August 2011 differs.......eating, puking and weeing our way into the 2nd trimester

[Hersetta]

New home for us ladies!!

Anyone else's DH a bit 'off' about the whole thing? Not in a not wanting it and plotting to do a runner way (I assume) but just not very interested in what is evidently a turn the world upsidedown momentous thing. This is my first, and every tiny change in my body seems exciting/weird/ something to think about. Meanwhile he is happy enough that I have to drive on every social occasion gets all awkward if anyone congratulates him, and seems to have gone off sex ( i thought I was lucky in that I haven't) even though I haven't changed at all yet, externally anyway. I think the thought of something wiggling around in there is just too scary for him. I am quite a reasonable person and don't really expect him to live and breathe baby, didn't mind that he didn't come to the 12 week scan (he did do an earlier one and will come to the 20 week, though he may not know it yet), but he will never never bring the subject up and sems generally to be putting his head in the sand. Neither of us is baby-mad in the abstract, but both wanted to go for it, so I feel he could at least put on a facade of being pleased (of course it's bloody scary, of course it will ruin our lives in certain ways, some of us dealt with all that before SWI). He was exactly thus before our wedding, and loved the day itself / loves being married, so perhaps it's a failure of imagination. And I think we're both prepared for him to be jealous that my boobs are baby's not his for a while, but we talked over all that too, and anyway right now they're still his so he ought to take full advantage. For boobs read body and soul, etc. Apologies for the rant - would be interested to know if anyone else feels the same.

Morning all.

Sorry about your DH's job MrsS, also about you IL's reaction, sod em!! This is yours and DH's moment, enjoy it, don't let anyone ruin it!

Got a card from a friend of mine this morning with 'Mid The Bump, You'll be a Great Mum' on the front. Love her!! Brought a little tear to my eye :)

Had another crap nights sleep, keep hearing an alarm going off, like one you wake up to. DH can't hear it, but if I put my head under the covers I couldn't hear it, so it's not in my head. Driving me mad. Don't know where it's coming from. DH even went into attic yesterday and nothing there.

Looking forward to our Tesco delivery today, doughnuts on their way!!

• Mind the Bump

Hello FeralGirlCambs I know what you mean, my DH is a bit like that. He very rarely mentions it himself, although he does listen reasonably attentively when I talk about it . I think it is partly the surreal factor and partly that it is not a physical thing to men. For us it is real, almost from conception because we can feel the changes in our body every day and so we think about it all the time. For them it doesn't become physical until the birth IYSWIM. Imagine if it was a very close friend/relative who was PG - you'd be pleased and would think about them a lot but not every second of the day IYSWIM. I'm sure he will come round

Sorry feral that your DH is feeling a bit offish. He's maybe not getting too excited until your little bump starts growing. It's a whole new experience so he may not know how to feel.
First one here too. My DH is not quite the same, he is excited, and talks about little one, and kisses him/her goodnight, but he has said, until the little one arrives, he will not get over the top excited. I know however once I start getting a bump, feeling kicks etc, he will get major excited!!
Give your DH time. I know it's a bit frustrating as you are excited and just want them to be the same, but for us, it's more personal as were cooking the little one, whereas, they were just the sperm lol!! :)

Thanks girls! I know I just need a dose of common sense responses. Thing is, one has to pretend to family / friends that he's delighted, or at least not mention the offishness, so an online outlet is good. I did joke to him the other day that his contribution so far had been sperm and £3 for hospital car-parking! I think the close friend analogy is a very sensible one KT. So how do I seduce him?! I'm not whale-sized yet and would like some action before I am...

Is he not wanting to get jiggy because he's scared to hurt the baby feral?
Also, have you thought about buying him a book? I bought hubby one for Xmas 'The new fathers survival guide' or something like that, which is about pregnancy, and what is to come after. It is quite humorous so easy for them to read if they are not big into books. Might get him a bit more involved in how your feeling and what is to come :)

My DH was exactly the same with DC1 FeralGirlCambs I too got him a book (Fatherhood: The truth) to explain all the my unreasonable hormones & cravings & to give him some reassurance that the baby really can't feel him! I actually managed to get a bit more sympathy & understanding after that.

Feral i would say mine can be like that a bit and for my previous ones too, he is happy about pregnancy but just baby seems a long way off to them i think? and untill bump is a lot bigger they don't really have anything visual to see. i was really happy though mine really wanted to come to scan, because he actually said he does need that to kind of feel that its real and bond with the idea of having a baby, which i think has been the case for him each time. but he is a good dad and im sure yours will be too, as others said its just on our mind more than theirs at this stage is probably why they dont always bring it up

we went for scan 2day and was really nice to see baby and see heart beating, i was also amazed at how quick everything seems to happen in this hospital! other 2 were in a much bigger hospital and would have been waiting a good hour before a scan but this was almost straight in and not much of a wait for the bloods either, so was quite impressed with that.
now just looking 4ward to the next scan, which i think is not til march!!

and my dates got put back 4 days to the 14th, which is closer to what i thought. ive put 13th on here as that was my estimated date based on long cycle but midwife had put it as 10th. so happy with that being put back really as i have a tendancy to go overdue so its good to get that extra 4 days in there just to give a bit more time before they start talking of inductions
will edit the list later and change my date cos i cant be bothered to do it now

Ooo Firawla glad you scan went well. So nice to see the little heartbeat isn't it, makes yours just melt!!
Can't wait til Friday to see our little one again.

We've got a small hospital too, it's lovely isn't it? When we went for our first scan, we were 15 mins early and didn't even have to say my name, the lady just said 'are you Katy', I said I was and straight in! Love it, so much more personal I think :)

We've moved from where there is a brand new University Hospital and when you went in for whatever, you were just a number. It was also like a shopping presinct!

Firawla glad you enjoyed your scan (me too, on Monday!) and thanks for the reassuring comments from you and others. I should look into one of those books. Let's just say the NCT classes blurb won't be moving from my in-tray till his mood changes: not at all sure it'd go down well as lovely loved-up Dads who actively want to talk about nappies seem to be a premise of all their literature. On that subject, anyone signed up for these? Any thoughts on whether worthwhile?

Today was the afternoon by the end of which the hospital said they'd call if there was a problem with the bloods they took on Monday, so I might actually be able to relax at my yoga class tonight...

Hurrah firawla!! So pleased your scan went well! Teensy bit about how lovely your hospital sounds! Ours is very average - you get there early, you get seen 45 mins after your appointment and all very anonymous. Still, so long as they've got an ultrasound machine I'll be there with bells on on Monday!

Feral - so sorry to hear your DH is being offish. I would totally agree with what some of the others have said about it perhaps just not being real to him yet and that he can't feel the physical side of it. Just a thought ... have you tried talking to him about how you feel and how his behaviour is affecting you? Obv I don't know him, but he might just not know how to put his thoughts / feelings about it all into words. I agree with the book thing tho - I bought my DH 'the blokes guide to pregnancy' (actually bought it during my last pregnancy and it arrived the day I miscarried... it hasn't seen daylight since then until last week) It is pretty informative and very funny too so might help him start to get his head round it all.

Lunch today was 2 x chocolate cornflake cakes and 1 x belgian bun. I've justified it spectacularly well though in my opinion - 1 cake for each of us

OOoh, and also Feral - I've already signed up for NCT classes too! Might be VERY early days but needed something to keep me positive etc. They're in May I think ... I'll barely be able to walk by then if what some other twin mums are saying, but they've been recommended by just about everyone I know who's had a baby. Particularly good for us I think because we don't have any family in Lincoln and only a smallish group of close friends (none of whom have babies) so it will be good to make new friends with people who are in a similar boat.

OMG I have had the worst day ever!! Knew this morning that it was going to be bad like. I didnt get anything to eat until 1.30pm... by which time my tummy was well and truly going somersault and grumbling to me . And they went totally the wrong way to the bank and got stucking in traffic in the city centre, so ended up going straight to school for the kids so banking still in my bag . Then my boss phoned and needed the file I'd brought home to work on... not a good day!! I have SW tonight and think the scales are going to scream at me because I had a huge lunch (mmm fritata and salad mmm...) and have done nowt but want to eat since I got home, made the kids scrambled egg and I have to have some NOW!! But am determined to wait... I will wait!!

Aw lovely to hear of all the scan this week... very exciting!! And I wish I was in a nice little hospital after hearing about them, but all being well I wont be in long enough to think about it come the time x

Well between us it seems like we have all the meals of the day covered by cakes as I had an eccles cake for breakfast!!

Had my two consultants appointments today and they were both very nuce although I did come away with a prescription for Clexane which I will need to inject myself with daily until 6 weeks after baby arives, which is a bit of a bummer.

Other consultant was so discuss bith options, but he just said so when would you like your CS!! Shocked me a bit as I thought there would be pressure to at least try for a VBAC so I am booked in to have a CS on 27/7!!

Feral - are you still in Cambs as I was there today (at the Rosie). Are you going to the Rosie too?

NCT classes are a good idea in my opinion. I did them first time round and the main advantage is the group of friends. We still meet once a week, although no longer at each others houses as we have 17 children between us! (We hire a local hall so the children can run around and we can have a nice cup of tea....!). Some of them are are really great friends now, and it's been great to have so many friends for DS1 from the beginning, and DS2 has some too due to babies number 2 and 3 coming along.

I am someone who reads up a lot on things and I spent hours reading my pregnancy book. As a result I didn't really learn anything new at the classes, but it was a great opportunity for DH to learn about important things as he never seemed to 'get round' to reading the book.... A tour of the maternity unit was very useful though.

thanks for all the comments really nice to have people on here to come and share enthusiasm about scans etc

klou my previous hosp was a huge university one, i was happy with that one too couldnt say i had any complaints with it or anything but the speed of this one just amazing! and handy cos i did not have to miss toddler group afterwards as in and out in under an hour, nice one

mrs stevo i like ur logic one cake each

i dont know what to have for dinner myself dont really feel hungry at all, although dh has come home and wants food so will have to think of something or maybe he can get a take out

i have been working on trying to tell my ds1 a bit about baby now after scan, although not sure he really got it and took it in properly so maybe have to just keep mentioning to him gradually over the rest of the pregnancy. just thought i better try and say something now that i know all is okay, because i will be talking about it in front of him. i said to him if he wants to have another brother or sister like ds2 and he was like YES so i suppose that is a good sign even though i dont think he fully grasped the situation

Lol MrsStevo about not being able to walk by May, just you wait til you've had them!!!

Tesco delivery has arrived and have just unpacked it. Doughnuts didn't even get to the kitchen!!! So good!

hi ladies, i am shattered. Went to gym as usual this morning but i think it wore me out. I was shattered at work and had to eat quality street and crisps all day to feel human. Seriously, i was freezing cold and faint. Then when the sugar kicked in i felt ok. I'm having an early night tonight to recover. Does anyone else feel the same after the gym? I think i need to eat lots after the gym from now on. Which slightly makes the process pointless :)

Just watched a water birth on the net here must admit, never watched a birthing vid before, been avoiding OBEM, and it did make me feel a bit 'oh shit, I can't do this' up until she actually gave birth. So worth it :)

Oh wow... I've been watching OBEM but you don't really get to see the anatomy of it all... I realise that is where the baby will come out, but I'm not really sure my bits can do that to be honest!! Eek

regarding the birth, yes the pain is awful and nothing can prepare you. But your body deals with it and it goes so fast. Your body is designed for this event and will cope. The best advice i can give you is keep active and have a birthing partner who understands you and what you want and what your thresh hold is if you know what i mean. I told my dp i did not under any circumstances want am epidural and he was great at reminding me. Also let your birthing partner watch video's etc. It helps no end. My dp is a clean freak and i thought he would pass out but he was in awe.

regarding the birth, yes the pain is awful and nothing can prepare you. But your body deals with it and it goes so fast. Your body is designed for this event and will cope. The best advice i can give you is keep active and have a birthing partner who understands you and what you want and what your thresh hold is if you know what i mean. I told my dp i did not under any circumstances want am epidural and he was great at reminding me. Also let your birthing partner watch video's etc. It helps no end. My dp is a clean freak and i thought he would pass out but he was in awe.

I think it is worth remembering that each contraction lasts between 1 and 1.5 minutes. I didn't know that before I had my DC and I thought the pain was constant. Somehow knowing that the longest it would last was 90 seconds before you get a (albeit short by the end) break was very comforting. I found crowning (when the head is born, the worst bit, but again that doesn't last very long and then you have your baby so it is all worth it .

I did NCT classes with my first and I'm still in touch with our group, in fact one of the girls and DD were born on the same day and are bestest friends. We were 5 couples and now have 10 kids (plus this bump) between us. I found the classes really helpful, but also the fact that all your babies are due in the same month so they are at the same development stage as you. You have lots of people to ask is this normal. Also I didn't really know anyone in the village where I lived having always commuted into the city 20 miles away, so after the birth I graduated happily into their coffee and toddler groups and I've met some great people. DH is now coffee group rep for one of the groups and was happy to go on his own when I went back to work. Even though most of the time he is the only dad, he has been made increadibly welcome.

I did NCT classes during my first pg and i am still in touch with a couple of the mums now. DS is at preschool with a couple of them too, but never plays with them!! It all went to shite when i went back to work 4 days per week, and now full time so i kinda lost contact ish. I still chat to the mums at preschool collection/drop off times and of course kids parties etc. If you already have a network of friends with kids both younger and older, which i do, its not that necessary! I wont be going this time as i will have to get back to work quite quickly and bambino 2 will be going to nursery I expect.

Pain in labour is hideous from memory. Many people on here talk about natural labour etc but having experienced a very long exhausting labour i would suggest consider being flexible about pain relief and your birth plan, as they dont always go to plan.