Fraser's thread for bereaved mummies: Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal - Love leaves a memory no-one can steal

[frasersmummy]

Hello my good friends

Its lovely to be asked to set up our new support tread especially as we head towards our first festive season supporting each other.

I hope Frasers part of the journey is as smooth as Eris, Jack and Matt&Gareths

Sounds like a lovley week-end Lottie. I am !!

Woke up to the last bits of snow which all melted when the sun came out.

Still haven't managed to afford a new washer so hand washed 3 lines of washing. Watched it blowing on the line and then we had a massive hail storm!! I have just shut the kitchen door so I cant see it

Wilf went back to school crying We didnt get to go to mums for lunch cos of a blizzard! The last thing he said was "I miss Graggy"
Then when i rung up to say hed gone off my sister said my aunts slipped on the ice and is in hospital. I have to ring up later and see how she is! What a day!

Just a quickie again - sorry to not "speak" to everyone about their crappy times.

4d scan was fab, although she slept the whole time and woke up once we were finished.

In London all week again so won't be here much, if at all.

Promise to catch up properly next weekend!

Oh FMN - how exciting to be able to see your little girl in a 4d scan - it sounds great. Take care next week and just post when you can - we all worry about you

Hiya girls - everybody ok?

hi girls hope everyone ok.fmn conratulations on 3d scan i bet it was lovely seeing your dd.i didnt have a scan with 1st dd and still remember having 1st scan with son it was amazing and when i had dd2 i got a photo gosh how things changex

fmn good to see you back and hear of your little girls scan even if she was asleep! Take it easy sounds like you need the rest !!

Good morning girls xx

hi girls hope everyone ok xx

Morning all, the builders are in full swing in the dining room as i type. They got here this morning at 7.45am!

You are going to be so posh Lottie!!

Hi ladies, I am here and lurking about, I'm just a bit quiet as I have a really crappy cold at the moment and I feel like shite.

Gone are the days pre-children when you could curl up on the sofa with your duvet and watch daytime tv. I wouldn't have it any other way though Mac has been very chirpy and sleeping well so it gives me a chance to catch up on some z's.

We are all the same at our house moveit. DH has a chest infection, Ive got the cold and Tom has been sick and has the cold. I feel awful because I have made Tom go into school today. He is much, much better BUT I watched him walk up thinking to myself 'Please God let him be ok, please keep him safe!!' Then thinking 'he's just got the end of a bad cold FGS'

Hope you soon feel better

Mac sounds so lovley. xxxx

In 2004 i went to a babyloss service in London about a week before the 10th anniversary of Jacks passing. This song was played it is truly beautiful.
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=24fGmWG6kpg

Evening all........anyone about tonight?

Hiya Lottie - I am!

Good night ladies - see you in the morning xxx

Morning all xxxx

Good morning all

My youngest has got a real bark of a cough and it is freaking me out a wee bit . I had to take him to the dr yesterday to get checked out and she went through what I should look out for if it got any worse . The list basically consisted of all the things I told the dr the night before Harry died and they told me not to worry as he was asleep .
It is the anniversary on Tues and to have a poorly boy here at the moment is scary .

Just wanted someone who would "get it " to hear

How awful for you TW.......(((((((((())))))))))) hugs for you!

Thanks Lottie , my gp is on maternity leave as well so I had to see someone else and I doubt she knows the history and I didn't want to have to tell her , especially not in front of the ds , he has been in bed with me for the last two nights , I can't sleep when they are ill unless they are with me .

We are supposed to be going out later with a friend to a farm park as well and I am torn between going and getting some fresh air ( which I think is what a normal mum would do ) or sitting in the house all day watching him like a hawk .

I think it is going to be a long couple of days

Oh sweetheart - I know those feelings so well. I have had Dan and Tom checked for heart problems hundreds of times....when Tom was born I would sit and watch him and wonder why he was breathing so quickly. Had to get the HV to reassure me that was normal for babies.

I cant cross behind a lorry even if it is parked with nobody sat in it! I cross Tom over the road and back every day. I will continue doing that until he leaves High school.

Its the thought of not being able to cope if things went wrong...it is normal I reckon. We have been to hell and we are slowly coming back. Please do what you are comfy with.

Forgot to say TW - we are not 'normal' mums anymore. We know how precious our children are. We are stronger (but so fragile) mums but more fearful. Deep breathes and remember to put one foot in front of the other

TW - If you can, go out and wrap your little man up. You can still watch him while you are out, and it will give you a chance to get out of the house.

I know how you feel though. I've got a cold/virus thing at the moment and Mac is showing signs of having caught it. So I'm being extra vigilant, and as PF says, I don't think that will ever change.

I'm not defo sure, but I think the fact you have lost a child is flagged up on your GP notes. So if the GP has quickly scanned your history before they see you, they should be aware.

everlong - pop in whenever you feel like it. We'll be here when you're ready. In the meantime we'll be thinking of you.