The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

Good luck, TW - you'll need it.

Mine's almost done! Is it really bad that i could cry over what DP said he's getting me... a bluetooth handsfree set for the car Not that i'm ungrateful... but well... i'd expeced something a bit more... personal... yunno? But it's a bargain with £40 off I just want to be spoilt - and that makes me sound like i am spoilt

Hope everyone has a good day xxx

I wouls be a bit about that too . I think men just think aboiut what you actually need sometimes rather than stuff you want just because it is shiny

No idea what I am going to get dh . He , like most men is officially rubbish to buy for .

The blue tooth headset is on a par with the electric toothbrush dh got me last year

He even knew it was a shit present and felt quite sheepish when he handed it over. It's not like him either as he normally buys good presents.

Good luck with the shopping TW

Hello everyone, how are you all? xx how did the christmas shopping go TW?

I'm still really struggling. Being back at work is really exhausting me. We're heading out tomorrow morning with friends to go and plant loads of daffodil bulbs in a local wood where i often walk. Daffodils will always remind me of Gregor. Little blond heads bobbing around in the wind! They should be flowering by his birthday and anniversary in march.

we passed the 8 month milestone on sunday and monday was gregor's best friend's 3rd birthday. Going out and buying that particular birthday card ripped me apart.

Oh sweetheart I can hear your sadness in your words. I know it must have been so difficult to buy that card - BUT YOU DID IT!! and well done you,

Sunflowers always remind me of my boys.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i organised my parents christmas present today, getting them a gift voucher for some portraits. Mum wants more photos of us so seamed fitting. Dreading tomorrow hit the month mark.

Planting the daffodils is a lovely idea ppm

Hiya shelley - time seems to stand still at first, then it races ahead, then it walks very slowly.

I have a frame with four pictures of my sons when they were all 'brand new.' Lew saw it today and wanted to hold it. He pointed to each baby. I told him....'thats your Daddy, thats Uncle Gareth, thats Uncle Matt and thats Uncle Tom.' I said 'What are they?' he chirps up 'Awwww Babies' he kissed all of them. Then he noticed Gareths feeding tube up his nose held on with a piece of white tape.

He studied it for quite a few minutes then said 'Awwwww snotty!!!' Uncle Gareth got an extra kiss. It was sad but very funny all at the same time.

He wanted to take the picture home but they are the only copies I have left and the negatives dissapeared a long time ago. I promised him he can look at them again tomorrow.

Awww thats really sweet of Lew. It is sad but funny. If you can scan th pictures onto your computer you could reprint them on photo paper. Can turn out really good.
DS was looking at photos earlier, @mummy' 'grandma' 'grandad' 'gaz' 'ds and matt' 'MATT'

Think I will get our Dan to scan the photo's for me - I would like to put my four sons, my nephew and Lewis all in one big frame. I love looking at the massive similarities between all of them. The same little 'elf' faces, the same beautiful eyes, the same gingery strawberry blonde hair. Im so proud of my sons and grandson - can you tell

Thats a great idea to have them all together. All the photos ive got of Matt are printed on a home computer and printer. You should be proud of your sons and grandson

Thank you Shelley - Im so proud of them and how they are progressing through their lives. When I think about our Dan it makes me want to cry. Bereaved of his twin brother and his much loved little bro. I dont know how he has turned out so level headed and compassionate. He is just a fantastic Daddy. He has a wonderful DP. Im a lucky Mam in loads of ways - just wish I could have a peep at Gareth and Matt to find out how they are doing

Way he was brought up and experiences shaping him,. You should be proud. I bet they are fine and showing my Matt the ropes making sure he knows anything my grandad's and great grandad cant tell him x

What a brilliant picture that has painted in my mind Shelley At the end of December my Gareth will be 28.....I hope my sons and your Matt go on the piss drink wherever they are. I then really, really hope they put my Gareth in a shopping trolley and run home with him

If my matt has had his way they will probably have already been on the drink!! Not if hes riding though lol. Im sure they will

Morning girls xx

Good morning everyone , I actually managed to get quite a bit yesterday , back to it this morning .
I like having most of the shopping done before Harrys anniversary , If I wait till afterwards it might never happen

OMG I hate being on benefits - my DH and myself worked for over 60 years between us but DH had a bad accident at work a few years ago and now we 'survive' on benefits. Have been sat here since 6am trying to juggle our bank account online.

Cant even think about Christmas till next 'payday' - have racked my brains trying to think of what to do.

Right....head up...smile painted on...positive thinking!!!

I know what you mean TW about having to get your shopping done before a significant date like you have coming up....it was many, many years before I could send Christmas cards or even get mildly excited after the boys died.

Im sure its Everlongs DS's remember day tomorrow. xx

Morning ladies.

I have just looked at the lsit and it's Oliver's birthday tomorrow.

Shabbs, I hate being skint too , we have taken some money out on the c card to pay for christmas which is not the best idea but until I join the grown up world and work during the week then we have little choice .
That is one of the other reasons for doing all the shopping now , if I leave it in the bank it will dissapear on boring extras like food

I think you are right about Olivers day being tomorrow xx

Big hugs to you Everlong if you are round and about xx

Morning everyone, thanks shabs and shelley - Daffodils are very Gregor!! And yes you're right Shabs I know I achieved something by buying that card but the significance was so overwhelming. I've bought numerous birthday cards since Gregor died but none had the effect on me that one did. His mum is one of my closest friends and has been so supportive since Gregor died so we had a good cry together on monday then got on with the cake and candles

The rain is throwing it down here this morning but my head is psyched up for planting the bulbs today so we're heading out around 9.30. look out for the drowned rats!!!!!

Moveit - yes, you are right it is Oli's birthday tomorrow - not his remember day. I think it is his 22nd.

Right one grovelling (but successful) call to Virgin media done only about another 3 problems to sort out

I think its a great idea, good way to feel Gregor around you.

I'm hoping that Matt will be in his new home tomorrow. So teary today

Everlong it seems like it only happened a few weeks ago and I bet for you it feels like it was yesterday.

Will be lighting a candle and raising a glass to Oli tomorrow xxx