The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Three and ten drom, she's a lovely mummy but must've forgotten what having a tiny baby is like. I think she has lost her partner in crime with me getting diffed but hopefully she will come round as she gets used to it. Feel like I have done an AIBU by stealth now!

In entirely unrelated news my mum is on a flight to Melbourne and guess who her cabin mate is?

stephenfry!

My father is cockahoop, if a bit gutted that he is still in the house!

Poor Bitey. Your friend's comments speak volumes about her, not you. Maybe she is jealous of you being pg, even though she has DC of her own, maybe (and this is what I think it sounds like) she feels guilty about being a bit thoughtless with the rearrangements and is lashing out at you by being smug, or maybe she was having an off-day and was just being a cow out of character.

Whenever we go through big things, we all tend to look back through rose-tinted glasses. I think women who genuinely felt amazing and joyous all the time, with no worries or negative feelings when pg are in a definite minority. I sometimes feel isolated, vulnerable, scared, then a big beatific earth mother, then a hormonal caaah then back again... often within the space of 10 mins! No one experience is the 'best' one, the 'right' one or the 'proper' one.

I want my baby more than anything and am constantly blown away by how much I fiercely love him already (have done since the BFP!) but that doesn't stop me feeling down at times. Is far better to be open about feelings than pretend everything's okay :)

Anyway, I think you're bloody fab, she can go bollocks. I like Cho's advice about taking the reigns, v clever.

House viewing went a bit Pete Tong, but we mooched round the area, taking it all in and agreed it's defo where we want to live (if only so I can stalk Orchid, who lives there already, buahaha! ). We're looking to rent not buy, BTW.

Anyway, all was not lost this avo, as we have actually managed that thing... wassit called.. y'know, when he puts his... oh yes, Teh Secks! As good as ever, although I was so over-sensitive in the most important area that I couldn't actually 'complete', as it was too intense. Bollocks. The Lad clearly has my sick sense of humour as he chose to kick just as TYF enjoyed his moment of glory, ahem. Now that was weird!

Aaaah, happy days. As I said to him afterwards, 'this time next year?'

Drom, sounds hectic But loving parents (and a stack of nappies!) are what counts most for the arrival I'm such a hypocrite - I'll be shouting 'but I can't give birth now - I haven't bought one of those nasal clearing wotsits in case baby gets a cold' when the time comes (where is my Control Freak emoticon?).

Bitey sounds like UABVR to me. You ar now sticking up for your friend after she upset you and trying to understand her motivation when she is completely failing to extend the same courtesy to you. Think you are right she HAS forgotten and also isn't thinking about the fact that this is completely new to you and god forbid! You might have a different parenting style to her. I hope things settle down. If not and you are that close then a few careful words about how she has made you feel might be in order. I am sure she isn't meaning to be pushy but yeah first new year with a five month old baby? I'd say tuck e in at home either alone or with a bery few close mates would be most peoples choice. At the end of the day she can arrange all that and you can join in at last mo if you are feeling up for it.

I am jealous of your mum!!! Best cabin mate I ever had was John Craven (I was v v excited!!!)

BTW, I get around all socialising problems by being a teetotal hermit. But then again, I am a self-defeating twat, so...

I am so full. TBG made the best roast dinner. Roast pork was absolutely perfect. Roast potatoes, yorkshires (there must always be yorkshires, whatever the meat), homemade gravy, broccoli and sugar snap peas. I may go pop.

And there's still hot chocolate souffles to go. I may have to give birth right now just to make room.

Those nasal cleaning things seem quite good - I'm just not sure how you get the snotterings out of the bulb bit at the end once you've performed the evacuation. Answers on a postcard.

Bitey tis a right bunch of arse. You can't plan New Year. It's only fecking January. I couldn't even plan New Year right now if I wasn't diffed. Your mate is having a laugh. However, if she is a good mate then a quiet word should not result in a major flounce and might therefore be worth a bash.

I did socialising today. I am now bloody knackered. It seems that standing up is now a lot more tiring than before and I keep wanting to sit down. This does not bode well. Also I have first pilates class tomorrow evening, must try not to fall asleep during relaxation bit. Snoring not ladylike.

Scorps splendid choice of phrase "enjoyed his moment of glory" - I am imagining trumpet fanfare

I am also a beached whale of man-cooked meal satisfaction - TYF has just made his first ever curry from scratch and it was bloody amazing. No pud for me but he did eat half a giant bar of Galaxy after (he is 6ft 2 and 11 stone - how is his gannetry even fair?!).

Am now imagining Muser as Aunt Bessie, with her 'yorkshires with every meat' recklessness

Booty, The Lad's (dis?)approval was freaky enough, without a brass section in the bedroom

excellent cheffing all round - MrM made us Jamie O's Chicken Satay, bloody lovely it was too.

After his exertions TYF earned that Galaxy.....who had t'other half Score???

The bulb bit opens up to enable removal of contents Boots - I always (literally) stuck it in the dishwasher for a proper clean. Larger bogies are too big to go into the snotsucker but is a useful tool to bring them to the front of the nostril and pinch out with a tissue IYSWIM. Hope that helps

Kate, he ate the first half last night. He is half-man, half-sugar mound.

Man-up girls.....snot is the least of your worries when those there babies arrive!!!

Or woman up - as it's me who has to deal with that kind of thing most of the time and not the 'Alpha-male' :o

I'm odd - I'm not squeamish about shit, piss or vom but bogies.... GAGGGGGG! Still, seeing as I have hereditary rhinitis (ie year round hayfever), I probably really DO need to woman-up about snot, if The Lad will be anything like me and my bro!

TYF is v prissy about bodily functions (thanks for that, insanely uptight MIL), so will probably fall to me to deal with the more unsavoury things.

Saliva is my personal bugbear - and smallboo has a habit of licking my face of late. Yack.

I am all good with any kindof fluids. Just not sure how I'll cope with belly button fluff

LOL at you all and the bogie-phobia! Just wait for the runny poo... just wait.

Drom Clucky and muse it's all getting quite exciting! Hoping 'oddness' means there's not long to wait. If it's any help, I remember that I didn't really 'think' about what was going on during labour I was concentrating so hard.

Bitey what cho said! Sounds like your friend really has forgotten what it's like to have a little baby (I have too and DD is only 2!) but she shouldn't be so demanding and she certainly shouldn't be so dismissive of your plans or feelings. Yes you need to harden up a bit but she also needs to be more sensitive. I'm sure you'll sort it out though.

Mountthefairygodfather Congratulations! Our paths crossed in the Palais - excellent news! welcome to the pregnancy menkul.

I am sleeping like a log at the moment and when not sleeping am very tired. Anyone seen my 2nd trimester energy?

...or that first meconium poo eh Milano.

You know you're a parent when all chit-chat with your partner revolves around poo

Hoping the same thing re. the oddness but suspect it's because I'm just waiting for things to happen and the oddness is just normal preggo stuff.

There's a bit of excitement in the palais!

Milano I have no energy either. Second trimester my arse.

Poo and vom is fine; snot however is hideous.

And yes, the whole Palais is v.excited indeed

Just been in to see! Yay!

Thank you again for helpful advice, glad I did my flouncing in here rather than real life! Much, much calmer today .

On bodily fluids can cope with anything except phlegm and eye emissions. Maybe will strat aversion therapy now as part of antenatal training!

My mum wasn't travelling first class BTW, I am a little dissapointed in Stephen Fry's travelling style!

Oh god, don't even mention eye bogies

Huzzah for new BESH diffment! Although, of course, with these recent wins, it does mean it's time for a couple of baby-lays...

I had fish fingers for breakfast. Don't you dare judge me!!!

Gash, just lost my post...abridged version = nine months diffed today and no baybee in sight, gaaah!

Please tuck into this pineapple vindaloo cho I made it specially.

Vey excited for Barbie. Come along, Cho - you're just stalling now. Where is that baybee?

Just got back from Consultant appt at the hospital. All good, listened to the heartbeat and found it straight away so I think my machine is defective (nothing to do with user error, oh no). First of all tehy were like no, you don't need additional scans despite me saying I had to have them last time. Then I mentioned a detail which I thought they already knew (due to having ALL my medical records) and all of a sudden. "Oh well that changes things. We'll definitely give you additional scans". Gah! How many women fall through the gaps because they don't know detailed medical terminology about their conditions! Anyway, good I get to see the baybee more.

Score you've made me want fish fingers. and I don't even like fish . Am very hungry though.

I think I may finally (at 15 weeks) be regaining a modicum of energy. I stayed awake through a whole film in the cinema and managed to stay up until 11pm last night! Hopefully this is a turning point.

Went to John Lewis yesterday and test drove buggies. I may completely irrationally purchase a new buggy. But am thinking of an ICandy Peach and they hold second hand value really well. So if I got a second hand one and resold on Ebay afterwards then it's almost like a free buggy, no? I'm being a knob, aren't I? Have a perfectly good travel system in the loft.