Our safe haven thread for bereaved mums and anyone who has been affected by the bereavement of a child - whatever age,

[shabbapinkfrog]

The most supportive, loving, loyal thread on Mumsnet - I wouldn't know what to do without all of you x

Again I am searching for the right words, that could help you!. In this country we talk about sex, birth, drugs, politics, sport etc etc BUT the biggest tabboo is to talk about death - especially the death of a child. The vast majority of people dont know what to do and come out with inane, stupid comments. To have lost a loved one to suicide (there, I managed to say the awful word) must break your heart over and over again.

I do firmly believe that if someone takes their own life there is nothing there family could have said or done to prevent it. I worried for many years about my eldest son (28 years old) he lost his twin brother and then 10 years later his beloved little bro was killed by a reversing lorry. I used to watch his every movement and fret about his mental state. But - you know what? if my DS1 had decided to end his life I know, without a doubt, I could not have prevented it. Even though he knows, like I am very sure your son knew, that his Mum loved him.

xxxxx

Hi GetOn, Am so sorry for the loss of your son. Shabs is so right death is such a taboo subject let alone death by suicide. Those who look horrified should thank themselves bloody lucky they have not had to deal with such a loss. Know that there are many here who will not shy away from listening to you if you want to talk and will not judge as you may perceive folks in real life to be doing so. I cannot think of anything to say that will help but I hope my words don't upset you as i couldn't not post. Loving thoughts to you and yours xx

Morning all, have got a busy few days ahead. Tomorrow i am off to London. I have a hospital appointment then i am off to Lambeth Palace for a charity launch!! On Saturday im having a dinner party here for some friends. Braised sausages, mashed potato, carrots and parsnips roasted in honey, and cabbage steamed with nutmeg. Then Queens Pudding for pud!!

Morning girls - sounds like a lovley few days ahead Lottie xx

Thank you for your kind words.

It is a difficult subject to discuss in RL, I can see how uncomfortable it makes people feel and this makes me feel bad for upsetting them.

I have enough guilt - I really don't want any more.

It is good to be able to talk with others without censoring what I say. Thank you, again, for the support.

Morning girls xx

Morning Shabs, have just got ready to go, am so excited, i spoke to Wilf yesterday and he said "See you morrow Mum." He went out with school on an activities day yesterday, apparently he went up the climbing wall in his TA's words "Like a rat up a drainpipe!!"
He also went on a motorbike thing with a helmet safetly on (thank goodness) He told his teacher on his return "Only fell off once!!" I am so proud of him, Only 20 children have been chosen to go to Lambeth Palace today and only the parents of those children are going. I have been allowed to have Antonia with me as I have a hospital appointment today and she comes to those with me! Will report back tonight!!

Have a wonderful day Lottie - sounds like you will

Good morning all x

A big welcome to all the new mums who have joined us here . I am without words at the moment but just know that I have read your stories and I am so sorry x

Hope everyone is ok today .

You ok TW?

Hi Ilike , I am ok (ish) just on a bit of a downer , but I am sure all will be back to an even keel soon . Just a bit fed up that all my blood test came back ok but I still fell bleurgh . I am going to try some various vits and natural stuff so fingers crossed I start to feel more human soon .

How you doing ?

morning all.
I watched some videos that have my brother on youtube last night. It was so weird but lovely seeing him moving, smiling and laughing and hearing that. It was brilliant seeing him on his baby (DTR125). Was put up by his mate who had wrote 'in memory of matt xxxxx'
Matty on blue DTR125 best mate. It had me in tears especially as matt would be going away with them today

Apart from a shitty cold I'm ok thanks love. Have you heard of Floradix? It's an iron and multi vit tonic that I swear by when you're feeling a bit bleurgh (even if your iron level isn't low). The iron isn't synthetic so you body absorbs it better and it's much less likely to give you constipation. You can get it from most health food shops and they also do it in tablet form.

How's your diet? I found upping my fruit and veg intake really helps and cutting out procsessed foods for a while is good too. I feel crap for the first few days (headache, cravings etc) but once I've got past that I feel much much better.

I hope these help but I'm sorry if I am teaching my granny to suck eggs

Shelley - it's nice you can watch your db, even if it is hard.

Thanks Ilike , I haven't heard of that one , I may well give it a try , I have got to do something . I have got to have another test for B12 tomorrow which I have been low with in the past but I am really hoping it is not that as the injections really hurt

My diet is pretty good , probably too much booze , but we don't eat much processed stuff . I think I need to get out and about a bit more and start doing some excercise stuff too which is a bit of a bummer .

I hope your cold gets better soon , it can really get you down after a while .

Well done Shelley for watching your brother . I have got a video with Harry on it and I think I have managed to watch it maybe half a dozen times in the whole 8 yrs . It is always his voice which gets to me .

My brother is only in the background its his mate that is in the forefront but its the last video that they took before my brother was killed. Its his smile that gets me its been the same since he was a toddler. I miss it so much but still cant believe i will never see him do it again. I'm hoping we get some news soon about whether his killer has been bailed again or not. Was due to go tuesday and i dont know the outcome yet.

Hope the test goes well tomorrow TW

Hi all, now home, had a wonderful day!!

Morning girls - glad you had a good day Lottie

Good morning all

Sounds like a fab day Lottie

Hello all, tw I second ilike.. floradix is fab and actually really yummy. You can get it in health food shops but also most boots stores sell it in their vitamin section, comes in a bottle. I hope you find something to help, could you be feeling bleurgh as in pretty low at the moment?

lottie glad you had a nice day

beautiful song

This was played at a SANDS memorial service in London that i went to the year Jack would have been 10.

Morning girls xx

Morning, I left the house to go to tesco's at 8am, with Di (next door) and stopped off at a coffee mornig in Fram which my Mum was helping at. Now home and have to get the kitchen ready so i can cook everything for tonight. I have three lovely friends Wendy, John and Bobby who are coming. Did i tell you Wilf did his own Coffee Morning at school for Haiti? He saw on the news what was happening and decided to organise one himself. Family and friends here sent a total of £78 and he made £187.28 altogether!!

Thankyou for you thoughts and kind words ... DH and I went for a nice lunch which we do every 2nd Feb to remember Catriona (and also every 10th May to remember Andrew)then picked Roisin up from school and we walked with her to the cemetery where she planted a flower for her big sister and said a couple of prayers made up on the spot by Roisin !

Awwww well done that girl Children are amazing - they see black or white not the horrible grey area, in the middle, that adults do!

Morning girls xx