Fraser's thread for bereaved mummies: Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal - Love leaves a memory no-one can steal

[frasersmummy]

Hello my good friends

Its lovely to be asked to set up our new support tread especially as we head towards our first festive season supporting each other.

I hope Frasers part of the journey is as smooth as Eris, Jack and Matt&Gareths

Thanks Everlong.....think they will be having a long party and causing bother - certainly hope so.

Today is a celebration - not a sad day - we didn't find out the massive extent of Gareths problems until New Years Eve.

So today I celebrate my beautiful twin sons....I remember the difficult journey they had to get here -(I had them 'normally!!!!') Danny came head first and Gareth feet first - ouch!!!

I smile to think I have two adult sons who turned my life around and made me a better person - today 27 years ago.

Sagapo my sons - (Greek for I love you)

A candle is being lit here for Gareth - Happy Birthday to your boys Shabs. xxx

Thank you Lighthouse - this is the first time you lovely ladies have lit candles for my boys - it is a wonderful feeling......just seems so respectful and has made me smile - thank you girls xxx

Hello all.......... we are home! Am thinking of you Shabs xx Will fill you in slowly........the time i lost him in the park......the time there was a fire scare and we were evacuated from the hotel at 12.30 am and the time he got himself locked in the toilet and had to kick the door open, that along with all the rollercoasters.....
www.rcdb.com/id1444.htm
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twilight_Zone_Tower_of_Terror

All sounds fab to me Lottie!!! xxxxx

hahaha welcomed home lottie sounds like you have lots of stories to cheer us all up ..

look forward to hearing them

shabster a candle is shining here in Glasgow.. happy birthday to your darling boys ..

Hi Shabs , a candle is lit here in Sussex for Gareth xxx

Happy birthday to your two boys xx

Sorry I haven't got on over the festivities , I have had people here pretty much constantly and my neighbours wife decided to leave him on Christmas day so a fun time had by all

I hope everyone is doing ok (ish)

Lottie that sounds like a trip and a half

parks.disneylandparis.co.uk/walt-disney-studios-park/lots/backlot/attractions/rocknroller.xhtml

two candles lit here,sorry late but i worked this morning and am due back at work in a bit,shabs big hugs to one hell of an amazing ladyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Happy Birthday to your darling boys Shabs. A candle is lit here for Gareth.

I'm glad you can see today as a celebration. It was the day you met your beautiful boys.

Tell you what girls - the candle lighting for each other is so fantastic. Never realised before today how supportive it feels - it has made me grin from ear to ear. Thank you so very much xxxxx

A quick hijack ladies, I hope you don't mind, as for some reason I have had Feedmenow on my mind - we were on a pg after m/c thread together last year and was wondering how she was getting on, then I saw her last post

Just wanted to let you know, FMN, that I'm thinking of you and your precious angel Eris, and the rest of the family. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time of it, I'm not surprised you are feeling so sad and scared. I shall remember you in my thoughts and hope that your pgcy continues to progress well.

To all you other mummies who have lost your loved one my thoughts are with you as well, I wish you a peaceful new year.

Shabs

Happy Birthday to your most precious twin boys. Have been thinking of you all day.

A candle has been lit here in Sheffield for Gareth. Hope the day was a celebration for Danny and Lewis, he is a light of hope for the future.

Hope Danny is okay and love to you and your DH.

You are in my prayers. Good night. God bless love CM xx

Thank you Charley - thank you girls you have made me smile and that is wonderful. I feel like running a million miles away BUT I will hang around and sort things out xxxxxxx

Morning my loves xx

morning everyone

Have put a couple of pics on from hols.....rest are waiting to be developed. I havent got a digital camera!

I've got one Lottie and I have no idea, whatsoever, of how to use it - my sons think I am mentally ill no thoughts as to where they got that idea from.

Decided to become me again and change my name back to my comfy original one xx

Evening all. I'm pleased to say we've made it through Christmas and I am starting to feel a little better now emotionally. Although Christmas really sucked - will it be like that every year or does it get easier? To me it is such a family time that I feel that it will always be a really harsh reminder of what is missing.

Anyway, I haven't read all the posts from all the weeks I've missed so I will trust you all to update me on anything vitally important please!

I hope everyone is well and that you were all suitably festive over the festive period? Anyone with any big plans for New Year? Lottie, you must be off getting sloshed somewhere surely? And Shabs, you'll be having a few (bottles) won't you?

Oh Shabs, I've just had a quick scroll and seen that I missed the twins birthday. So sorry my lovely. xx But I bet Dan loved his first birthday as a daddy?

hi fmn glad to see you back .. we have missed you

the first couple of years I thought xmas was just plain horrid .. very sad

This year I thought hiding all his pressies, writing a letter to santa, visiting santa etc made it really magical...and of course xmas morning was fab. Unfortunately this happiness comes with a great sadness that Fraser is missing

Its this complete opposition of emotions that I find really hard to cope with .. its like being on really huge emotional roller coaster

big hugs girls to the only people that realy understand ,december is the worse month here ever ,i cant even vent as noone understands yes its two bloody years and all think it should be ok,i want to scream ,rant shout his name out,felt alinated xmas day as i was selfish cos didnt want to spend with outlaws,not big fans of me ,they said it could be fil last christmas,yet dont seem to care that our little man never had a first christmas or a last.
it hurts so much ,my head feels crap and i feel so bloody miserable,the only good thing is work and that seems awful,

FMNow - soooooooooooooo glad to see you here. Personally it has gone easier for me but many years have passed. Danny had a good birthday and I actually celebrated the fact that 27 years ago I met my boys for the first time. We got the bad news about Gareth on New Years Eve so that is always a weird time for me.

It does go 'easier' but it is emotionally hard work for years.

Hazy - certainly know what you mean my love. Stay here and rant as much as you want

Good morning all ,
fmn christmas has got easier for me now but I will always have those "moments" during the day when I sit and think of Harry and what should be happening (basically even more mayhem than I have ) and as upsetting as the moments are I wouldn't be without them now .

Hazy I found the outlaws the biggest pains in the neck , I can remember going to my fil 80th with the whole family and all the grandchildren and being close to tears all day and the only person to say anything was my 80yr old fil . Everyone else looked the other way when they saw the tears and I could have slapped the lot of them . They just don't seem to get that its when the whole family are all together that the hole left looks its biggest (hope that makes sense)

Only a few more days and we can all get back to normal (whatever that is )

xxx

Good morning girls xx

TW - can so identify with your thoughts.