The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

Everlong - Thinking of you today xxxx

Yesterday was so uplifting. Around 18 adults and at least the same number of children turned out on possibly the wettest day of the year so far to plant daffodils in Gregor's memory in a local wood. It felt quite therapeutic and the shared love felt for our wee boy was immense. I did have my doubts yesterday but am so glad we went ahead. We're all looking forward to seeing the fruits of our labour in the springtime. I think yesterday was the first time in 8 months i could truly say i have looked forward to something.

everlong a candle is lit here in dark, wet and windy Glasgow for Oliver

Peterpan how did you get soo many people involved - thats lovely

One of my colleagues little girl would have been 22 today. She is very private about it ..she was soo pleased that I remembered

Hiya FM, I was totally shocked at how keen people were to help considering i only floated the idea on Monday and mentioned it to a few friends!! When we saw the forecast - we're further north than you are - i nearly called it off but my head was already there so i decided to go ahead regardless. As one of my friends said to me - a morning in the rain for them and their kids is nothing in comparison to what we've been going through the last 8 months and will continue to go through. Several others who have found out what we were up to want to go and plant some more. Makes me realise how much of an impact my darling little cutie had on everyone he met .

how are you doing - have you managed to avoid the floods down there?!

glad the daffodil planting went well ppm. just lighting a candle for you everlong.

DB is home i have my ncklace but still cant believe its real. I should have my db not his ashes around my neck

PPM how amazing-Im so thrilled for you xxxxx

ooh peter I have been the token scot on here up till now... glad there will be another light shining in scotland for our little ones...where abouts are you if you dont mind me asking.. if you dont want to say thats ok.. I like having privacy on line too.

Glasgow area has got off lightly with the weather I reckon.. wet and windy but not enough for damage touch wood

shelley I know that feeling .. I should have Fraser not a lock of hair and some hand and foot prints. have a {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}

Morning girls xx

Thanks frasers. we most certainly should. Kind of verbalised (msn'd) to my other brother how i am. I've been keeping it from him especially as i should be there for him. A month on and it still feels like im going to wake up from this nightmare.

how is everyone this morning?

All OK here in Lancashire Shelley xx

I must not go back onto the Troll MN thread
I must not go back onto the Troll MN thread
I must not go back onto the Troll MN thread

Thats cheated you copied and pasted that lol. Is it all kicking of shabs?

They are still harping on about Dizzymare and if she was a troll or not. I speak to her every day on Facebook and, to be honest, don't think she is at all. Her emotions are so raw and it is clear how depressed she is. I just had my say and now I have to walk away from it because I dont want to go on effing and blinding!!!

Think thats going to be ongoing for a while. I did read bits of some of her threads. I read what had happened then hadnt been about for a little while, when i came back Dizzy was gone and troll hunters were on the case. You'll go back to check what people are saying now

LOL I have gone back and lurked since I posted on here that I was leaving it

MNHQ asked Dizzy to verify some details and she refused to - part of me doesn't blame her at all. I talked to her the other day and asked if she felt ready to give the answers they were after and she said she felt too scared to come back on here. Its a shame really because before the shouts of troll started she was getting good advice and emotional support on MN.

I thought you might. I usually do that too lol.

I surpose it depends on what details she was aked to verify. If it was very sensitive info then i wouldnt blame her either but if its a general enquiry people may well get more susipiciuos. I have no idea what they were so that could be completely irrelevant. If DM is genuine then the timing of the questioning was awful. I dont have an opinion to whether she was a troll or not. As i said didnt read all the thread and i was in RL when she left.

I havent seen any of the previous threads .. will need to go have a search but I am horrifed to think that a bereaved mum has been chased off the board as a "troll" wtf??

We all know its soo bloody hard to find support ....

I hope this gets sorted out...cos we dont want others scared to postand say they have lost their darling child

After all if feedmenow hadnt been brave enough to post about Eris then none of us would have each other

fmn if you are lurking ... I think this lovely ongoing thread is Eris' legacy.. though I am sure you wish she had made more of a mark on the world .

Very true words FM - if you click onto my profile it will have the thread I am talking about on there. I have no reason to think that Dizzymare is lying - I talk to her daily and she just couldn't keep this pretence up all this time if she was fibbing. I will keep trying to support her for as long as she needs me to.

I often think about Eris and FMN - I can remember when she started the first thread off and I was nervous about talking about my sons for a while and then it all just 'gelled' and our thread has become my haven xxxx

PPM my heart is breaking for you buying birthday cards but so pleased the dafodil planting went well. I can imagine the woods will look beautiful

Things are hard here - I really want another baby. I know it wont replace F but I feel almost desperate about it. I know that trying keeps my mind focussed and I don't think that is a good thing because finding out I am not pregnant leaves me with such a crushing sense of disappointment.

DH is looking for a job but no luck yet - if he doesn't find anything in the next couple of weeks we will have to come back to UK and I will have to go back to my old job (I know I should be grateful I have one) but that means deffo no baby

Shabs you're doing well to stay away from the thread - there is no point people will believe what they want even in the face of overwhelming evidence. I am so glad that DM is getting support from you.

Anyway on a lighter note Dee's comment got me thinking - what does everyone want for Christmas?

Morning everyone!!

I totally know where you're at TBM - We'd been ttc for months before Gregor died and have been since but nothing happening. Am guessing the amount of stress and red wine I've been dealing with isn't helping. I hope the job situation sorts itself out soon, the not knowing what's happening must be taking its toll on you guys xx The daffodil planting was lovely... met a few friends last night and they were saying the same.

Santa's arriving at our local garden centre today and as much as i'd love to take DS1 just don't know if i can go there. Too many memories from last year. Then i feel guilty thinking if gregor was still here we'd be going.... arghhhh! Anything to do with christmas is filling me with dread at the moment. What do i want for christmas... for it to be over!

So how long has this thread been going then? I do know what you mean Shabs about being nervous about posting about your sons - i read all your posts for a while but it was only once i started posting that i realised just what support there is from a group of people i'll never meet but are often in my daily thoughts just to feel that whatever i'm feeling is normal is helping me get throught the days.

Have still been seeing the counsellor and although i went with an open mind i didn't really think it'd be much use - but i have to say i think she is helping me. My relationship with my mum is getting easier.

Your comment made me chuckle FM token scot indeed - we get everywhere!! I'm in a small village in Perthshire, north of dunblane and south of perth xx

Morning girls. xxxx

Its xmas here girls

Our xmas lights were switched on complete with brass band, santa, fireworks and man made snow

we all came home cold and wet so we got dry clothes on and cuddled up in front of the fire with hot chocolate

Someone asked earlier how long we have been here supporting each other. I dont know exactly but I do know that Fraser's thread ran over xmas and new year last year and that was thread no 3 so it must be about a year and a half since fmn brought us all together. And 12 months since we had to email mnhq and demand the re-instatment of shabster after she got herself banned through no fault of her own

Oooh FM that sounds lovely - Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas here in the heat. Hot choc and snow make me !!

What did shabster (not) do to get banned? I am intrigued!

Sorry I have been a bit awol. DH was trying to make my laptop connection faster but actually managed to stop it from working! Bess him for trying and getting there in the end

That sounds lovely FM. The image of hot choc and a fire sounds just grand.

TBM - I am still keeping my fingers crossed that your dh will find a job. Things will work out right in the end, have faith. Even if you come back, you will find a way to have another baby if that is what you choose to do. There is always a way xxx

PMSL FrasersMammy - really PMSL.

I dared to argue with the few arrogant MN women who think they run the show. They were saying how pathetic people were who lit candles for people who had died who they didnt know. Well, as you can imagine I almost lost my mind with temper. If I remember rightly some of the girls off this thread were very newly bereaved and were subject to the nobheads posters sarcasm. I involved another 'much respected ' MNetter who wasn't around to defend herself....within a few hours I had been banned PMSL - and the ban lasted a full weekend.

Think that might be my claim to fame...thing is...I would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant defending my friends. xx