The PESH Deli; Won't somebody think of the children???????

[Cosmosis]

THE NOT LIST

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25

Muse - yay! Long may it last! (wellness and weekend, both)

AIBU to be Smug that I am not at work next week so actually my weekend will be really loooong, in fact until next weekend?

Boxy Ithinkyou'llfind I have the world's most humungous baby - it's like a badly weighted bowling ball with limbs. I would like to petition Evolution to design human breeding females better so we aren't knackered, aching shadows of our former selves when we are presented with a dependent. Some sort of two week break post-pregnancy and pre-motherhood would be just super.

Boxy you are wise in the ways of Peshes and I liked your take on war and peace. I am such a conflict-phobe that I get a bit panicky playing chess and wish the queens could just have tea together or something...Sometimes I wonder am I really cut out for mumsnet - anyway, needy hugs to all.

GOOD LUCK to the upcoming scanners - medee, muse and drom - who is actually today I reckon?! I do remember the scared feeling before the 12 week scan and the joy during and after. It's great! We shall be awaiting the news! And remember, sometimes sonographers have to concentrate a bit during scans: this makes them scarily silent, but is not something to panic about, I learned...And then begins the fun of spreading the news :)

6 days to ML - vag / mommy that's just MAD! It will be wonderful though.

So: I'm reading Ina May Gaskin. Anyone else read this? Rather taken with it and its hippy ways I must admit.

Heavy Bowling ball Baby Peeps - a friend of mine who just had a baby swears by her maternity belt. Have you seen these? They are kind of harnessy looking things that click into place around the hips and back and gives serious heavy-duty support to the bump. She said it was amazing (but that she had promised hers to her sister and could not pass it over. Humppphh). Anyway, my pregnancy book equally gives them a glowing review and the author muses that she 'cannot understand why they are not systematically recommended to women in later pregnancy'. Have you tried them?

I remember having a first glass of fizz after the sheer relief of 12 week scan. It was like the best thing ever.

vag can I come and talk to you quietly in the corner about bathroom issues? Spent 25 minutes trying to get it out last night - never experienced anything like it before. Ahem, at one point I thought it was actually stuck and I might be giving birth. Fuck me it was painful. A bit of blood after too. Terrifed of bum grapes now and have spent all morning (and some of the night) doing backside bum clenches. Pissed off cos I have been having porridge, brown rice, broccoli etc every day. And fruit. I was moaning so much in bathroom that mr moo came to look for me. What a sad sight that must have been. Christ on a bike if that isn't moaning I don't know what is.

Switty - have not seen those belts - will google. Guess they wouldn't stop the flailing though - it is fab to feel Clint move (so reassuring) and uncomfortable at the same time. Guess it is too much to ask of a pre-born to limit squirms to convenient times.....

moo - oh poor you, sounds hideous. Always take a book - more relaxing means less straining in desperation. Fibrogel too? But I might not be the best giver of advice since whatever I did clearly did not work....! I'm hugely upping my water intake too. Tedious on the trips to the loo front but has seemed to help a bit. I feel better for it anyway.

thanks vag it was actually quite alarming. A case of - this really doesn't seem to be coming out - what do I do now?????!!!!

OMG have just heard a voicemail message left on my phone Weds (post MW app) by sheer accident. Turns out that they thought I hadn't arrived or had my appointment - and didn't have any record of me having seen anyone. More worryingly they didn't bother to do the glucose test. No one has told me to do this or what I needed to do. I'm seriously pissed off in light of the way the MW was during the appointment (i.e. clueless) and if the phone ever actually stops being engaged, someone is going to get a piece of my mind.

Scan done! Hurrah! All well with Berwhale; nuchal looks fine and has all limbs. Due date moved to 24 Feb. I iz having a baybee. Yay!

Camel - HOORAY!!!

VAG I am sooo sorry to have to inform you, but I definitely have the most unfeasibly massive baby. And he kickboxes. I am sure he is bigger than DD - I know I feel more stretched in the stomach area than last time, and I feel pinned to the bed if I try and lie on my back at all - even if it is just for a breather when I roll from one aching side to another in the middle of the night. Will the belt stop me going 'ba-doom!' when I roll over, and prevent me from going 'oof' lots, do you think?

Moo give them a verbal slapping. With DD the community MWs kept losing blood test results, meaning I ended up like a pin cushion I was stuck with a needle so many times. It should have been a warning sign to me about the crap-ness of the local health trust, but hey! Give them hell.

Switty Virtually everyone I work with (but not me or my closest work collegues, obviously!) are members of the trade union Unite. You might not have heard about them in Benelux-land, but have a quick google, and see why I have to be the queen of keeping the peace

And onto the thorny (although hopefully not too thorny) topic of bumgrapes. Sympathy to all who suffer. I feel blessed to never have experienced anything in that department. Maybe the abuse I put my digestive system through every time I go to work has some uses after all!

drom another YEY here!

Enjoy your holiday, x

Yay for Drom and Berwhale. BAYBEE!

Yyyaaaaayyy!!! fab news Drom! Delighted for you. Did you spot any family resemblances? (Boyfy insists that our baby has - quote, unquote - "your big feet".) Anyway, delighted to hear that all's well and you don't have to go through any nuchal test stress or anything. Did baby cooperate or was it a struggles to get a "fix" on him/her?

boxy - belt might help with the "ooof" I reckon.

vag I also find that the baby kicks are (gulp) already a bit intense. Feels like she is going to come bursting out of there at times. It was so mad last night that I got boyfy to feel it, whereupon he got a bit worried and asked whether she could be "in distress". No, all normal, right? Is because she still has room to somersault and generally express herself you reckon?

Drom that is fantastic news, I'm so excited for you! Have a fabulous holiday.

Moo my hippo birthing tutor told me the best time to practice the 'contraction breathing' was whilst having a poo. Sounds like you might get a lot of practice? Sorry you couldn't sleep - I am doing the opposite. I am suffering too as I cannot get to sleep until somewhere between 1am and 3.30am and then I am woken by TG getting up for work at 5.45, again when he leaves the house at 6.45 and finally by MadamMoo at 7.30. AND AND AND Madam is now trying to go without her usual 2-3 hr nap in the afternoon. I am starting to get very weary not to mention hormonal and screechy. Gah. Hows that for moaning?

As for the menkulling, I absolutely LOVE being pregnant, every bit of it. But I still menkul, especially the first 12 weeks. I couldn't sleep the night before the 12wk scan. I was less menkul after, but then it ramped again before the 20wk scan due to the 'you are so small' comments. Now I can tell them all to go to fuck as baybee is just fine. Anyway, what I mean is, we all menkul to some degree, it is normal.

Oh and finally Muse I did laugh when I read your post - so glad you are finding the positive despite the puking continuing!

Came over here to stalk Drom's scan news - overjoyed for her :)

Now have pooing advice for Honeymonster: I've never been pg but have had bad constipation due to IBS, etc., and a Doc once gave me top advice... although is not for the squeamish. If there's a poo there but it's not coming out, make sure your hands are clean and then touch your perineum. You'll probably feel a lump, ie the turd. With your fingers, push down on the lump in a downwards motion and strain and it'll come out. You can wrap your fingers in toilet paper (I do on the rare occasions I have to do this), but bear in mind you might wee on your fingers. It really does work!

Now I have embarrassed myself and grossed everyone out, I shall away, like some sort of be-cloaked faecal avenger...

Just been reminded about hippo birthing and something new IM said yesterday. I told her I had read the book, and she said 'let me guess, it irritated the hell out of you?' And I said, yes, how did you know? She reckoned I already have a lot of good coping strategies in place that are self-developed and well established, so I should stick with those. We had a long chat about the Mongan method, and we both have our opinions on it, which I won't repeat here in order to avoid imbuing it with any negativity for those it might be working for. But anyway - for all the horsey PESHes out there, here's the best way I can think of to describe it - I feel it's a bit like Parelli. You can be very good horsewoman, but my experience of the Parelli crowd is that they cannot think of any other way of dealing with your horse that might work. If it ain't Parelli, it's just wrong. Which is a bit proscriptive, I think. And that's how I feel about what I read in the hippo book. So back to my imaginary beach it is for me.... I can hear the palm trees swaying in the breeze already, and the barman is just getting my drink sorted.

Digging it out with a stick, scrof?

Phew - have whole sigh of relief thingy going on. Filled with cold but too excited about baby and hollibobs to whinge as much as I would normally.

Switty No, no obvious family resemblances. Mostly just looks like a blob, but, y'know, my blob.

Taxi is arriving soon - have a lovely couple of weeks, people! Will try and check in to see how the next lot of scans go.

PS That means I have a Hippo book to pass on. Gently fingered by just a couple of PESHes, sent to me by the lovely Rots. First to ask for it can have it, and hopefully keep it circulating in the Deli for a while longer.

PPS Switty Ina May rocks!

Drom congrats on the successful scan!

And Scorpette I know nothing at all about you (was only in the Palace very briefly due to successful OH hole-in-one) but am impressed you feel comfortable enough to share that info here! You made me think of a horsey shampoo I use on dirty horses, called Superpoo! If you ever need to go into hiding (and some of us have) this would be a great name to change to

gah! drom - i've probably missed you as i very rarely hit holy grail of 2 babies sleeping peacefully at same time - but massive congrats. a real baby!!

chuffed for ya :)

drom what a way to start a holiday. Fabulous news. Good on you lady.

scorps you win the prize for best post of the day. I swear to god I was half considering how the fuck I was going to get it out at 4.30am last night. There was no return if you get my drift. Your very practical and helpful advice is noted and filed for future use, please god not necessary. I'm going to be popping in to the palace for more of your sordid advice in future :)

polly I did remember you saying that last night and was trying to do breathing - which I have to say did help a bit. Before I panicked and got quite hot. Sleeping arrangements in your house sound shit. Can you put him indoors in the spare room?

b drom
fantastic scan news, really pleased to here everything is going well!

ffs.

Oh yeah so update from a proper MW I finally managed to talk to...

They were trying to ring me today as it turns out the useless one I saw on Weds didn't spell my name right and so the lab wouldn't use my bloods. What a fucking waste of a visit. Got to go back next week now. I had one almighty whinge and she was very lovely (and knowledgeable) and answered all the questions we asked but couldn't get an answer. Apparently she won't be on call, so no chance of her turning up on our doorstep on 31 October. thank god.

Hooray, I have a haircut booked for 4pm tomorrow, and 40% off it. Wahanda is a bloody marvellous website.

Bah to incompetent midwives, but glad there's no chance she'll be at the delivery moo.

Coo that's good. Never 'erd of Wahanda...

Yeah no chance she's coming into Casa Moo!!!

Final presso tweaks and then I am off to John Lewis for some lunch, shopping, cab home, sleep. Yayyyyyyy.

This is Wahanda They have good money off deals. And if you live in London, Manchester, Brizzle, Glasgow, Edinburgh, or Leeds you can sign up for their daily mob deals which are super bargainous. I have had a fab haircut for a tenner, a day at a spa for £15, and other stuff too. It's ace.

I have been out for lunch. A lunch of raclette. Potatoes, melted cheese and little cornichons and pickled onions. It was AMAZING. Bob liked. I liked. I do not feel pukey.

And some work I had to do this evening has been cancelled. Hooray!