Fraser's thread for bereaved mummies: Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal - Love leaves a memory no-one can steal

[frasersmummy]

Hello my good friends

Its lovely to be asked to set up our new support tread especially as we head towards our first festive season supporting each other.

I hope Frasers part of the journey is as smooth as Eris, Jack and Matt&Gareths

A candle is still burning here in Sussex too cm , I hope you have managed to have a few smiles remembering good times today .

Thanks Hazy, Shabs and TW, it went really well, DCs stole the show melted hearts all round, lots of rellys told me Nana lived for them. Halfway through DD started crying an asked me to get Nana out of the box but we had a big hug and she was okay. She called it "Nanas going in a box party"

Held it together and managed the reading without breaking down. Vicar had given me a prep talk prior to service so I manned up and got on with it and did for my Nana.

Your story is lovely TW I am sure Harry is sending you a message.

Lovely wilf story lottie.

Take care all, night night god bless.

I love that line 'Nanas going in a box party' that is a true classic! Im so glad it went well CM xxx

evening all

I have been lurking a bit partly due to this flu just not shifting at all and partly due to my pc playing up

however both seem to be getting on the right road now

cm sorry about your nan..glad the funeral went ok

hope you are all ok tonight

Good morning girls xx

Hi Ladies. long time no see. I have had a horrible virus and been feeling pretty crappy, but I'm feeling fine now.

CM - sorry I missed Friday, but I did laugh about the box party. You can always rely on kids

TW - Cole visits me in dreams too. Not very often, but when I wake up after them I feel really happy. I'm glad it's the same for you.

I hope we've all had good weekend. Take care xxx

Hi all. I still have Mr Wilf at home as we are off to the hospital in London tomorrow to meet the new family support worker! We are returning on a commuter trainhmm I must need my head read methinks.... Last time we used this train i fell out with a total oaf who wouldnt move from near the toilet door to let me in when i felt ill. I soon put him in his place by calling him a "tosser" very loudly so the whole passageway heard me!!! grin

that should read and

Hello ladies,
I'm popping in again (I was last here a few months a go) to ask for some advice.
Some of you may remember that my friend had a stillborn DD in August and I decided to name a star after her? Well, she was due in December and I'd love to do something Christmas related. I was thinking of ordering a Christmas tree decoration with her DDs name on it. Do you think this would be appropriate?
Sending each and everyone of you so much strength. I can't begin to imagine how hard everyday is for all of you.
Lots and lots of love xxxxxxxxx

I think that the decoration is a lovely idea! It is so important for people to remember the little ones even though they arent with us any more. My son Jacks birthday is the 22nd December, he would have been 14 this year. I see all the children his age and still find it hard. One of the 14 year old boys(another Jack) won two awards at the cricket club dinner last weekend and that got me thinking about which sports Jack would have liked which football team etc. Im sure people think i have got over it because i dont mention him much but i always remember, particularly as i said my niece was 14 last month and my godson is 14 in January.

Thanks Lottie. I'd hate my friend to think that I wasn't thinking of her DD. I try to mention her everytime we speak. Christmas must be such a difficult time for you. Am thinking of you and your Jack. xxx

sparkly

what a lovely friend you are.. I am sure you friend will be delighted to have this decoration for her tree

There wont be many people who will have the courage to mention her dd this xmas. In the years to come she will always reember that you thought of her and her dd

Great idea - fmammy is right - I still remember the neighbours who brought us food and, more importantly, checked we had eaten it

Your friend will probably cry...it does not mean that you have done the wrong thing...it just means you have touched her heart. xxx

Morning girls.

Lighting my candles for Jaydens 'remember day' Hazy. May I wish you and your family peace and love today. Holding you in my thoughts. xxxx

Morning all.

Another one here lighting a candle for Jayden today. I'll be thinking of you, your family and Jayden today.

Take care Hazy family xxx

A candle is burning here in Sussex for Jayden .

Sending you love and strength for today
xx

Morning Hazy, candle lit for Jayden and your family; thinking of you today. Much love CM

thanks girls thats lovely of you all to remember,its freezing here been to cemetry and everything frozen solidxxdd and her dp are going later.

hi hazy

a candle is shining here in Glasgow for little jayden

we do make a lovely circle of light for our angels dont we??

its the first day of advent .. cant believe it - we have a home made advent calendar with xmas activities to do each day and we started today with putting up advent calendars and singing a xmas song

this is the first year Ross has really been excited about xmas and its such a mixed bag of emotions.. happily caught up in his excitment and looking forward to xmas morning

but I have a real sadness in my heart too.. seems wrong to be happy and excited when my first little boy is not here to join in

anyway deep breaths.. big smile .. and repeat I can do xmas , I can do xmas I can do xmas

i know sometimes its so hard to celebrate without our angels .i always loved advent calendars but the night jayden died id been to my dd to drop advent calendars off and opened the 1st doors with the girls ,played with jayden,then went to meet friends for a drink,came home and dd phoned to tell us he couldnt wake jayden up ,god our whole life changed 3 hours later.
i find it hard buying them calendars now,but do it for the girls still

I am with you on the calendars Hazy , I think it took me 5 yrs to throw Harrys calendar out , he too had only had the one choc out of it . I do buy them now for the boys but I am always glad to see the first few days gone .

You can do christmas fm , it is hard but I always try and think I want to give my boys the happy christmas that I would be giving Harry if I could .

Hiya girls. Christmas is hard BUT we, thankfully, have children who need us to put our smiles on and make it as good as possible for them.

Hazy - I can only imagine how hard that night was but your last memories of Jayden are very special aren't they? You had been to see them all and sounds like you had a wonderful time.

My granbaby, Lewis, has spent the day with us. Cause I am looking after him full time at the end of January my lovley DIL thought I should try and get used to him and his funny little ways. I am exhausted tonight!! God knows what I am going to be like when its me on my own with him

I will be on here asking all you younger mums what I do!

Hazy - have been thinking of you and your family today. A candle is burning brightly here this evening for Jayden. Sending much love to all the Hazy family.xx

TW - will be lighting my candles again tomorrow for Harrys 'remember' day.

xxxxxxxx

Good morning girls - couple of inches of snow on the ground here this morning -

Thinking of you today TW and sending you all our love xx