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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

My beautiful Daughter died in her sleep

235 replies

TiasMum · 10/10/2008 23:31

5 weeks ago we lost our beautiful girl Tia. She was mearly 4 months old and the sunshine of my life. Her eyes would light the sky at night, and now our baby girl is gone.

I will be haunted forever by my last glimpse of her beautiful face

OP posts:
oiwhatsoccurring · 11/10/2008 07:17

Tiasmum, I am so so sorry, I cried reading your post, I can't imagine what you are going through. My heart goes out to you.

Buda · 11/10/2008 07:18

I am so very very sorry and sad for you.

Unfortunately there are quite a few people on here who know what you are going through. There are regular threads for bereaved mummies - the current one is here

woodenchair · 11/10/2008 07:45

I am very sorry for both of you

Pixiefish · 11/10/2008 08:13

so sorry for your loss xxx

oops · 11/10/2008 08:14

Message withdrawn

Tillyscoutsmum · 11/10/2008 08:19

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful dd

thesockmonsterofdoom · 11/10/2008 08:19

I am so sorry

sandcastles · 11/10/2008 08:20

So very sorry for your loss, TiasMum...so very very sorry.

YeahBut · 11/10/2008 08:23

So very sorry.

Tiamummy · 11/10/2008 11:45

I'm Tiasmum, but have changed to mummy, although i couldn't add an 's' for some reason.

My husband doesn't understand why i felt the need to share our grief with strangers lastnight, and made me turn the PC off. I don't understand myself, but i felt 'helped' by the fact there are other people out there who can understand where we are right now.

Hassled · 11/10/2008 11:47

I'm so very sorry.

needmorecoffee · 11/10/2008 11:48

so very very sorry

Yorkiegirl · 11/10/2008 11:48

Message withdrawn

Lilyloo · 11/10/2008 11:49

sorry for you and your dh

TheArmadillo · 11/10/2008 11:50

I am so sorry

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 11/10/2008 11:52

So sorry tiasmummy. Please post all you want sometimes it helps just to see it written down. And others on here have been through the same thing.

I can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now

VanillaPumpkinLantern · 11/10/2008 11:52

I am so sorry.
Tragically there are people who do know what you are experiencing , and they are on here and can support you if you need it and when you are ready.
If it helps you to share then do. Your dh is obviously trying to cope in a different way. It must be so raw for you both.

exasperatedmummy · 11/10/2008 11:57

So so sorry - you and your husband must be in an awful place just now. I just wish i could turn back the clock for you

frumpygrumpy · 11/10/2008 11:58

Tiasmum, it is totaly the right thing to share if you feel you want to. He might not feel its right for him but maybe its right for you.

When I first came to MN, I was struggling a bit with the way my life was. I have said it before....... I needed friends who were there anytime of day or night to hold me up and tell me it would be ok, empathise with the stuff that wasn't working, and I needed the anonymity. I didn't have anyone in RL who could fit that.

It marked the beginning of me getting on top of things again. I admitted to myself I had PND which was a big step. Being able to say it and still be accepted meant a lot. Until then, I couldn't even admit it to myself.

Now, I am much, much stronger, I even managed to get myself to counselling (from MN encouragement) which was a big step for me but so needed and so worth it.

Now, I have wonderful friends here who have helped much more than they will ever know. I have never met any of them.

Now, instead of leaning on everyone, I can be supportive when I see someone else falling apart.

Maybe your DH doesn't need this type of support but I hope he is open to see that we are not a bunch of computer geeks who lie........we are a supportive bundle of parents who share and try to help each other along the way.

I have two friends on the daily multiples chat thread who have each lost children. They struggle and they help and they cry and they laugh. We just do it together. We each have our stories.

I've blabbed enough.

If you need us, we are here.

Tiamummy · 11/10/2008 12:01

I cannot get past that day however hard i try, and my mind is so full of 'what ifs'. If i'd let her sleep downstairs would she still be here, if i'd done anything differently would she still be here
And i know the answer to these would be no, but it doesn't stop me thinking them. The only thing which brings me any comfort is visiting her and i do that every day. But as soon as i'm home i am too far from her and it feels like i've left her all alone. She was my baby

hammouhouseofhorror · 11/10/2008 12:06

There are not words to say how much my heart aches for you and your family Tiamummy, hope your DH can come to terms with the solace you find on here.

Thinking of you.....

Habbibu · 11/10/2008 12:08

So sorry, Tiamummy.

liahgen · 11/10/2008 12:11

i am so sorry for you and your family tiasmummy.

I hope you have found

Sands

Please come and talk as much as you need, cry, scream, whatever you have to.

RIP little lady. x

HRHSaintMamazon · 11/10/2008 12:12

Are you able to arrange a funeral yet TM?

It is awful to think of it but it can be of help for some people to say goodbye.
a friend who went through similar described it as if you are in limbo of not fully registering what has happened. your just can't allow yourself to believe it is true.
the funeral was a bit of a milestone. it helped make it all real. this of course was incredibly painfull but it helped her move forward.

Im just very sorry for your loss.

cikecaka · 11/10/2008 12:14

I am so very sorry for your loss.

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