So for you and your Dh Tiasmummy. x
My SIL and her Dh lost their beautiful 19 month old Dd to meningitis 3 years ago.
This piece of writing says it all for them, I hope you dont mind me sharing it with you.x
SAY HER NAME!
The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how are we doing. Never is the name of our child mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Her life slips from recall. There are exceptions, close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent. But, for us the play will NEVER end.
The effects on us are timeless. Say HER NAME to us. On the stage of our lives she has been both leading and supporting actress. Love does not die. Her name is written on our lives. The sound of her voice replays within our minds. You feel she is dead. We feel she is of the dead but still she lives. She ghostwalks our souls, beckoning in future welcome.
You say she was our child. We say she is. Say HER NAME to us, and say HER NAME again. It hurts to bury her memory in silence. What she was in flesh is no part of our now. She was our hope for the future. You say not to remind us. How little you understand; we cannot forget. We would not if we could.
We understand you, but feel the pain in being forced to do so. We forgive you because you cannot know. And we would forgive you anyway. We accept how you see us, but understand you see us not at all. We strive not to judge you, but we wish that you could understand that we dwell in both flesh and in spirit. The mystery is that you do too, but know it not.
We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with her in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost you cannot feel. What we have gained, you cannot see.
Say HER NAME for she is alive in us. She and we will meet again, although in many ways we've never parted. She and her life play light songs on our minds, sunrises and sunsets on our dreams. She is real and shadow, was and is.
Say HER NAME to us and say HER NAME again. She is our child and we love her as we always did.