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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

December 2010, where we waft about in mat gear eating icecream

997 replies

Miffster · 16/07/2010 22:56

Yo December 2010 ladies, here we go - the mid-point of our pregnancies...and beyond!

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DuelingFanjo · 19/07/2010 15:24

Sorry you are feeling down lavitabella

I had a midwife appointment at about 17 weeks nd she said she wouldn't need to see me again until 25 weeks.

Strix · 19/07/2010 15:35

PJEN, I think before you completely freak yourself (and half the thread) out, you should read a bit on what happens in a c-sections.

I have not had a vaginal birth (and am definitely not sorry). But, I have had a lot of vaginal/home/section debate on MN as well as in real life and think I have an idea of what happens in both.

I don't think a section is really an easy option. But, also, I don't think that recovery is always worse. I have heard some pretty miserable vaginal birth stories. Post section you will find it very painful to use your stomache muscles for anything, and you will learn the sitting in a chair and moving your big toe uses your abdominal muscles. You might get an infection which I understand is very unppleasant (I never had one). If you have a vaginal birth you may tear (ouch) or break your pelvis or coccyx (both of which are very rare but VERY painful for a VERY long time if it happens).

What I think you do get with a section is a more controlled set of risks and side effects. Your stomach will hurt for at least a couple of weeks. You will have a scar, which will probably produce an overhang. You will stay in the hospital for a couple of days, and not a couple of hours. You will be told that you cannot drive for six weeks (this is not necessarily true, check with your insurance company).

With a vaginal birth, you may come out of it unscarred (no tears, not breaks, everything heals just fine). This is obviously better that the section knows. But, then no one really knows how a vaginal birth will go, so you might also tear something, have problems with incontinence/pelvic floor, etc.

I guess I think you should ask yourself if you are willing to accept the unknown or you if really are truly pertrified and can't face it.

If you are absolutely sure you want a section, talk to me before you go in to request it. I can give you some tips on how to persuade the NHS. But, don't let me persuade you. Only ask for this if it is really what you want.

I will be asking for a section after my 20 week scan in a few weeks. But, I have already had two, which makes it a rather obvious choice.

Strix · 19/07/2010 15:41

Lavita, sorry you are feeling down. Do you fancy a coffee in Twickenham/Richmond sometime? Possibly a Saturday afternoon?

And anyone one else who fancies joining us is of course welcome.

How about Sat. 31st of July?

PJen · 19/07/2010 15:58

(TMI notice!!) Thanks all for advices, but to those of you who have had the vaginal birth experience, did you have a normal vagina afterwards or was it a loose hole stretched to be 12 cm?!?! Oh gosh... I am totally panicing!

notso · 19/07/2010 16:02

Afternoon, OWCH, having my brows waxed hurt loads more than normal!

Slightly Congrats on having a girl and the nice scan. Your DD sounds very cute, my DS thinks that we will be able to hear the baby crying to come out through my tummy button!

Pjen sorry you are panicking about the birth. IME it's not bad at all.
I didn't tear either time or need an episotomy, the midwife suggested one with DS but I refused and tried to cross my legs to DH's amusement! Thankfully I was right. I would definately recommend oiling the perinium I usually start about 6 months.
Although giving birth is painful I think it is positive pain as you know why you are hurting.

Poor you Lavitabella, hope the physio can help. I am having my 20 week scan in two weeks, then seeing the consultant two weeks after that then again at 28 weeks, the Midwife told me to make an appointment in between the two consultant appointments.

notso · 19/07/2010 16:07

PJen Just seen your question, I certainly am not the owner of a wizards sleeve but I think I probably am a bit looser, I have done pelvic floor exercises everyday for over 10 years since I was 6 months pg with DD so maybe that has helped.
Sex has got better and better though. HTH

chloesbaby · 19/07/2010 16:08

I may be the wierd one here pjen but I am really looking forward to labour and giving birth! (oh god, you're all going to think I'm a nutter now).
I've never been frightened about giving birth - in fact I remember when I was a teenager asking my Mum why it was supposed to hurt because I couldn't see why it would when our bodies were designed to go through the process.
You might want to buy Ina May Gaskin's guide to childbirth. I got it a few weeks ago and it has really given me confidence that it will all be fine and is full of really inspiring stories as well as practical advice. Of course, I'm aware there can be complications, but pain, tearing, incontinence, etc is not an inevitability - in fact it is probably a lot rarer than most women think, because you tend to hear about the complicated births rather than the straightforward ones.
Bring it on, I say! (and don't remind me of this if / when i end up with an epidural or c-section!)

CherylAnnTweedy · 19/07/2010 16:13

Urgh! Still at hospital. Wtiggly baby is making things. diffixult.

CherylAnnTweedy · 19/07/2010 16:16

Urgh! Still at hospital. Wtiggly baby is making things. diffixult.

Chooster · 19/07/2010 16:20

PJen - as others have said its not that bad - my boys have both been quite big 8lb - ers and I've not torn or been cut. Again not sure if I should be massively proud of that but despite that its all pinged back to normal sizes again! At least thats what DH says (and sex feels the same for me as it did before DS1) . No incontinence either or any side affects really.

If you are terrified of that bit (i.e squeezing it out) then why not think about a mobile epidural. You'll experience the early contractions but then bypass the pain of the latter stages and actual squeezing! And if you do tear then you wont feel it? I know some people dont want an epi because it can lead to a more medical birth (i.e if things slow down) but that wasn't my personal experience and you obviously dont mind about it being a 'medical' experience if considering an section.... Just a thought, but try not to freak out too much! It really is a lovely experience despite the pain

Sorry your in pain lavitabella - hope you get some relief from the symptoms soon!

Mumatron - I've had some mild braxton hicks, nothing too bad but just a tightenting that lasts about 15 - 20 seconds or so.

PJen · 19/07/2010 16:24

Hi Chloe, thanks for the book tip! Lucky lucky you girl- that you are not afraid! Yes I think I need to read some books... That sounds like a wise advice!

Cheryl are you in hospital because of your scan? Is baby in bad position? All the best of luck sweetie...

notso thanks for tips. what oil did you use for perinium? Just vaseline or other oils? I am so adding that and pelvic floor excercises to my routine...

Any other good books on giving birth that would rather get rid of my worries than adding to them?

PJen · 19/07/2010 16:27

chooster I wouldn't get pregnant in the first place if there was no promise of epidural... lol... I absolutely couldn't get my head around getting pregnant until best friend swore that she didn't feel much due to mobile epi... I am so envious of mums who can do it without or think about home birth and I really support their decision but my worst nightmare right now (literally) is that I am not getting epi due to some weird reason and have to do birth without!! I am such a wuss!

chloesbaby · 19/07/2010 16:35

let me know what you think if you get it pjen
it is a little hippyish but i would recommend it to anyone. has anyone else read it?
cheryl - are you at QA? Hope all goes well. Do they tell you the sex at QA (if this is your 20wk scan)? My neighbour was pregnant last year and told me they had a policy around here of not telling the sex. She may of course have just not wanted to tell nosy old me!

notso · 19/07/2010 16:44

PJen I think Mothercare sell specialised Fanjo Oil but I just used Olive or Almond.
You are not a wuss, I was 18 when I got PG with DD and doing a Childcare and Education course, we had to watch a film of a woman giving birth and the whole class was just watching the horrified look on my face especially when she pooed. However I had fantastic Ante-natal classes that helped me to realise that my body was supposed to have a baby and I wasn't scared anymore, and I couldn't tell you if I pooed or not either time!
Definately read lots, I can't recommend anything I just read my course textbooks and the Midwifery ones from the college library.

CherylAnnTweedy · 19/07/2010 17:22

3 hours later and I'm home!!! I will reply to everyone later, PJen, hope you're OK, I'll let you know my experiences later. I'm staaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrving!!!

mumatron · 19/07/2010 18:21

pjen i had both of mine with just gas and air, wasn't a concious decision at first to not have an epi but now i know i dont need one i def. wont be having one this time (unless needed for other reasons of course)

as someone else said, we always hear about the horrific births, with tears etc but i honestly don't know anyone who needed more than a few stitches.

cheryl glad to hear it all went well.

QueenofDreams · 19/07/2010 18:59

Hi ladies
Had midwife appointment today, heard heartbeat so all good. Also got my date through for next scan, so looking forward to that

pjen I didn't have an epidural - got 9lb 8oz DS just fine I did have a tear and some stitching, but I'm happy to report it all seems to have gone back to normal now. Try not to panic about the birth - your body is designed to give birth to babies.
Some women do have physiological problems that make it difficult for them to give birth, but these really are extremely rare.
I was also really worried about the birth before it actually happened. In the end I felt that the birth was nothing to be put off by

jobobpip08 · 19/07/2010 18:59

cheryl glad too that everything is ok.

pjen b..r..e..a..t..h..e..! Its not that bad and its just one day! I've had both an emergency section and a vaginal delivery. Personally I found recovery from the section took a long time, I got a small infection in the wound after a week which may have made a difference? But I also know people who have had a shorter recovery time.

My vaginal birth - I was induced which can be more painful but I did it mostly on gas and air and if the midwife had stopped me at the point of crowning rather than let me carry on I'm sure I wouldn't have torn. She probably thought I wanted to get it over with. The recovery afer this was days, not weeks and weeks as with the section. I am going for a vaginal delivery again this time, although I could have a section in view of my history. Being fit to run around organising Christmas is a factor in this decision!

Both have their own risks to you and the baby, so you need to weigh them both up. And yes, you do get the overhang thing with a section! Vaginal - I would say I am slightly 'roomier' but if anything its made things better. And if I ever pooed I don't remember and everyone was too polite to say anything plus they are used to it! You've got plenty of time to think about it, do your research, knowledge is power.

CherylAnnTweedy · 19/07/2010 20:53

Hi, belly full, lovely bath, ds2 in bed, ds1 is at his friends cadets bbq, won't be home 'til 9.30 .

Baby is all fine, very wriggly little one, wouldn't play the games we needed! I had to go for a wander as the sonographer needed to get better views of the face and heart, so we were there for ages. The only let down is that I apparently have a low lying placenta which is covering the 'exit'. Last time we had a mw sonographer who was lovely and went out of her way to talk to us both and get us good views of baby, however this lady wsn't a mw, was very clinical and abrupt and had a really poor bedside manner. When she told us about the placenta I asked what that meant, and she said I needed a cs. That was it! I tried to almost laugh it off by saying to DP, "Well that buggers up our home birth eh!", she just said, "well it might not, you'll have to wait util you have another scan. I asked what were the chances of it having moved by then and she said she's not a mw, it's just her job to pass the message on! DP asked if it meant any other complications. She was really blunt with him and sadi "Obviously it causes complications with delivery". We didn't get any decent views of baby, and rather than coming out happy that our LO is healthy we're peed off at her attitude and I'm worrying (after googling, probably unneccasarily) about having a cs. I've had 2 natural, quick, pain free births. The last thing I want is a caesarean! Extra scan in October though, and think I might get them to have a little look when I have my private 4d scan in Sept.

On that note, PJen, all I can do I suppose is reassure you that childbirth does not always mean tears, cuts, unbearable pain etc. I wasn't scared of labour and birth with ds1, but was certainly apprehensive. Expecting the worst pain in the world. I wanted th works. I thought there was no way on earth I could get a baby out of me without screaming for an epidural. As it happened, I didn't realise I ws in labour as the contractions weren't painful. I only went into hospital as they were so regular and I was 40+1. As it happened I wsa fully dilated when teh mw did an internal, and she pretty much forced g&a on me even though I didn't feel I needed it. DS2 was much the same, but far quicker. No tears or cuts either time. Are you doing any ante-natal classes? They can be really good for relaxation techniques. I'm convinced that the breathing I learnt is what made my labours the way they were. If you're worried about tears, start doing perineal massage. I use/have used almond oil from holland & barratt, nothing special. Make sure though, may sound obvious, that you speak to your mw, don't hold back with what's worrying you. They're not just there for the medical side of things, they're there for the reassurance too. And don't forget us, and the rest of MN. I wish I'd had something like this with my boys.

Chloe - yes scan was at QA. Hopefully you won't get the same sonographer as I did. (I think she was dragged in as an extra to clear the backlog as they were running quite late) They do tell you the sex if you want, we didn't so we're having a surprise baby. They've only started letting you know the sex sice maternity moved up to QA. At St MAry's you only had a 16wk dating scan ad they even had signs up sayig they wouldn't tell you the sex.

93pjb · 19/07/2010 21:03

pjen i was induced but found gas and air just fine. I had planned a home birth and although that didn't happen I found that the reading I'd done as prep really helped convince me that I'd be able to cope.

I also found reading the nice report on interpartum care very helpful in making decisions. www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/11837/36280/36280.pdf

jobob i have asked the childminder to have dd on the morning of the scan so I can have my mum to myself!

AIBU - dh wants to go on a work trip to china mid nov and I don't want him to go? It's 5 weeks before edd and dd had to be induced at 37 wks with a fair chance of it happening again...

Strix · 19/07/2010 22:19

Cheryl, OMG, what a cow! With DS I had a low lying placenta (though not actually covering the exit) at 20 weeks, so she booked me in for 36 weeks scan. She said it was common for the placenta to attach quite low if youhad had a caesarean already (no idea why!). But, she also went on to explain that it usually moves up and the 36 week scan was not much to worry about, just routine. At 36 it had indeed moved up. Unlike you I was disappointed because I was hoping it would be my excuse for a section, which I got anyway so it didn't matter.

Did she say how much it was covering the exit. I think that plancenta previa comes in degrees, which I suppose probably relate to how much of the exit is being covered.

mumatron · 19/07/2010 22:25

cheryl my placenta was a bit low when i had ds but i was told not decisions would be made until a 2nd scan later in the pg. she sounds like an idiot!

jobobpip08 · 20/07/2010 07:17

cheryl ditto strix what a cow and mumatron idiot! How unhelpful! I have said it before (altho it was about a midwife), why do people who do not have people skills go into medicine? Grrrr it makes me really cross. I also had a low placenta with DS1 and by the time I had a 36 week scan it had moved up and was not a problem.

93pjb good choice . Tricky about DH - will it go against him if he doesn't? How long does he have to go for? Even if its for a week its cutting it fine. YANBU.

GreenGeekGirl · 20/07/2010 07:33

pjen Ina May's Guide to Childbirth was a really good suggestion. You might also find Spiritual Midwifery also by Ina May Gaskin, Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read and The New Experience of Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger helpful. I've actually ordered them all and just hope I've got time to get at least something from each of them before the birth! I've also got Hypnobirthing: the Mongan Method by Maria Mongan and I'm sure the techniques would help you with your anxieties now, not just when push comes to shove, so to speak

Lavitabella · 20/07/2010 07:53

Strix I'm definitely keen for a meet up but am in Cornwall that weekend as one of my best friends is getting married. I'm a bridesmaid!

I am also a bit scared about the birth, I think it's only normal. I'm having a caesarian though, can anyone tell me more about the "overhang"? will I definitely get one? I don't want one