Hi all sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Hannah and I are doing well. She was 0.5oz off her birth weight on day 10 after losing 7.75% on day 5. I was so happy! Now day 15 and I feel feeding is going well and doesn't hurt too much. I'm determined to go to breastfeeding support groups so hopefully I should get help to perfect the latch (it's so hard in the split second you have to get it right!) and she will continue to gain weight.
I am now ready to share my birth story. Giving birth for me was the single hardest thing I have ever done and it left me shell shocked afterward. If I am tired or emotional it can still make me cry. I have no idea why as it could have gone a lot worse and Hannah came out perfectly.
As you know my waters broke on Monday 28th at 10am ish. No signs. Was sending a couple of emails, about to go into town when I went to put some make up (for the last time in over 2 weeks!). Suddenly I felt a small amount of warm liquid in my knickers, a bit like I'd wet myself although I knew I hadn't. I popped a pad in and I continued to get small gushes. I took myself to the delivery suite after phoning them and they monitored me and confirmed it was my waters. I was given 24 hours to start contracting or I would be induced. I came home, no idea what to do with myself except wait!
At half 2 I felt my first contraction. Wasn't too bad but not too pleasant either. I found I had to walk around to deal with the pain. Baths & paracetamol were not for me. By 8pm they were every 5 minutes and I phoned delivery suite. I was allowed to go in for them to check me. However when I got their my contractions slowed and I was sent home without even taking my trousers off.
So began the longest night of my life. Inconsistent contractions varying from 5 mins apart to 15 minutes. No sleep as I had to keep moving and several teary conversations with delivery suite when I was told take baths and paracetamol. Although this was slightly annoying they were reassuring me that I could do it. By 8am I decided to go in as I'd had enough. At 10am I was examined & was told I was 4-5 cm. They broke my hind/fore waters (one lot hadn't gone) to try to speed me up. By the way I was still leaking waters 24 hours later & had already used 2 maternity pad packs - if your waters go first you need to stock up!
At 11 am my contractions hadn't sped up. By now they were very painful - they weren't much stronger - but I was tired and I had been strapped to the monitor so I couldn't move around. I tried gas and air but it made me feel dizzy and I could still feel the pain. If anything it made things worse. They advised me that I would need the syntocinon drip and asked if I wanted an epidural. I could have kissed them. I did want the epidural so badly. The anaesthetist was there very quickly and I found that putting it in was painless. Putting the syntocinon and fluid drip in my hand hurt more but as I said at the time it was a pain I knew (unlike contractions) so it was ok. By 12pm all was in place and as the epidural kicked in. It was one of those where you could walk around and move your legs but as I was on the monitor I had to stay in bed. The next 5 hours were weird. I felt the tightenings and a hard pressure on my bum but no pain. Some of the contractions were double the strength of the ones I'd felt beforehand but I could cope. I was drinking cups of tea and chatting to DP and my mum who came after work at 2pm.
At 4 pm they checked me again and found me fully dilated but I was told to wait until 5 to push. I can't actually remember why but I'm sure there was a reason. At 5pm I suddenly had the urge to push. The epidural was wearing off and suddenly we were going. Pushing was very hard & painful. Especially on my back. Before I could turn over however Hannah's heart rate stopped coming back up after contractions and loads of people rushed into the room. My legs were put in stirrups and I heard the doctor say we need to do a cut and if this baby doesn't come soon we will need forceps. Thankfully a couple of massive contractions and pushes later, Hannah was born at 20 to 6. She was placed on me. Then the doctor started to stitch me up. And my god that hurt. The doctor was asking me to stay still but I couldn't (another thing is that labour make me shake involuntarily - apparently that's common) The doctor said I had to stay still or I would be taken to theatre. They decided to top my epidural up and I used to gas and air to distract myself as I could still feel them stitching me. I lost 1 litre of blood, had an episiotomy & 2nd degree tears. A catheter was inserted and a "pack" (I think this was something absorb the blood from the smaller tears. All this was not what I wanted from my birth. As Hannah breastfed and had skin to skin I still felt awful - the pain didn't just go because my baby was here.
After the blood loss I stayed in 3 days to regain strength, get sleep and confidence. I am now on iron tablets and feel stronger each day. The health visitor advised pregnacare post natal tablets which I would also recommend. Expensive but you know you are getting what you need at a busy time when you need to recover. The stitches don't hurt - I felt swollen for the first 2 days but now they feel fine. Sex might be a long way off but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.
I found the midwives brilliant by the way, particularly in delivery and the community mw's afterwards. They were kind, caring and kept telling me I did really well. In hospital know I was strapped to a monitor and on my back but I felt that things couldn't have been done much differently. Just the doctor I didn't like but I realise now she didn't want me to keep losing blood. At home they have helped with feeding and been there for extra visits and reassurance.
Finally Hannah is amazing and changing each day. She now looks at me with her gorgeous eyes and knows I'm her mum. I don't have much time to post these days but will keep up with you all - I like new posts to entertain me during the night feeds!