Our safe haven thread for bereaved mums and anyone who has been affected by the bereavement of a child - whatever age,

[shabbapinkfrog]

The most supportive, loving, loyal thread on Mumsnet - I wouldn't know what to do without all of you x

Morning girls.

OMG Hazy good luck...I would find that very hard as well.

Tom has been coughing until he is sick since 3 am - we both came downstairs and he is on the settee with his duvet!

congrats on the tickets shabs..is it proper wrestling or like saturday morning wrestling used to be

hazy.. I know what you are saying I would go to pieces too but is it possible that your sensitivity to those left behind is what makes you perfect for this job??

You might not know what to say but you know what not to say and although the tears might feel wrong at the time (being a professional)
but am sure the family will talk about the lovely nurse who looked after their mum. They will say they cared so much she cried when we lost her

does this make any sense.. it makes more sense in my head

Its the new spin off from the American WWE wrestling - Kurt Angle is wrestling on Friday night????? No - it doesn't mean much to me either! Tom assures me it is 'ace, cool, sick??'

They are having ladder matches ???????? and the event is sold out in Manchester....Think the arena holds at least 10,000 people

kurt angle was the 'all american wrestler' bit of an arse always had something to say to provoke someone

kurt angle

''ace, cool, sick'' shabs that's hilarious

well done for winning!

hazy good luck for tuesday. I think you will be very good at the job but what a sad one it is. AS fm said, you know what not to say. When L died, a couple of nurses on PICU cried. It wasn't bad, it was really touching, and I will always rememver the ones that got emotionally attached because that's 'real' and meaningful. Anyway, best of luck x

ladies, I have a question. I spoke to the lady from the hospital today, the one I used to speak with when L was ill and until her funeral..I called her cos she'd left messages on my phone a few times and I wanted to tell her DS had arrived safely. I asked about a little girl whose mum I got friendly with when L was ill. This little girl was 2, different problem to L's but same treatment, liver transplants.. after L died we texted a couple times but I went awol as was back at work and I wasn't L's mummy anymore Anyway, today I learned that she had died in the autumn.

My question is, is it appropriate for me to text her mum saying im so sorry, just heard the news, if you ever want to talk I am here

or is it inappropriate and insensitive to have heard via the hospital

would she rather I never texted her again..?

I don't know what to do, such a sweet little girl and lovely mum. The family live in Scotland and I'm in London but I don't know, would you text?

crumpette id ring the mum, im sure shed love to hear from you.
thanks girls for help with job, i love my job but on internet looking for a new job,but am going give it a try at least/

thanks hazy, yeah I think maybe texting's a bit distant, maybe I should ring her.. I just wasn't sure if she'd prefer to never hear from me again or if it would upset her

ooer

I can see why you'd want to change jobs, it's not a nice thing to be surrounded by every day. Just be reassured that you'll be great at the job and won't offend anyone by crying, but you know, try not to take it home with you x

crumpette , I would ring too , I am sure she would love to hear from you . It would probably do you both some good to reconnect .

Hazy , I really feel for you , I have been thinking about doing some palliative care work but atm I am just mulling it over . To just be expected to change roles like that sounds a bit harsh . Don't they have to give you some choice over this ?

Shabs , the tickets sound fab , I hope Tom is better for then x

Hello all xxx

Hello everyone xx

Crumpette, You are and always will be Lucia's mummy. Re your question... I'd call the mum. And I don't think you've got anything to lose. If she doesn't want to talk then she can make her excuses and get off the phone (or not answer) How can she feel any worse from a phone call than she feels - the worst thing of all has happened to her. she may be glad of a chat xx

Hiya Hazy, Difficult one. I agree with the others you probably do have the skills and compassion for the new role however whether it's for you or not i guess you're not going to know until you've tried. No harm in looking for another job but in the meantime though.

nice one Shabs, sounds like it'll be a fun night on friday xx

I'm counting down the hours til i can go to bed today... had a group of friends round last night and it was a bit of a late one!!

Hi there TW, you alright? You've been quiet of late - not that I can talk, there don't seem to be enough hours in the day at the mo.

Crumpette - call her. If the roles were reversed would you appreciate the call or be pissed off? I'm sure you'd appreciate the call from someone who's going through it too.

Hazy - you would be a good candidate to work in palliative care, however you have to do what is best for you. Sometimes you have to look out for number one.

Woohoo Shabs. Enjoy the wrestling. It'll be a bit different from Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks

Hiya girls.

My friend, Chelle, told her 8 year old son tonight what we are doing tomorrow - he has been singing, dancing and having a small cry because he is so happy

Good morning all xx

I Like thanks for asking , I am feeling a bit wobbly , getting blood test results today and feeling a bit nervous about them . Just been feeling not right for months now so I am hoping they show something but at the same time want them to come back normal

How we all doing this morning ?

I have got my birthday on Sunday and a house full all weekend and on top of that I am supposed to be working . I have had a stinky cough all week so I am really tempted to pohone in sick . I wouldn't normally but I know the weekend will be hectic and it would be so nice to not have to worry about stupid work

Good morning girls xx

Morning TW xx

Morning girls - everyone ok?

Hi there Shabs.

All ok here thanks ta.

How are you doing TW? I hope all is ok with you.

Thanks for all your advice. I tried ringing but phone was off, so may not be her number anymore. I then sent a text.. gave my email etc rambled a bit and told her to get in touch anytime if she ever wants to. Unlikely that she will but I think it's better that she knows she can iyswim. Made me so to hear about that darling little girl, she went through so much at the same time as L but I really thought she'd make it

hmm

hope you're having fun at the wrestling today shabs

took baby to clinic the other day (he is now officially rather fat) and had the comment 'this is your first isn't it?' from a mum with a 2yo and a 7wk old. I said, er, no.. she said 'how old is your other child?' so I had to say, er, she should be almost 2 but she died last year..... so awkward, she just said 'oh well at least you've got another one'
Anyway, I suppose I'm going to have to get used to answering that question now he is here need to rehearse my answer!

tw hope the results were OK

Good morning all , I have got a bit of a bad head , good night was had by all xx

Morning girls - we have snow again!!

morning girls, its trying to snow here too shabs.
DS has just made me stumble. He asked when db would wake up so had to explain he wouldnt etc again. He then wanted to look at Matt's book and photos of him. I've got Matt's card from when ds was christened as he was his godfather. DS wanted me to read it out and i just cried. Matt was so happy i asked him to be ds's godfather. Can see him at the christening with his signiture smile.

I dont have enough hours in the day at the mo but I am still lurking and thinking of you all

I have also just found this poor mum's post.. have invited her to join us

but sounds like she could use some re-asurance

another poor bereaved mummy

Hello all,

feeling eversoslightlystressed (in fact I may actually snap in half!).

Taking DS2 to GOSH tommorow for MRI. Not for anything sinister, they want to look at his brain for any damage. He has learing difficulties and auditory processing disorder.

But due to my inability to cope with anything remotely medical I am bearly holding it together . The hosptial has upset me by calling me on Friday afternoon and asking me to bring proof that I am his real mother! He is adopted and they saw something in his notes from over five years ago calling me his foster carer.

I know I should tell them to sod off but I am so not at my best when faced with a hosptial ward and and a big scanning machine.

So having a moan (have done so already on a couple of threads - just call me needyche!). But thought I would pop in and whinge a bit more on this lovely thread.

X

I found a picture tonight of my darling twin boys - my friend Chelle has scanned it for me and Im putting it on my profile. I never, ever realised how poorly Gareth was but this picture shows it so clearly. Have had to face my fears xx

Morning girls xx