The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Thanks again to all - just so glad the consultant could see straight away how bad it is and can do summat for me. Since Xmas, I've been having short-term memory loss, auditory and visual weirdnesses (sparkles in front of eyes, tinkly music, etc.), and the pain has been so acute that I've felt high (not in a groovy way). Even as I type, I feel like I've taken some dodgy drug and am having to edit loads of typos before posting. And I've gone thick - t'other day, I filled out a form where I had to write my DOB and age - I couldn't remember my age and couldn't work it out from my DOB, FFS.

I realise I often sound like a moaner but I actually massively play down how crap things have been. S'why when I had my whine on Friday, I didn't just mean I was lounging about like Lady Muck with 'a bit' of a headache!

Bloody hell, I might be able to get in the bath/shower unaided, go for a walk or even - shock - horror - see a film or chat in person with people (voices too loud for me most days). Typing the odd bit of bollocks on the interwebs now and then has been all I've been fit for. Onwards and upwards!

Hi, just nipping on as need to go and do bath time. However just wanted to say fab news from everyone

Scorps pleased they can help you. Sounds awful but at least you have some help with it all now. You'll be just down the road from us, which means I can give you this book in person that I have had sat on my bedside table for weeks now!

BTW I gave birth on our bed in the EXACT position I said I wouldn't (i.e sitting up leaning against pillows and no gravity etc). I found it was the most comfortable after having slated that whole thing beforehand. So, never say never guys! I tried all fours but felt really vulnerable so went to what I felt worked, which was that!

I think that's the key orcs have a plan A, a plan B and then be prepared to rip them both up and go with what feels right. Did you have a hb with mini O then?

(Excellent, my plan to stalk Orchid and take over her life continues apace...) Cheers, gorgeous :) Your birf experience shows that it really is all about what works for each individual woman.

Yes, I'm spying again.

scorps I'm so glad you are getting the right help. Sounds like you've got a good doc there. Did you meet your own actual consultant? Just cos I never met mine

orchid I had the exact same experience. I was all determined to be active and upright, and I found myself unable to stay on all fours or otherwise. The force of gravity doing it's job was just too strong and I kept finding my pelvis dropping to the nearest surface. I ended up comfiest (that's putting it lightly - at the time I would have said I found it impossible to be any other way) on my side on the bed, but baby's heartbeat didn't like that. so we had a little battle of wills . Now I REALLY want a water birth next time, so it can hold me up.

bitey congrats on a fab scan.

I'm still lurking for nursery ideas, seeing as we're only doing things with ours now she has moved in. And we're having to be creative given the fact the house is rented so we can't paint etc.

Good news on the drucks Score - great you've finally got some proper medical advice but what a pain in the arse that the eejit didn't sign the blimmin' prescription so you have to wait another day. How frustrating.

Brilliant scan news Biteme....you will surely have laid-back baby who sleeps through from day 1 [nods]. Good luck for tomorrow Milano.

I had pethidine once - they told me it would help me sleep...hahahahahahahahaha what a joke. They won't give it to you if you're too well progressed due to impact on baby - ideally it should have worn off before the time comes to push. Even then it can make babies woozy for the first day or so which also means feeding's a bit tricky to start with too.

Doesn't seem to be any way of guaranteeing a waterbirth but you best bet has surely got to be a homebirth, no????

Have met 2 different consultants so far, Caspy. Neither of them are the guy named on my notes as official one! So long as they keep up the good work, I ain't bovvered, innit. The Lad feels so blimmin' heavy already that I can foresee me flat on my back too (unless I get my water birf, pliz Dawkins). Also for when I give birth, haha, oo-er missus, fnarr fnarr, etc.

Can you do wall stickers in your rented place? Some will allow, some won't. Or nice pics/posters using white tack (not blue). We have a nice cheap and cheerful rug from IKEA in our sitting room, as we thought it'd be nice for a kid (even though we'd not even started TTC when we got it, soppy buggers that we are). This one - is v hard-wearing and easy to clean/vacuum.

Who's up for a OBEM date at 9, then?

Oh yes, I should have said if I decide actually being on my back is the best position then I'll go with that. I just don't want to be forced to do it one way, when that might not be what feels right. I have read quite a few things about women finding it easiest on their backs, despite thinking they'd be squatting or whatever.

I put some stickers up yesterday scorps. And thanks to the inspiration provided by rocket, and me feeling a lot more like my normal self, I have been coming up with arty ideas to inject more colour and interest. Whether I actually get round to it is another matter. I plan to paint some canvases, and to create a sort of child friendly sculpture thing - which looks magnificent in my mind's eye. And will remain magnificent if it stays there. That is a v funky rug. There's a definite bright orange and green theme developing in Squeaker's room

I will be around at 9. Sprog has finally gone to sleep (I'm sure someone slipped her speed today) and SFF is working. It's very different watching OBEM from "the other side". I was about as diffed as you are, scorps when the last series was on.

On the Pethidine thing, there's plenty of info out there for everyone to make up their own minds. Personally, I heard far too many first-hand bad experiences. It's supposed to make you sleep rather than kill the pain. So maybe good for a long labour and you need a rest. But when it gets really more painful (second stage) a) the last thing I would have wanted to do was sleep. I just wanted her out pronto and b) that's when there's a chance of it going through to baby.

I started my pregnancy with the "I'll take any drug going" view. Then I went in with a birth plan that said I aimed to use breathing/relaxation/water/G&A. I would consider epidural if necessary. I would not have pethidine or diamorphine (P as above and D because Morphine produced some spectacular barfing last time I had it). At 4cm I was still refusing co-codamol. at 6cm I gave G&A a toke and found it hilarious so stuck with it. By the end I was looking at the G&A mouthpiece as if it was broken (had just stopped helping - nonetheless I was furious when they took it off me for pushing) and had asked for an epidural several times but the anaesthetist was busy with a section etc.

So, yes, have a plan a, b, c.... and the one that you make on the day, there and then. There's no prizes for how you do it, just the big prize you get whatever way. Mind you, if you are really lucky, like me, you might have a caramel-voiced, swoon-some African doctor visit you mid labour and stare up your foof while you attempt to flirt with him on a G&A high, sweat dripping from your scraped back hair, with your mother also vying for his attention while your husband looks on in hilarity/horror.

Sorry, I'm going on again. I've got only Eastenders for company right now.

Bitey that's lovely scan news, you've painted a lovely picture.

I've mitched off yoga . I got warm & comfy & it started to rain...... so I had a bath, jim jams on, tissues at the ready & will be watching OBEM. Mr Loz can't / won't watch it - I'm actually quite glad, think I'd like to come to terms with all that bit on my own first.

don't worry loz. I missed my first differ yoga session because I was in a pub with iggypiggy.

Gasper, I'm firmly of the belief that they deliberately choose knicker-droppingly gorgeous Nubian Gods to be laydee-bits Doctors so we try to be all cool and calm and do whatever the hunks ask of us. When I had my lap, I saw two of the finest specimens you could imagine. When the first one came to tell me it was good news, I was giggling coquettishly like a Regency innocent being asked to dance by Mr Darcy... despite my alluring GA-aftermath retching and shaking I think I may have looked round for my fan to hide behind at some stage!

LOVE your old priorities re: differ-yoga. Proper BESH!

Am watching the Panorama thingy on useless, absent Dads. Gawd, we don't know how lucky we are!

Lozzer - SNAP! Have just got into my nightie for some prime OBEM action. TYF saw @ 2 mins of it last week and, with a white face, begged me that when the time came, I wouldn't a) want him to look at the business end and b) ask him to cut the cord. Luckily, I don't want him to do either either (can you say that?!), so we're sorted. Blissful denial and squeamishness all the way! This is a man who does a cat's bum mouth if I trump - he's in for a baptism of fire

TBG has other things on on Monday evenings, so I am watching by myself.

Oh this lady looks calm. And standing up! Hooray.

I'm a few mins behind after being on phone. Will catch up at first ad break, I am sure.

That first baybee is gonna be a looker, that's fo sho! And this second couple are SO excited about it and clearly so good together, awwwww.

Much nicer couples than last week, tho I did warm to Ralph by the end.

I hope your menfolk are fully prepare for being simultaneously told to "hold me"/"get the fuck off" or "rub there"/"no don't rub there, that bastard-well hurts, you twat!"

I wouldn't be pregnant if that sort of thing put TYF off, Casp

Curlywurly. Reckon it might be a good idea to start practicing abusing our other-halves, along with breathing techniques etc. Do they teach being-a-complete-bitch-during-labour at NCT classes?

Much less screaming this week! Phew! Not so keen on the younger man's comments on contraception when so many people are trying so hard but everyone else much nicer this week. Ooh big fat gypsy wedding is on tomorrow- wicked!

God, pool woman looks amazing.

Believe me foxy, it comes very naturally. And they don't get to complain about it! It was quite funny because I used my man for yelling at and my mum for hugging. There was no way I could direct the fury at the person who had endured the same thing to bring me into the world.

(Are you a fellow Scot?)

Pool woman is clearly faking it. Looks like she's on holiday.

Do I need to get a bikini/tankini top if I want to use a birth pool? I have no idea what to wear for the whole giving birth thing. It feels like being naked would make more sense.