My daughter passed away and I have a question?

[bdhshsnsb]

My daughter passed away after a short illness. She was 4 and i wish i could be with her. I dont really know what to do or say.
Her funeral is booked for 3 days time and the funeral service have asked us to finalise if and what we put in her coffin.
She had a teddy, a little lion she carried everywhere. Didn't sleep without it.
My husband wants to bury her with it, says she never slept without it and she will need it.
I agree but it has her smell and I dont know whether I can part with it..
I used mumsnet so much and i never thought id be posting this but I really need an outsides opinion

You are a wonderful mother and as you navigate this horrible road of grief, reach out to those who get it.

life is cruel and it is not fair that your daughter died.

love and hugs to you

I’m so so sorry for your loss OP

So sorry for your loss OP. Bereavement is so difficult to navigate. I think your DH's idea is good. You need something of your daughters to help you through the early days and her lion is her essence.

We lost my DSis recently, she was 56, but she had kept her Teddy. that she was never parted from as a young child, throughout her adult life he was always on a shelf in her bedroom. We had plenty of other precious belongings from her adult life to keep after her death so we agreed (DBIL, DSis and I) that it would be fitting for Teddy to go with her in her coffin. We had a lifetime of her cherished personal belongings to keep. But your daughter was too young to have accumulated those type of keepsakes. She would have wanted you to look after her most precious lion.

We all have keepsakes that remind us of lost ones. I wear a ring I was left by my DM, I have my DF’s fishing rods and waste coat. I also have jewellery that my DSis left me. I also have some of her clothes and belongings. I wear them to feel close to her, since she didn’t live close to us no one else knows they are hers.

It’s all a part of the bereavement process. When you are further along in the process you could consider having a blanket made that includes some of her clothing. It doesn’t have to be for anyone else’s benefit.

Before we experience close loss it’s difficult to understand the need to keep items. I now understand the Victorian bereavement broaches and lockets. Have you thought about asking for a lock of hair to keep in a locket.

I never judge people’s need to keep a part of a lost one. It’s normal human behaviour.

I'm so sorry for your loss but I think it's a bit out of order assuming you know what the OP is feeling. I lost my DD as a baby and would never assume that's the same as OP's loss or yours. Maybe it's something I'm sensitive about as it bothers me when people who haven't suffered the exact same loss assume they understand. ETA I am not suggesting any one loss is better or worse than the other by the way.

OP I'm very for your loss. I cannot imagine how you are feeling but the thought of keeping the toy that smells of her and giving her one that smells of you is a lovely idea. I bought two identical toys for my DD and buried one with her and kept one for us. Sending hugs OP.

Not sure if it’s been suggested but could you buy an identical lion to bury with your daughter.

I would want to keep the original one for myself but can also see where your husband is coming from.

OP has buried her daughter

So sorry for your loss. Sending love and hugs x

Sending you love xxxxxx