Fraser's thread for bereaved mummies: Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal - Love leaves a memory no-one can steal

[frasersmummy]

Hello my good friends

Its lovely to be asked to set up our new support tread especially as we head towards our first festive season supporting each other.

I hope Frasers part of the journey is as smooth as Eris, Jack and Matt&Gareths

I think you are right , I will go out for a while and stop giving him a complex by constantly staring and hugging him

By the way pf I don't think I was ever particularly "normal" even before

Its just really hard to trust my instincts now

Come to think of it TW I KNOW I was always very abnormal

Everlong - you dont have to try to support other people. We are not always sad on here, although we all have our moments!xxxx - we have been known to tell very rude stories and jokes on here as well I think we also have one or two people who love a drink on here!!!! Not me, of course, I dont touch a drop.

Another joiner for the abnormal group!!

morning girls its raining here fast,grandkids at schoo except amelia who wanted to go for ride with her grandad ,she 14 month now and says granma .and car and car won today.
dd very down atm but its 2 years since jayden died on monday,so were all treading on egg shells and biting lips,we had a bit of cross words yesterday and she didnt speak to me on street, i came home and cried ,dh says dont ring her she cnt do this to you again ,but i did ring her,i undestand why she is like this, bloody hell we all just want life back as it was ,feel bloody normal againxx
thanks girls rant over ,nowhere else to vent that understand xxx

Oh sweetheart - its so difficult isin't it? She hurts you because you are her 'constant' the one person who is always there for her. I bet she went home and sobbed. Its been hard enough since my DIL had post natal depression so I cant even imagine how you are coping with the loss of Jayden. xxxx

Thank you to you all for the support this morning . We did go out in the end and had a lovely time , still a bit twitchy and I know it will be another long night , he is still coughing and pale .

Think a glass of wine and an early night is called for .

hazy , I know I have probably been really mean to my mum over the last nearly 7 yrs (it is Harrys anniversary on Tues ) and I know it isn't fair but I know she will understand and forgive me when maybe others wouldn't . It is not fair on her but she is a safe bet for my ranting sometimes (probably why she moved to France

Hi all. A Wilf story to cheer you up.Because of his deafness he doesnt understand some phrases ie "ears bleeding" (when you dont like the sound of something) and a car "screeching" to a halt. This week in class he wrote a review of a newspaper article and asked his support worker what "being caught redhanded" meant. Tina explained that it meant someone being caught doing something whilst in the act of doing it. Wilf then wrote in his review that "the man with the red hands had been caught doing something naughty!!"

Tina then thought they had better tackle that particular phrase from another angle!!!

We have a few 'remember days' coming up dont we my friends? We went shopping in our local Lidl today and I spied some beautiful candles. Bought loads of scented candles - my husband said 'do you think we are going to have some power cuts or something?' I turned around and said 'we have loads of remember days and I need some candles for my friends on Mumsnet'

The woman on the checkout just grinned at me and my husband was behind me making signs to let her know that he thought I had lost the plot!! Cheeky sods.

My twins will be 27 on the 28th December....it will be a day that will hold 'different thoughts' since Dan became a first time daddy.....all those 'I wonder what it would be like....' thoughts seem to be stronger in my mind. I wonder if Gareth would have been a daddy by now....I wonder if Matt would have been a daddy (he is 25 next June)

Brilliant Wilf story by the way Lottie...xxxxx

Good night my friends...see you in the morning xxxx

Morning girls xx

Morning xx

afternoon girlsxxx

Good afternoon my friends. It has been so dark all day here - raining all day as well. I despise the Winter time. I always feel 100% better when the sun is shining. Oh well soon be Spring

Morning all, just listening to really sad music feeling maudlin as my Nanas funeral is later on today at noon. If nobody minds a candle would be nice. Sorry for asking.
Night night love CM.

Candles already sorted CM - Hope today goes ok for all of you.

Morning girls - cant sleep x

Morning all

A candle will be lit here for your nan CM ,sending you lots of strength to get through the day .

Thanks girls, it means a lot. Good morning, just praying the rain holds off as it is a burial.

When I got home last night after seeing my Nana i spotted our Bird of Paradise had one flower open. It is strikingly beautiful. I have now had a rummage round it and spotted a few more flower buds. We thought we had killed it repotting it as there were loads of dead leaves on it. FIL pruned it for me last night and it looks beautiful, no dead leaves and lots of new buds.

I think it is a sign as Nana had some artificial B of P flowers and I like to read into things that probably aren't there.

Anyway off to get kids up and get dressed.

In my opinion that is Nan letting you know she is still around I love those 'little signs' that our loved ones leave for us. xx

I agree with Shabs about the flower , I bet it looks beautiful .

I want to share a dream I had last night with you all . I know there is nowt as boring as listening to other peoples dreams but please bear with me

I have been having a recurring dream for a wee while now and each time its much the same but with slight changes . I know I am dreaming but it is very vivid . It is a carnival type place and I am with a very good friend and I even ask other people in the dream if they know that they are dreaming too . Little non consequential things happen in the dream and even in the dream I am wondering what the point of it is , because it is recurring I figure there must be a message in their somewhere . But once I am awake I don't think about it at all so it hasn't been playing on my mind .
Anyway last night the dream went on for longer and at the end of it a wee boy walked past me and said something to me and smiled (can't remember what he said but was happy) . I kept walking and then it dawned on me that Harry had just walked past me as he would have now been at 8 . I collapsed on the floor in floods and my friend thought I was nuts but then she realised what had happened as well and was also in tears . I woke up soon after and was so happy .

It will never be enough but it gave me a little peace . I hardly ever dream of Harry at all but this was a good one .

Please tell me I am not completely nuts xx

Well TW if you are nuts I must be as well cause I have just had a quiet tear at your dream

Thanks it was the middle of the night and I woke up dh so I cold tell him .

Got to take your happiness wherever you can get it eh ?

cm xxcandle lit herexx tw thats so lovelyx

cm - candles burning brightly and smelling lovley here in Bolton xxx