For Bereaved Mummies. Remembering Jack and our other precious little ones... the sharing of hurt is the beginnning of healing.

[lottiejenkins]

Third time lucky........ Thanks to Shabs and FMN. I hope i can carry the baton as well as you did. I havent made a good start though. Things can only get better.........

Yes LYB forever is a difficult concept at that age. DD who knows that her younger brother is "at church" sometimes asks me if he is still in my tummy. Cue losing weight. The concepts are difficult to grasp and they will catch your sister and BIL unawares a few times with questions and comments but it is just a case of repetition repetition repetition. Did the kids go to the funeral, not sure if it makes a difference or not though as DD did and still sometimes asks where he is.

Evening ladies. I've missed a lot I see.

Congrats Mel - wonderful news!

Lighthouse, it was six months since Eris was born just a few weeks ago. It hit me really hard, which I had not expected. How are you feeling?

LYB, hope you find some comfort and reassurance here. One thing we all prove is that life goes on, no matter how hard we are hurting.

FM, glad you had a lovely holiday. How did the weather hold out? Scan is on Thursday. I am telling a bit of a porky pie in RL and saying it is Friday so that we have a day to get used to whatever is thrown at us, be it good or bad. I also know that I'll need to "come to terms" with the sex of the baby, which ever it is. Another girl would be so hard, but then again so would a boy! In some ways I don't want a "replacement" girl but in some ways I do because I feel that we've been robbed of the way our family should have been. So hard to explain, but Iknow you'll all understand.

I think the forthcoming scan is really having an effect on me - I feel so tired, stressed, emotional. Hopefulyl I'll be around a little more after Thursday....

Love to all. xx

Oh FMN - I have wondered where you were. This is such an emotional time isin't it? I hope your scan goes well and puts your mind at rest......so much has happened in a short time. Sending my love and hugs to you and a big snog for your other half xxxxxx

Hi everybody.

Feedmenow - It was difficult like you said but I'm okay. I guess anniversay's of important dates, christmas etc will be espcially difficult and I think I am prepared for that. I hope all will go well for you on Thursday. Will be thinking of you. xxx

Hope everyone else is ok.

I always find that the 'run up' to anniversarys and birthdays is worse than the actual day......we call anniversarys 'remember days.' xx

Hi Shabs, - I think remember days is a lovely way to refer to those days. If you don't mind me asking do you ever do anything special on these days (ie birthdays or the day Gareth and Matt died). I met a lady at an FSID family day recently and she said they make a birthday cake on her DD's birthday. I thought that was lovely and something I might do with DD in the future. xxx

Hi Thelighthousekeeper,

I'm sorry to interrupt, I'm not normally on this thread, but I remember you talking about your lovely little Noah and hope you are OK.

Best wishes to you and all of you.X

Hi Goodasgold. Hope you are well. I'm doing okay thanks. xxxx

On Matts 18th and 21st birthdays we released balloons - the birthday cake idea is a wonderful one.

Gareths birthday is harder because it is Dannys birthday as well. Its also 3 days after Christmas day.

....and this June (on holiday in Rhodes) - Matts 24th birthday - we had a party in the Aquarius bar where our friend, Nikos, works - we ate too much wonderful Greek food, drank way too much and karaoked all night.

Nikos thought it was wonderful....think he also thought we were barking mad.

We arrived back in our hotel in the early hours....had a few more drinks - then I told the owner how much I loved him A wonderful night was had by all

Thats lovely Shabs.

Morning girls xx

Morning everybody............im off to London to see Wilfs family support worker this morning. Its pouring with rain too........................... boo hoo!!

It is raining so hard here in Bolton that I have had to put the lights on in the living room - its bloody awful

Horrible here in Sheffield as well.

I can brace myself as it were for the days I know I will feel sad eg "remember days" It is when something creeps up on you that it seems worse. I lost the plot a couple of weeks ago when I found out a distant friend had had twins. I completely went off the rails.

I have the same Shabs, (obviously being twins DOH) sharing a birthday. B was born and died on the same day and it's still Gs birthday so I am sad and happy all at the same time.

I try not to rememebr dying days as it is not something I want to celebrate but I do remember birthdays and other special occasions.

This year on the boys first birthday I bought a huge long heium balloon and all the family wrote a message on it for B and we released it into the sky.

morning girls hugs to you all x

Now home......... bloody bloody trains.... the one in front of us was late and got to Diss at the time that my train should have arrived. My poor Mum was worrying because i didnt get off.......... The only positive thing is she may now go and buy a mobile !!

Morning all xxxx

Morning girls....and still the rain pours down in Lancashire xxx

www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrXVWqVNL4c
Ive found this beautiful song girls!!
Another Beth Nielsen Chapman one!!

hi everyone

its reasonbly nice up here in Glasgow today .yesterday was horrendous .. felt like it never got light !!!

I was going to spend today playing catchup with 1001 things that I didnt do at the weekend .. you know boring stuff like changing the beds, hoovering etc..

but instead we headed for sainsburys and bought all the ingredients to bake a choc cake.. now you will know how much baking I do when I tell you we had to buy a baking tin!!!

ross is now covered from head to toe in choc.. the kitchen may never be clean again but the end result is "yummy" so I'm told

Its happy days like this that make me realise how far I have come.. there was a time not so long ago when I though I could never be happy again ..

hoping you all find a little bit of happiness in the next few days/weeks

Frasersmammy - you sound like me - Im not a great fan of baking

I lovvvvvvvvvvvve baking!! Im a mean chocolate cake maker!!

dont ask me to make pastry though......... my pastry is like playdough!!!!

Afternoon all

CM has recieved warning about lurking so will post if I am on line even though I have nothing interesting of use to post. Hope you are all well.