The great PESH dispenser

[Muser]

Here we go again:

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5?
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7

UPDIFFED

ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.

Drom I'm very impressed with that system at the birthing centre, if a little that there's a need for it. I just can't begin to imagine going through all this without the 100% support of Mr Loz.

Good news for the birthing centre though & for "normal" sized baybee. All looking good.

At the moment I can't imagine not working / working reduced hours, but suspect that is one of the pitfalls of being an older mother. I've worked, had my own money & independence for 20 years. Of course any change is going to be odd. But I'm relaxed about going with the flow & not putting any hard & fast rules or expectations in place now. If I did that, then changed my mind, I'd feel like I failed somehow. So no decisions now = any decision later will be a successful one! I totally agree that full time, part time, no time - whatever makes you happy will make baybee happy. End of.

We all sound far too sensible in our thought processes today - someone must've spiked our gin

Choice is good - I planned to go back part time (3 or 4 days) after having MiniG but unfortunately as split up with MiniG's Dad I HAD to go back FT to manage my mortgage. I think that's why I resent it a bit. And while MiniG likes nursery I know he doesn't LOVE it. He's a sensitive little flower and probably cries on 50% of mornings even after 21 months of FT nursery which I find really hard. I hate that I'm missing out on all the fun stuff he does and that he tells people at nursery he loves them.

Part of the reason I'm so pleased to be going on maternity leave is so I get to spend more time with him. Luckily he will get his free nursery place 15 hours a week from Sept so should be a good balance for us.

And I think I will much prefer work when I do 3 days and feel the balance is there. Can't wait! And I can always increase my hours again when I want/need to. quite lucky like that.

That is a good system for domestic violence. Is sad that it is needed but really well thought out.

Well I'm flipping glad it is Friday! Popped to Boots on way to work and bought first little newborn outfit..couldn't resist. And a little teddy snuggly blanket thing. And, ahem, I cried in Boots

OMG I want to buy outfits. And toys. And a cot. Must restrain myself. May however buy gorgeous handmade wooden noah's ark set that I know I will see in an hour or so when I go to drop some photos off for the charity I've been doing work for - they make lovely things. Maybe I can commission them to make a farm set.

I am excessively giddy today. I hope the blood results this afternoon do not spoil it.

I can't wait to finish work; it's dreadful. not the photoing, the office job. I'll probably carry on doing the photoing if I can find some gullible lovely friend to look after the Owlet for a couple of hours here and there.

Sounds like you're going to have a wonderful weekend, Loz - you deserve it :) Also sounds like you've got a good set-up at work (and yay for that other woman setting a handy precedent).

Drom, you make the perfect point that all the official types arguing about mothers' choices tend to forget - it's a happy, satisfied mum that makes a good mum.

That sticker thing is absolutely brilliant. Haven't seen anything like that at my hossie, but it should definitely be introduced at every maternity/women's health unit.

So good that Berwhale is Just Right :)

LadyG, MiniG might not 'love' nursery but on the other hand, he has YOU as his mum, so he's already a winner :)

On TYF's salary, we'll easily still qualify for child benefit, which gives you all an idea of how high/low it is, but we're creative, dreamy types who realised a long time ago that our respective tendencies do not lend themselves to making a lot of money, and we enjoy being frugal, etc. Of course, a baby will test all this to its limits! Brilliantly, TYF made the decision a few years ago to become a shareholder in his company and now has real clout as to squeezing the maximum paternity rights and working flexibility out of his position. The only prob we have is that my evil Ex ran up 10K of debts in my name and did it so well that I couldn't prove it (spent a long time on that, grrr), so I have to pay off the remainder of that every month. (Evil Ex was earning 45k a year then, btw - did it just to be a cunt.)

I'm lucky in that I'm a bit of a Jill-of-all-trades and have skills & experience that allow me to make self-employed money in all sorts of varied ways (making and selling craftsy stuff, personal tutoring, running workshops, TEFL, Uni marking and exam invigilation, etc.) that fit in with being a SAHM. Quite fancy learning baby sign language or summat and teaching that, eventually.

I'm in awe of people who have talents - i'm totally cack handed. Can cook and do my job but thats about it. I'm also rubbish at cleaning and all that shiz too. and DIY. and gardening! But MiniG and I went to baby signing classes. Was lovely Scorps. I see quite a few adverts around for various doing stuff with babies type franchises so prob plenty to go at.

Am loving the Ina May Gaskin book by the way. Is making me a bit angry as I think my midwives last time (that attended me at home) were particularly shit (told me waters had broken and they could see his head right there when was actually my waters bulging, had me pushing for hours when wasn't ready, would not shut the fuck up gossiping when I was trying to focus on contractions, didn't help me with positions to move a malpositioned baby) but I didn't know any better. This time I will be forewarned with lots more knowledge and will stand up for myself a bit more. Grrr - I am woman, hear me roar!

Not negative about all midwives by the way, the ones who came out to me and helped me establish breastfeeding afterwards were fabulous. Came out every single day to check my latch and that things were going ok when I was really struggling. Do you know you don't get that in US - women get next to no post-natal care once the birth is over.

Wasn't boasting, btw, LadyG - wouldn't want anyone to think that. I am rubbish and misplaced in a corporate or even just office environment (too much of a lone wolf and not very good at keeping mouth shut, as you may all have noticed) and am really disorganised. Ironically, am good at organising other people; how that works, I do not know! Also crap at housework (not that I care!) and can't drive.

Am going to get that Gaskin book, I think. Your first MW sounds a bit crap, but yay for the others - and the ones to come :)

Whoop whoop! My blood results are back and I still have the womble of a 15 yr old.

I have celebrated by buying a pair of tights that will actually fit without giving me screaming indigestion. And a cheese and onion twist and a large cookie that will almost certainly cause it.

GG Baby signing is definitely something I want to do too, particularly as it is rumoured to help avoid temper tantrums.

scorps trying to keep mouth shut is much overrated. Esp. if you are unfortunately enough to get a crappy midwife, clearly.

I do like the name Berwhale btw. Tis excellent.

Excellent news Bootycall. I suggest you go buy some little clothes to celebrate.

I completely freaked out one of my cats today as I woke up with leg cramps and screamed a lot a bit. Cat came running up to check on me. She normally hates us so it was a bit of a surprise.

Had an NCT session this morning, only one left now. This must mean I'm meant to have baybee soon, eep.

Oooh, Muse does that mean you know how to do The Sneeze now? Excellent.

Huzzah for youthful womble, Booty

Eeeep for Muse!

I for one will be really disappointed if Drom doesn't name her baybee Berwhale when it arrives in RL.

Didn't think you were showing off, Scorps - is cool that you have different strings to your bow. My ex (MiniG's Dad) kept irritatingly comparing me to his ex-girlfriend who could knit and speak French (and was 7 years younger than me). He seemed to find me lacking. Cock.

Yay on the excellent womble news, Booty!!

Only one more month now, eh Muse? Considered full term next week, aren't you?

Any news from Cho and Kate? Rumblings, tightenings, bloody shows?

Booty good news re your womble.

LadyG I too am envious of artistic people. Scorps Know you're not boasting, you're just talented, don't fight it . Unless falling over my own feet is a talent, I'm really quite medicore

LadyG your ex sounds a delight. As does yours Scorps. Twats.

I decided to treat myself to a differs swimming cossy to bob around the hotel pool in, I may also start an aqua natal class. Really I just like shopping & need any old flimsy excuse. Anyway, lesson for today is full length mirror & differs swimming cossy whilst still wearing tights is not a good look. I looked like Humpty Dumpty . Mr Loz is a lucky man.

Lozza - made me chuckle. Bet you looked hot really, all ripe and womanly. Maybe take the tights off for the pool though

Ripping me off to the tune of 10K was the least twatty thing about my Ex, Loz

Can you not just get a Victorian swimming cossie, complete with mob cap? I want one - daren't even imagine myself in a swimming cossie; glanced at myself in mirror whilst dressing t'other day and was in bra, pants and vest top and my first thought was 'Weebles wobble but they don't fall down'...

Is actually v frustrating having large amounts of interests and skills - am only 'quite good' or 'okay' at lots of things but not 'excellent' at anything (well, me writing ain't too shabby) and I can't stick at anything! So many jobs I would like to do that have never settled into one career and through that (and ill health) have fucked any 'serious career' chances! I now realise, in my late 30s, what sorts of jobs I'd be good at and would like to do - but would have to be fresh out of Uni to get started at the bottom and work my way up. Although I could probably do summat about that if I was less crap, sigh. Idiot.

It is Never Too Late Scorps. I know someone in her mid-30s currently retraining as a doctor. She realised she really wanted to go to medical school, so she did it. Never mind being 10 years older than everyone else, she just went and did it. And I believe should be graduating this year. So there you go.

That is v inspiring, Muse, bloody well done her. Have actually been realising the last few years that apart from getting my infernal bloody book published (pg has caused one helluva writer's block!), I'd really like to be a psychologist, probably specialising in children's problems or relationship issues and write books on those topics. I'm everyone's free counsellor in RL (which I enjoy), so might as well get paid for it! I guess that is one field where age isn't so much an issue and I would have good qualifications going into it. Just soooo much training and with a kid (or hopefully two!) as well!

Really, I'd like to do 3-4 jobs all p-t to cover all my interests (creative, counselling, etc.)! But then again, wouldn't most people, in an ideal world?! I think motherhood will really help me prioritise and get rid of old daydreams and focus on what is practicable to do and will suit the family, etc. Or at least I hope so!

I just realised that I haven't felt The Lad kick in while - was it wrong of me to have jiggled my bump around? Am now getting some clearly begrudging kicks - am I a Bad Mummy?

What Muse said. It's never too late to decide you want to do something, and although you may well find yourself competing with graduates and working your way up from the bottom, you'd be doing so with a whole lot more experience than them. What you don't want to end up doing is looking back in 10 years time and saying "I wish I'd given it a go back then".

Occers, I've already been doing that for a few years now. Is not a Good Feeling Want to make career changes and growth not only for myself but to set good example to my child(ren). Ironic that impending SAHM-ness is the catalyst!

Aaargh, when did I become a grown-up (albeit a rubbish one)?!

If The Lad provides the motivation you need to get on and do it then that will be a great thing for all of you. Can you get planning now for the things you want/need to do over the next year/2 years/5 years, then you'll have specific things to aim for?

Inspired by the encouragement on here, I have actually been writing down ideas and plans this last hour :) Am going to make sure I get stuff sorted out and decided upon before baby arrives, because I want to dedicate at least 6 months to full-on SAHM-dom before I even think about anything else (possibly/probably a year). I should've been doing my PhD by now, but the funding situation has been a bloody nightmare. Am lucky that TYF is v supportive; I feel guilty about him supporting us whilst I eventually retrain/restudy or whatever, but he always says that he'd still be doing his job if he was single and a darn sight lonelier too, so I should go for it. Man is a saint, I tells ye!

Youse lot are the best too

My mum and dad both went to university as mature students when my sister and I were little. When my mum couldn't get child care she used to have to take me to lectures with her. I like to think I was mistaken for a child prodigy! It did teach me that anything is possible if you really want it, bless the inspiring parents!

The second trimester has begun with such an upsurgence in energy that I moved my wardrobe today to clean behind it! The FDH thinks I am nesting but I think it is so novel to be able to get through a whole day without being fucked that I now think I am some kind of superhuman! Tomorrow I am going to carry a cake!

Congratulations on the holy grail womble owlette!

Am loving the image of Brainy Baby Bitey going to lectures My parents both showed me how parenthood can be really motivating; both had to leave school before A'levels for various reasons. Although they got good jobs due to being brainy and having top O'level results, they are naturally academic and both did p-t OU degrees. Dad got his when I was 3 - one of my earliest memories (I yelled 'THAT'S MY DADDY!' when he got his scroll and everyone went 'awwww') - and Mum got hers when I was 13, so she wasn't much younger than I am now (Dad is older than Mum).

Steady on with the cake-carrying, Luv But v pleased for you getting a bit of energy back, yay!

I haz a new doo and got a complementary manicure so my nails look very nice, lovely pampery afternoon in all.

Great news on the everliving womble bootycall fab news. Good call on the tights too. I need to get some too as most of mine make me resemble nothing so much as a pealed boiled egg with an elastic band round it. Attractive!

score bit late on this as you've already started researching but is defo never too late for a change. Have you done any counseling courses before? I think they are quite easy to access before you get balls deep in doing a full on psychology course. Love the idea of baby signing too. I am sure you would be able to do anything you put your mind to!

bitey so glad the energy is kicking in! Long may it last (fancy coming and helping me clean out al my crap too?)

Hope you have a luscious weekend away lozzer

New doo looks fabby rocketmoon.

I shall be testing out our new spare bed thing this evening. TBG appears to be really very drunk. I fear snoring and also stinky booze breath. I am going to sleep in spare room for my own sanity. Once I stop laughing at him.