Our safe haven thread for bereaved mums and anyone who has been affected by the bereavement of a child - whatever age,

[shabbapinkfrog]

The most supportive, loving, loyal thread on Mumsnet - I wouldn't know what to do without all of you x

Deffo proof Shabs. Dont let anyone tell you different!

How else can you explain me finding butterflies all over the place? Or how DS3 had glitter in his hair nearly everyday from the day he was born till he was months old?

Billie thats how!

I hope you can get some sleep tonight. You sound like you could do with a rest x

I am totally knackered love....not sleeping well and always up by about 6am. Life seems so hard at the moment - emotionally, physically and monetary - I will get there somehow - wherever the hell there is xxx

When are you due Che? Have you found out if pink or blue? xxxx

yes i do shabs. The coincidences are huge my db's names with your sons' the ages are the opposite way round though. My matts older than my gaz. Our matt's birthdays are quite strange too. I bet they have my matt will be introducing your boys to the joys of jack daniels and coke. Matt would sobre up then go for a burn on his YZF-RI, his dream bike i got to send with him

i think that was on my thread in bereavement though.

Im still trying to work out whether this song is my grandad telling me that Matts with him and he's looking after him or Matt telling me what he thought of me

I bet there is a lot of 'finger pulling and farting going on' - Im sorry I downloaded on you girls but I feel better for putting my strange thoughts and fears down......thank you xxx

Forgive my stupidity - did you find out what the song was called Shelley - what year was it from? I have been given the song 'How deep is your love' - Bee Gees, several times over the last few weeks...it had no connection between me and my lads and then I listened to the words.... and realised that every word is true!

no need to apologise shabs. yes i bet there is think matt would have taught ds that trick saying that think he did try it once

I know the song just dont know who sang it at the time. Its seasons in the sun was realised in the early 70's as thats when my grandad died.

I thought it might be grandad telling me that my name has a connection to my mum

Amazing song

Terry Jacks sang it - 1974 - I was 18 when it was number 1 - the words are amazing!

thats the verson. It ties in im sure my grandad died that year. I know my eldest sister was young and my mum was younger than i am when she lost her dad. The lyrics are amazing. The one verse is me and matt. Sitting here crying over it 'wish we could both be there'

This is Terry Jacks other number 1

that is the version then i had to do the maths then with mums age lol so you saying you were 18 helped. I knew it was number 1. Thanks

Good night girls - see you all in the morning and thank you xx

Morning girls xx

Good morning everyone xx

Shabs how you doing this morning ?

Verrrrrrry tired!!! but not bad thank you xxx

I am glad you are a bit better today , it is bloody horrible when one of those thoughts sticks in your head and refuses to budge .

And just for the record . You DID NOT let him down , you did what every mum does and that is to start giving our children a bit of freedom , we do it from the minute we let them walk without holding our hand .

morning all. how are you TW?

Hi Shelley , I am not too bad thanks , going to docs this morning , I am going to ask them to check my hormone levels , I have felt "not me" for months now . It is weird this is the first time in over 8 yrs that I have felt down and weird and it hasn't been about Harry .

How you doing ?

Hi Ladies,

I've been lurking but not up to posting for a while. This pg is going ok, I'm 20+ weeks and now know I am expecting another girl which we are chuffed to bits with. However a part of me is holding back, not willing to admit that this baby will be a live baby and I feel quite rediculous making plans for once baby is here as I made similar plans last year to no avail. Externally I am keeping positive but I find the contradiction exhausting.

The headstone on Niamh's shared grave went up just before xmas and we went to see it on boxing day. There was a dedication ceremony but we didn't go as it was v churchy and its not our bag at all.

DH has just had the firs anniversary of his dad's death and things are still pretty raw there.

DD is our life line but DH finds her chatter about all our losses in her short life hard to cope with (both his parents, a close cousin and Niamh). I am desperately trying to reassure her that we will be bringing this baby home etc but it is hard when I struggle to believe it myself.

Sorry - that was long and indulgent.

I rarely have anything wise to add to everyone's ups and downs but I do follow your stories and wish you all well xx

It is strange was bound to happen at some stage i would have thought. Hope it goes well at the doctors.

I'm not too bad thanks might have a lie down for a little while after ive taken ds to preschool, im shattered.

Well....got Tom up...dressed...walked part of the way with him to get a newspaper...then walked all the way home with him...undressed, PJ's back on...back to bed!!!! Says he feels sick and he has got a cold Im not sure at all - mind you, he hasn't eaten anything and that is verrrrry unusual. Just checked on him and he has gone fast asleep!

i hope tom ok,i worked with new girl on sunday and ate a bag,of revels and puked up everywhere ,got home dd2 still in bed as been up all night been sick,so lots of germs about,yuk.
shabs you didnt let your son down,i hope you are feeling better ,i know when thoughts get into your head its so hard to let them out again,big hugs my love.