I am dying to tell family, it seems really strange talking to them on the phone and not telling them. But I want to tell them in person, because it's everyone's first grand child, and I want to see the look on their faces! Since we don't live close to any of them, we're going to do it in about 3 weeks (when I will be about 10wks) when, by coincidence, we're going to see all of them in the space of a few days.
Other than that I would like to tell my best friends before 12wks but keep it generally under wraps until after first trimester. My rule of thumb is, if I would feel comfortable telling someone I'd had a m/c then I'd tell them before 12 weeks. For example, I'd probably tell my best friends if I'd had a miscarriage, because I would want the support, so there seems no reason not to tell them I'm pregnant as soon as.
However I do want to tell family first, so we're stuck waiting until 10wks+. I'm trying to persuade boyfriend that we should take a special trip next weekend and drive round the country surprising all the parents in turn, but he's really resistant. Turns out he's really nervous about telling them all. Not that they won't be pleased, but because he thinks he'll get a grilling about where we're going to live, how we're going to manage for money, whether he's going to get a "proper job" (he's self-employed but his parents have always been quite nervous about it) and, the biggie, whether we're going to get married. AFAIC we have answers to all these questions but it turns out he feels he needs 3 more weeks to "get his ducks in a row" on the answers and the thought of bringing it forward is terrifying him. Odd. So I'm deferring to him but DYING to tell people. I've threatened to make him a press pack with model answers to commonly asked questions...!!