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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Our safe haven thread for bereaved mums and anyone who has been affected by the bereavement of a child - whatever age,

985 replies

shabbapinkfrog · 12/01/2010 10:53

The most supportive, loving, loyal thread on Mumsnet - I wouldn't know what to do without all of you x

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 04/03/2010 09:46

light shining for Gregor in Glasgow

shelleylou · 04/03/2010 09:48

That article is fantastic shabs. Shows what an amazing person Vicky is

NinaJane · 04/03/2010 10:32

Hi Peterpansmum,

Thinking of you today....

peterpansmum · 04/03/2010 13:58

Beautiful article Shabs, She sounds like one truly inspirational lady xx

Thanks everyone for your kind words and taking the trouble to remember my wee angel Gregor. Today hasn't been as bad as the last couple of days. I've had no plans and just taken the day as it came so far. Another hour of my own thoughts before i collect ds1 from school. Hugs to you all. xx

Emma04 · 04/03/2010 15:31

Lovely article Shabba, Vicky sounds like such an inspirational lady.

Thinking of you and your little man today PPM.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 04/03/2010 18:42

Thinking of you and your darling Gregor today PPM xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 04/03/2010 18:44

Welcome Sunflowers, thank you for telling us about your daughter

I totally commend you for working on the phoneline. It is something I have thought about but I really don't think I have the mental strength yet.

shabbapinkfrog · 05/03/2010 06:16

Morning girls xx

OP posts:
travellingwilbury · 05/03/2010 07:08

Morning all

Shabs you are up a bit blooming early .

How we all doing ?

shabbapinkfrog · 05/03/2010 07:15

Hiya TW - been having nightmares most of the night - I gave up at 6am!!! I will pay for this lack of sleep later in the day with Lew arrives

OP posts:
travellingwilbury · 05/03/2010 07:16

Oh bugger , is that a usual thing ?

I am sure Lew will let you have a nice relaxing day and be no bother at all

shabbapinkfrog · 05/03/2010 07:31

No its really rare these days - think this week has just been a bit too much to get through - nevermind at least its Friday - and, oh yes, Im sure Lew will play quietly all afternoon he will probably be manic and charging around knowing my luck

OP posts:
travellingwilbury · 05/03/2010 07:38

That is what cbeebies is for Shabs x

I am so sorry about the nightmares , it is bloody horrible when you can't even find solace in sleep . Very tiring too , which always makes things worse x

peterpansmum · 05/03/2010 08:09

Morning everyone. Feeling bit better today xx

travellingwilbury · 05/03/2010 08:10

I am glad you are feeling a wee bit brighter now ppm x

peterpansmum · 05/03/2010 08:12

Hows you today TW?

lottiejenkins · 05/03/2010 08:14

Morning all. Wilf got his green Karate belt yesterday!!!

peterpansmum · 05/03/2010 08:20

Yayyyy well done Wilf xx Morning Lottie xx

travellingwilbury · 05/03/2010 08:31

I am ok thanks ppm , just running off to do the school thing xx

Well done Wilf

hazygirl · 05/03/2010 10:37

ppm glad you okxx
well done wilf ,give him a hug from usx
shabs have you tried lavendar,i cant sleep without it, it works better than sleeping pills on mexxx

shabbapinkfrog · 05/03/2010 10:59

Not tried it Hazy - trouble is the scent of it reminds me of my beloved Nan and that would make me cry ROFL - Im a soddin' basket case to be honest - I'm good at putting a front on but useless in real life

OP posts:
crumpette · 05/03/2010 11:56

Hello

PPM I wasn't able to get to computer yesterday to say I had lit a candle for you and Gregor because vile mother came for a visit (and vile she was, I had to come up with a 'red card' warning every time she said something about L that was upsetting, she got 26 red cards!!) anyway.. I digress..

I lit a candle for you and Gregor yesterday and I was awake for hours last night hoping you were OK. Whatever OK means.

So I am now sending you a giant un-MN hug instead (((here))) x

crumpette · 05/03/2010 12:15

sunflowersintherain thank you for telling us about your daughter. I hope you can continue to post here. I truly admire you for working with TCF- I can imagine it must be really really tough for you sometimes. If it gets too tough, you know that you can stop or even stop for a while and go back when you are ready. It is important that you have some support as well. I know someone who worked for the samaritans for years and just had to stop for a while as it all got too much, she related to the callers so much that she ended up feeling at risk herself, but after a break of a couple of years she went back and continues to do some work for them.

My daughter died in April 09 after she got hyper acute liver failure from a cold/flu virus, had a liver transplant which failed, had a biopsy which led to severe blood loss and brain damage, had another transplant of a new liver which was too big for her body and the wrong blood type and 2 months after that got another cold virus, then pneumonia, then had a cardiac arrest, and died a few days later.. I hate the word virus!!

The thing with TCF is that when I was newly bereaved, it seemed like such an effort having to join and pay etc etc to get access to their website that I never bothered, it was all too much at the time. It's a shame that it felt so blocked off really but I think that is how I stumbled across this thread instead and met all you lovely ladies here!

shabs are you able to have a power-nap before Lewis arrives? or failing that, a double espresso and some chocolate ?

peterpansmum · 05/03/2010 19:39

Awww Crumpette, thank you and yes i'm doing ok today. Sounds like a crap day for you yesterday as well - today any better for you?

I've had a positive day today all in all - really useful counselling appointment this morning followed by a meeting with the chief exec and fundraiser of the Scottish Cot Death Trust - I'm planning a fundraising memorial walk in gregor's memory at the end of march and have raised over £3000 already and that's just the stuff online - we've got loads of paper sponsor forms out as well - it's given me something positive to focus on and get through the days in between the dark days in march!! I totally get what you mean about the word virus {shudder) - Gregor's cause of death was eventually attributed to a virus which totally overwhelmed him. No symptoms, no warning, nothing.

I like your red card system - maybe should employ similar with a certain pair of inlaws if they ever dare to darken my door again - which is not bloody likely!!!

Love you guys - knowing you all care and remember what matters is important to me so consider yourselves well and truly squeezed and hugged!! xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 05/03/2010 20:38

Glad you're feeling a bit more like yourself today PPM. It's like a weight has been lifted the day after an anniv or birthday isn't it? And well done you for raising so much money, I am sure Gregor is very proud of his mummy

I hope your mum's visit hasn't knocked you too much Crumpette.

Virus is also a hated word in this house. I'd be quite happy to never hear the word again tbh.

I hope tonight brings a better nights sleep for you shabs xxx