PESH deli: the one where we get loads of lays

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 27th Feb
Medee, doesn't feel as "neat" as everyone makes out, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, thinking of displaying her enorma-bump at freak shows, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
Milanomum, showing it off, due Aug 6th
Owlbooty, can't stop belching, due 7th August
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August
BarbiesBeaver, Forever the Dildocam Slut, due Early October
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn

Mmmmm maltesers [homer emoticon]

I recently discovered thortons choc caramel shortbread. Little squares you can easily shove in your gob without a small child seeing. And extremely lush.

Well, everything went v quiet squeezy-wise. getting some tightenings again, but it'll have to get a shufty on if I am going to do this labour thing. Whatevaaaaaaah.

My mum is here now which is lovely, especially as mr gin has had an Official Total and Complete Nightmare Scenario develop at work this week which means he won't be able to take time off for paternity leave. AIBU to have a secret sob about this? (not my mum being here, that is fab)

Gin. Of COURSE YANBU. I'd be gutted. I know tis the perils of running your own business and obv Mr Gin would rather be with you, but is very sad. Here, have a cuddle, seeing as how you are all delicate.

Meds The problem with the birth stuff is that although the risks are still low and intervention may not after all be necessary, the consequences are unbearable. It's weighing up the difference between an elcs, which is a bit of a PITA to recover from and the chance of a serious birth injury, which would be utterly life-changing.

I'd be having a full on public sob gin. What awful timing, poor you and Mr Gin, I bet he's just as upset.

that really does suck, and no need to be secretive about it, Gin.

This whole giving birth business is so complex, Drom - you're quite right, the only important thing is a healthy baby at the end of the day.

and on the subject of maltesers, have you tried the bunny-shaped Malteasters - lush!

Could he maybe take it later down the line as someone suggested for Mr Scorps, or do chaps have to take the actual paternity leave bit immediately?

Wailing is utterly justified.

Bites have you tried meditating with a slice of cake in your gob? I feel this has potential.

I went to Tescos and appear to have bought: mini Thorntons chocolate brownies, mini Thorntons caramel shortcakes (gin, that is your fault), 2 packets of oreos, 2 malteser bunnies and 2 Lindt eggs.

I think I might be pregnant...

Come on MiniGin! Gerra move on! I think he/she is defo holding out for a funky palindrome birthday. However it happens, get that Shampaggun (as Zap Brannigan would say) on ice Is really pants that Mr Gin can't get time off - it's fab your mum's there, but it's not the same, is it, you poor thing

Streeeeeeeme! You better not go without getting hot 'n' heavy with me in the store cupboard Hope you and your double trouble are doing well.

Thanks AGAIN my lovelies. am so glad to have you lot out there.

booty yeah he can take it later. I'd like to see any fucker stop him, it's our company. However there is The Biggest Deadline looming, it is INCREDIBLY important and cannot be postponed, or fucked up... (Drom you know what is from aaaages ago when it looked possible) And a key, absolute KEY worker on the project has just handed his notice in

So it's not just a case of 'oh he may not get 2 full weeks' or whatever but more 'he may actually be working 24-7 and utterly stressed out while we battle with the no-sleep etc that comes with having a newborn'

Which is a tad crap

Ps muse I challenge you to stop before at least 6 have disappeared

Good shopping there Muse

Today I went to Julian Graves and bought a 40-pack of raspberry leaf tea, bag of foam bananas, bag of flying saucers & two bags of cinder toffee (one covered in chocolate and one not) [porker emoticon]

You are right on the Pat Leave Booty - so long as it's taken within 56 days of the birth it's OK. Would MrGin have sorted his work ishoos out by them Gin?

Owlbooty from Direct Gov:

You can choose when to start getting your Ordinary Statutory Paternity Pay. Leave can start on any day of the week:
? on or following the child's birth, but must be completed within eight weeks of the actual date of birth (or eight weeks after the expected date of birth if the baby is born early)
? from the date of the child's placement, but must be completed within eight weeks of the date of placement
You can take either one week or two consecutive weeks, but not odd days.
If you have more than one job, you may be able to get Ordinary Statutory Paternity Pay from each employer.
Your employer can't pay you Ordinary Statutory Paternity Pay for any week you're at work.

So MrGin could take it up to 8 weeks from Gin?s due date.

Scorps the sniffer did at least apologise regularly for the sniffing, but if I had had a box of tissues on my desk, I may well have thrust one at him. How my colleague who he was working with stomached it I don?t know.

btw, do those wall stickers really peel off again, without taking underlying paintwork away with them?

Oh - cross posts Gin

Utterly crappola.....sob your heart out my dear.

Oh and I haven't forgotten the counting my blessings thing. I know I'm still lucky to have this and I feel like all I ever do is moan, but things have been a bit tough of late.

meds thank fuck we have some control then...the deadline is...you guessed it, practically spot on 8 weeks after my due date!

Tho it would be a bastard company that refused the time off at all ever under the circumstances...

Wail away gin you poor love. Hopefully he can take it a little later, not the same I know.

medee you temptress! I shall test the bunny out later.

Owlie I think that sounds a fablass (as we say in wales) idea! I love cake, maybe a lemon drizzle one...

Wow, mega cross post! scorps will post you link from home PC as it is in my faves.

salade are you public about your pregnancy on FB? I nearly posted something about your crayfish sandwich but stopped myself.

Gin, things have been v tough for you of late, do not apologise for needing a rightful vent now and then. You have blessings, but you also have probs too. Didn't realise how nightmarish things will be for you both at this time with the work craziness. However, as soon as he can take the break, his PL will be extra-special.

Medee, you could go to offer him a tissue but pretend to 'accidentally' trip up and punch him in the face... ?

A funny thing happened to me earlier: I was on a busy street and a bloke in a swanky suit barged into me muttering 'get out of my way, you fat cow'. I said, 'I'm pregnant, you idiot', to which he muttered, 'nah, you're just fat'. Then a really rough-looking young bloke stood nearby said, 'Mate, if you can't tell she's pregnant you need your fookin' eyes tested'. Suit bloke muttered again about fat crap and rough bloke retorted 'don't be a twat - if someone calls you out on being rude, don't make it worse for yourself by bullshitting, yeah?'. Suit bloke sullenly mumbled an apology and rushed off. I thanked rough bloke who said it was 'no biggie' and then uttered the immortal line 'Some cunts are so rude, innit?'. He then said his 'woman' was pregnant too and chatted with me a bit about my pg and how excited he was about becoming a father. It was very sweet. I mean, I didn't need anyone to stick up for me, but it shows you can't judge a book by its cover an' all that.

Cheers, Bitey :)

Some cunts are so rude. I love it!

Right, I am off to the birth centre to see if they'll let me have my baybee there when Bob decides to arrive. Fingers crossed.

It's a classic, innit, Muse! Fingers crossed for you and Bob at the birth centre :)

Bless. He will have one of those sweary toddlers that I secretly laugh about whilst worrying I too will teach my offspring the words fuck and bugger before they are old enough to walk. Good for him for telling off the rude man though.

Good luck Muse - can you bribe them with malteser bunnies?