to-be (for it is all straight couples in our class) reported back on a discussion they?d had and he did the speaking, and I could tell how much he is looking forward to it but also taking on all the responsibility of it. He doesn?t want to cut the cord either. I?ve also written down on my draft birth plan jottings that he isn?t to go in a huff when I snap at him (and I will.)

Excellent feedback from the hospital Bitey; though less so about the several hours of uncleaned blood. And I agree about the bus ? they won?t know unless things are reported.

YEY!!!!! for gin and miniGin please send our best love will you extreme? Thanks very much for checking in :o

Hmm wonder how morphine and champagne go together?

score sounds to me not like TYF is crap but just is strangely wired when it comes to the fight or flight impulse. He obviously just has a very strong reaction to stressful situations. It's not his fault and must be even more stressful when he knows that a big event like this is coming when he might be required to act. Do you think it would help if you had your mum or someone else there as a 'back up' who you could talk thru your birth plan with and would be there to support both of you. In the end might not be required. A doula would be ideal I suppose but I know the funds arent there for that.

Jesus Christ, how bad is my x-posting today?!

HUZZAH for Gin and gorgeous young Master MiniGin! Can't wait to hear more details when she's back on Planet Earth. Give her all my love and congrats, Streme and wish her all the best for a speedy recovery! XXXX XXXX

Yay! Congratulations to gin and welcome to the outside world mihniginhim

scorps I read something really helpful about social phobia in a self help guide from a CBT unit. It had techniqiues for getting through situations that can render suffers wordless. Will have a google and see if I can track it down. It was part of a reputable series that I was asked to buy for a mental health chairty in lieu of paying them for participating in one my research projects. Otherwise have you got any back up plans? Maybe a preworded text to your folks or a friend in your saved items that only requires hitting send?

Giiiiiiiiin! awww, you haz a baybee. I am so happy for you. Can't wait to hear all the details when the drucks wear off.

Scorps have you considered having two birth partners? Get your mum maybe to help out too? That way TYF doesn't have to do anything scary, he can just be there, pressure off.

On NCT classes, there is no grossness to get through, or at least there wasn't in mine. No pictures, no visuals, no role playing. And nobody was forced to say anything, so if you wanted to stay quiet you could. You get the course leader's contact details in advance so could always ring them for a quick chat before, just to prepare the ground.

Today I will be mostly posting links on mumsnet

Scorps Here is the website for those self help guides link

Whoop whoop! Hoorah for the arrival of MiniGinGinGin

Wooooooo hooooooo for the arrival of babyGin! Hope the drugs are doing the trick but also that you can get on with compos mentis snuggling soon

Good suggestion muser. I had mum and husband and they did wonderful jobs. I leaned on them in very different ways and they were there for eachother. Highly recommended.

Last night, after the birth centre told us they were happy for us to have as many useful birth partners as we liked, TBG came up with a suggestion.

"Muser, would you like MY mum to come down and be your birth partner?"

Now, my MIL is fab and a nurse and I bet would be brilliant. But dear lord, she is still my MIL. And imagine the conversation where I had to tell my own mum that my MIL was getting to see the birth?

Very pleased about the safe arrival of miniGin. How exciting! Souns like all went smoothly!

Thanks, Rocket and Bitey (and others). I feel guilty discussing him here, but it is a genuine worry. The CBT info would be great if you can find it, Bitey. The irony is that Social Phobia is the most easily-treatable anxiety disorder but the very nature of it stops sufferers seeking help!

We've discussed a Doula but just can't afford one. If things get too much for him, my Mum will join us but she has a phobia of blood! Have already agreed that if I need a cs and TYF feels overwhelmed then my Dad will come in with me. This sounds unorthodox, I know, but my Dad is pretty unorthodox himself! It will be my revenge for him getting me to cut his corns for him when I was little

I realised where TYF's probs/ishoos came from within 5 mins of meeting his folks for the first time. Their treatment of his shyness as a child (and indeed now) reads like manual entitled 'How to fuck up your shy child for life and make his problems 100000 times worse'.

I don't blame him or am angry with him nor nuffink. I totally understand why he feels the way he does and respect that. I am quite naturally anxious myself (not that any of you would notice, ahem), so I get it. In fact, that's probably making me worry about it all more than I need to, ha! By talking without any judgement, blame or expectation, together we're getting him to a place where he feels it's copable-with. I do strongly feel that whilst during labour we're doing the hard work, suffering the pain and taking the potential risks, men's fears and worries shouldn't be overlooked - I'd hate to see my partner in pain, esp. in a way I just couldn't comprehend and not be able to help them.

Mr M sounds a star, Medee, gush away :) (oo-er, etc.) I will tell TYF how much NCT classes have helped other people's husbands/partners, as this will reassure and inspire him. I might leave out the bit about fathers-to-be having discussions and doing presentations, however!