April 2011 - back to back sex and other mysteries

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Here we go ladies, a brand new sparkly thread that should see us all into our 2nd trimester

Many thanks for the warm welcomes

I've felt lots of movements this evening, I was sitting in quite a twisted position which is why I think I felt it so much.

Sorry April, didn't mean to forget anyone. There are 52 people! and the map was constantly trying to put people in the US (birmingham defaults to the american one, for example).

I remember having particular trouble with your location. Just checked, you are there labelled in Frimley (when you hover your mouse over it though, it says you're in Frimley, New Zealand). Use the 'GeoSearch' box on the top right corner. You're there with Happy Camel.

And I do apologise, you are the 1.9% of people on the list who are having their 4th child!

Sorry, it was a bit of fun, didn't mean to upset anyone with my errors. I confess it hasn't been peer reviewed yet! x

petalouda dont know how u worked this out..Im in Bournemouth, and am expecting identical twin boys. I havent updated my stats for ages so dont know if this will make a difference to your map....thats insane u really are procrastinating. !! Lol....

Well done Petal, Lovely map.

If you ever get bored in the future and fancy updating it further the island I live on is Guernsey

Welcome Sassy

Architien You havn't gone off topic, as Petal's stats point out 45% of us are not on our first baby and it's an Ante-Natal club not a specific topic board so feel free to post about whatever you like. Yes, it's always nice to hear the good news stories but as they say "a problem shared" and all that.

hippy if you update the stats list, I'm sure I'll get round to updating the other stats and map at some point!

I was procrastinating badly, but I managed to get the house clean, christmas decs up and do some school work! So not too shabby!

Midwife in the morning. Night all!

Am having my work meeting about maternity leave today. Scary stuff, can't believe it's all coming up soon. Is amazing.

Really bad hip pain is a bit annoying though and I've managed to get that hideous cough that's going round. Eugh, where is the f-ing glow?!?!?

Am getting excited about Christmas to distract myself!

Cyclebump you insired me to get on with sorting out my maternity leave so I have told work I am leaving four weeks before my due date.

Mad boss keeps trying to push me in to saying when I'll be back though which I am fairly sure she's not allowed to do.

Only 52 working days left, yay!

Hi ladies, I haven't been on for a while as time seems to keep running away from me.

Anyway, I had my 20 week scan this morning and we're having another boy. We are thrilled

The baby yawned and slept the whole time so I had to turn over and jump about to get him to move. Everytime I have a scan I'm amazed at the detail. We saw a brilliant picture of the heart, you could see all 4 chambers beating and it looked just like a hot cross bun!

Hmmmm I don't think bosses can push on your return date. Legally they have to assume you'll be off for the full 12 months. I've told mine that while I'm not will to commit to a return date they should plan for me to be off until at least the end of the year.

Hmm, it's warmer in NZ so I'll take it!! :o

Thaney, By law they have to keep your exact job role open for 12mths. So if you leave on the 1st April 2011 then they would have to plan for your return on or by the 31st March 2012. In your letter to them where you provide them with your MatB1 form you need to advise them officially that you are PG , what your due date is and when you plan to take your maternity leave from. Dont forget that you accrue holiday whilst off so... If you plan to take 9mths then you can effectively take your annual leave at the beginning of your mat leave.. In your letter you can say that you are currently expecting to take the full 9mths maternity leave but will advise near your return date.

So..... Say you have 4 wks holiday allowance and you decided you wanted to work until the 1st April (just before your EDD) then you could say that you were going to finish work on the 4th March. However if baby arrives before your due date and whilst you are 'on leave' then your Maternity Pay kicks in and they would pay you the balance of your holiday.

You only need to advise them 28 days (or whatever your notice period is) prior to your return if you want to come back sooner or later than 9mths. So no need to worry until about Sept/Oct time.

Just had an email through re SMP payment and it is rising in April from £124.88 per week to £128.73 :o
Sorry for long post but I am the HR director for my company and have just been doing this with one of my staff :)

petalouda I love your work with the stats.. Awesome! This is just the kind of thing I think is a good use of time :)

I have to let work know about maternity leave in a couple of weeks has anyone decided what they're doing? In an ideal-lottery-winning-world I'd go tomorrow but not sure how long I can afford to be off..

beckie hope everything is ok with you and the bump.

Congrats on your boy iliketomoveit .. I had a sleepy one too - I hope he sleeps that well when he's here! :)

Not all employers let you take all your holiday. I'm only allowed to take 6 months' worth. And I know of at least one person whose baby came early, while she was still on annual leave before maternity leave kicked in, and she lost the leave she'd booked

Cycle you've had a meeting about your leave?! Wow, you must work for an organised... organisation!

Can I pose a question to the floor? (which may end up another statistic!)

Have you had an official risk assessment done? (and been informed of it's outcomes)

I haven't had anything, despite telling the Head about my pregnancy verbally on the first day of term in September, and giving written notice 5 weeks ago. Various other women in the department never had risk assessments done either. Bear in mind we are science teachers and deal with chemicals (and children!) all day! Seems a little slack to me!

Hi everyone!

Welcome sassy!

I'm also getting back pain when I sit down, right at the bottom of my spine, at the coccyx - anyone else suffering from this? I sit at my computer all day but all the advice I've seen says things like 'try not to sit too much', which isn't overly helpful! I might get one of those inflatable balls but I think it might be a bit low for my desk. Any ideas?

Beckie hope everything is going ok for you.

Good news on the increase in SMP, thanks April, every penny counts. I can't believe I've only got three and a half months left at work. It's so surreal. I still haven't got my head around what you do with your time on maternity holiday. I'm really lucky as DH works from home but I am also fearful that I will drive him insane. Imagine trying to get work down where he knows I'm downstairs in PJs watching Jeremy Kyle. Hopefully I will bond with the NCT group as none of my friends live locally. If I don't get out of the house at least once a day we'll be divorced after 8 months!

Risk assessment?! Hahahahahaha

Oh and my company's atrociously organised but I've pushed and pushed to get it sorted early and, legally, I have to hand in my official dates by Monday.

It took three weeks for the 'HR' person to get back to me when I emailed her to meet up and talk about my holiday entitlement and it's a logistical nightmare trying to find a replacement for me. Because it'll be horrendous for my colleagues if they cock it up, I've researched my legal obligations and am determined to make them pull their socks up.

I've learnt from friends' experiences that, unfortunately, a lot of companies let things slide massively and it often ends up being the pregnant lady who gets things done.

AprilMeadow My HR department are actually really good and explaining what we get and the company does offer much more than they are legally required to do. It is just my boss who is a moron and doesn't understand what she can and can't say. I am very well practiced at ignoring her though.

Cyclebump that's really harsh that they don't let you take all of your holiday. Mine let you take all of it (6 weeks) and any you don't use you get paid for. If the baby comes early and your maternity kicks in then they still pay you for any you haven't used.

Petalouda I had a standard workplace assessment at my desk which was very dull and pointless. I then requested a more details one as I spend a lot of my time in exhibition centres. As another part of the company runs exhibitions they did have a risk assessment especially for pregnant women at exhibition. The health & safety guy filled it all in specifically for me and then spectacularly failed to type it up send it to either me or my boss before I had to do an event. He still hasn't done it and I have a huge exhibition to do in January so I'm not impressed. Will try nagging some more but I don't suppose it will get me anywhere.

Sounds like stress you don't need, Cycle.

I'm pretty sure school can carry on without me. I haven't got any holiday entitlement to worry about (except having my 'return to work' day as the day before the summer hols!). And with teaching, I can't imagine there'll be a queue of kids waiting for me in July.

Most companies have the same policy as mine sadly. My problem is that it's a small company that's grown quickly but its HR etc hasn't grown with it.

To be fair to them, it's not great timing. My magazine (and me with it) was sold to the company in July. My right arm was in a cast from a nasty break in June so I couldn't really work. Two days later I got the cast off but had a few physio appointments. Then two weeks later I realised I was pg.

I'm an hour and a half from the office so every appointment means I'm out for at least half a day.

JoEW I can't wait for maternity leave. Am taking four weeks off before my due date (mainly because of the big commute). There's an animal park down the road for me to walk round and I'm planning to rock on down to the local NCT 'Bumps and babies' coffee mornings to make some new mum links.

I guess if you are due back in December that you could just use your last 2 weeks holiday at the end of your leave so in theory could push your start date back to the new year..

We do tend to go above and beyond at our place but thats a perk of owning the company (along with my dh and 3 other fellow directors).

I think risk assessments are supposed to be done but there are different levels. For example. 1 girl who was pg in the office was advised to get up and have regular breaks, not to move anything heavy as well as a few other things. She was desk based and didnt really have any direct risks. Another girl pg with twins had a different RA done but that was because i was more aware of the dangers etc etc.. Again another desk job but was panicky and wanted to wrap her in cotton wool. A friend who is qualified to do RA came out and made a few suggestions which we followed.

I think it all really depends on the type of job you do and what you are exposed to.

When i worked for my previous employers I was the one who had to push to find a replacement and I was the one who basically pushed in general. But to be fair to them there were only 10 of us!

Petal I'm loving the stats action! There isn't a stats geek smiley so I'll just go with the seasonal

I had a risk assessment done as soon as I told my manager and line manager at around 10wks as usually I'd be doing a lot of lifting and we were really busy just at the time that I was knackered and throwing up! Mostly it was common sense and just making sure it was written down somewhere 'official' though Personnel were then asking for my 'Maternity Plan' I had to email them and point out that as, at that point, I hadn't even had a 12wk scan I didn't feel comfortable saying when I would be maternity leave!

I'll be submitting the Maternity Plan tomorrow if my manager is happy to sign it off. I'm taking from the beginning of March till the beginning of October I think. Though I have 4 weeks of holiday to use so all of March is annual leave with Mat leave kicking in at the start of April. Thankfully when I start back it will be the start of the new academic year and the new holiday year so will still have annual leave for the coming year.

Well, that's the plan as far as me and my office are concerned whether Personnel will agree is another matter!

Hi Everyone

I'm a newish newbie to this group. My first is due 23/4, and we're not finding out the sex, if we can avoid the temptation.

Re maternity leave: I realise now how lucky I am. My company is very good and supportive although because I've only be there for 10 months then I only qualify for SMP. If I'd been there for 2 years I could have had 4 months paid leave. Sigh. I've indicated that I'd like to be back at by by the end of 2011, but that I couldn't commit to a definite date until much later next year. I'm also doing the keeping in touch days, which is another good way of earning a little easy dosh while on leave, and, as the name suggests, keeping in touch with people. Not everyone's idea of a benefit, I know!

Very jealous of all you PG ladies in the UK who can take up to 12 months off work

No staturory leave laws here it's up to each individual employer how long they let you take off. I'm taking the maximum my employer will allow which means I will be finishing on 12th March and returning 10th October. (20 weeks paid, 10 unpaid).

Bloody hell! I get 16 weeks, which I can theoretically extend by 4 weeks if still BFing, 6 weeks before 10 after but I'm pushing to work as late as possible so I only miss 2 weeks of the semester. In reality I probably won't go back until late August/early September but they could call me in to supervise retakes etc. Plus I suspect I'll be given piles of marking/assesment whilst officially on ML :(

Not sure if I even qualify for the equivalent of SMP as my contract runs from 01/09 to 31/08 renewable :( :( Plus we might get posted over the summer so I'd be jobless, but we don't find out til March.

On the upside I now have clothes which fit! And my UK stay has been extended by a whole day for the princely sum of ?11.55!

Frakk - are you back at the moment? Lucky you missed the snow, though more forecast, yuck.
If i were you i'd take the marking (staying at home) over going back to work, easier to fit that in around baby naptimes with no need for childcare.

Though finding out about moving so late could be stressful!!

I don't work atm so not got ML worries, just got to juggle the school runs with bump/baby so that could be fun

Not much to report pg-wise, sharp aches on sides of bump, sore lower back, the usual, hey ho. :)

Although there are minimum requirements in law in the UK it unfortunately doesn't stop an employer from acting badly in reality.

My experience with my first baby(18 mths now) was that after rising quite high in 10 years of career and regularly working 60-80hr weeks I informed early on in pregnancy that we should plan for temp replacement and support for the pregnancy period only to be taken aside and told that "given your family situation I dont think it fits with the dedication we need in this role". A very long legal battle started and the result is that I decided to leave with a package as ties have been severed, damage had been done.

In truth although it was hard to go through the transition of being all about my career to be stay at home full time mum I'm actually really very glad it happened. I'm self employed now and choose my own projects (when I can get them too of course!) Although getting turned down now for projects because I'm pregnant and the timescale doesn't fit....but nevermind that just now.

Now my little boy is here I would not want to give up that short time of the first few years with him as it goes so fast. It is hard though. I do get judged a lot (assumptions made, although I am not on benefits nor too stupid/lazy to get a paid job) and the work I do at home looking after my son I can tell you is far more draining and intense than heading up a large department within a company for 80 hours a week (that came as a huge shock to me, as I thought it would be a bit like a holiday). If you're not sure what you're going to do with all the time you get in maternity then it may surprise you in a nice way to realise that it's more "working" than holiday. It's nice work which you will treasure though. Make sure you sort out your domestic HR arrangements before baby is born by which I mean gather offers of babysitting in and ensure your partner/husband enables you to have time off every week at least for a few hours. It's lovely being a mum, as some here will already know. I thought I'd share my bumpy pregnant career lady experience to reassure any that even if the worst happens with an employer you can still come out the other side just fine. Research your rights, keep a daily diary and create a handover file (what is where, what is expected etc). Back everything up to a server that you can access at home so if you do get an annoying email months down the line from a senior you can politely reply with what and when you had already agreed on the topic. That way you can have peace of mind to turn your full attention to your family life. Sorry for the long post, and forgive me if I've bored you all silly. :D