My daughter passed away and I have a question?

[bdhshsnsb]

My daughter passed away after a short illness. She was 4 and i wish i could be with her. I dont really know what to do or say.
Her funeral is booked for 3 days time and the funeral service have asked us to finalise if and what we put in her coffin.
She had a teddy, a little lion she carried everywhere. Didn't sleep without it.
My husband wants to bury her with it, says she never slept without it and she will need it.
I agree but it has her smell and I dont know whether I can part with it..
I used mumsnet so much and i never thought id be posting this but I really need an outsides opinion

This is what DH and I did when our DD died. We slept with the new one for a few days and gave her that, along with a blanket and one of my T-shirts that she loved the design of. We kept her original giraffe. It still sits on my bedside cabinet now, many years later.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please remember to take a lock of your daughter's hair, if you haven't already. It will be a little part of her you can keep. I still have my son''s 20 years after he died.

Wow. My heart goes out to you op 💐

Can’t imagine what you are going through.

It is interesting to see how we all have different ways of dealing with things. I think the compromise is a good one if you can find a duplicate.

For me personally, I wouldn’t hesitate to give her the toy.

Bless your soul @bdhshsnsb 😢 I feel so sad for you.

I think getting another Simba for her to take with her, and you keeping the original for yourself, (with her smell still on it) is what I would do.

And write a little note to pop in with the lion....

'Hello sweetheart, we are giving you another little Simba lion for you to take with you, because we wanted to keep yours to ourselves so we can feel a part of you is still here... This new little lion is a friend of your lion, so I hope it's OK that we send him and keep your old one so we can look after him. Sleep tight my little darling.' ❤

I can't put into words how sorry I am. The loss of a child is like no other loss.

She would offer it to you now then. I was going to suggest a pair of teddies, one for you and one for her but if you can match her lion then that sounds like a perfect solution.
I’m sorry for your loss, I hope you have friends, family and professionals to support you through this.

I’m so sorry you are going through this, life can be so unfair.

When my 21 year old daughter passed away at the end of 2024, we popped her little bunny in with her that she had her whole life. I did want to keep it but decided she needed it more and I have other soft toys.

Whatever decision you make will be the right one OP 💛

Oh op, I'm am so incredibly sorry.

My son and daughter both died, and I felt so torn about what to do. In the end I decided on putting something in their coffins that was deep and meaningful to me (a necklace for my daughter and my childhood teddy for my son). When my time comes I have it written into my will that their teddies must be placed in my coffin.

I figure they are looking after my special things and I'm looking after theirs, until we meet again.

I wrote letters as well.

It will feel surreal at the moment, I think i was around a year afterwards that the full reality set in, I was on autopilot for most of that year. There is no right or wrong in a situation that just shouldn't be happening, you just focus on making it through the next minute at this stage 💐

I am so sorry for your loss. My adult son died 5 years ago. There are so many things to think about, fortunately we didn't have this.

We've decided to get a new simba and he will sleep with us and we will place him in the coffin Saturday morning. She's got her elsa blanket and a photo of mummy and daddy and her favourite book, the gruffalo. We are going to write a letter. But so far I've got her name and I cant stop crying.
Thank you for the suggestion to take a lock of her hair. We rang the funeral company and they said they can do that. I feel lost

I just want to say I’m so so sorry for your loss, I have a 4 year old and couldn’t imagine the pain you both are feeling right now I can’t really give advice because I don’t really know what I would do in this situation because I too wouldn’t want to loose the smell.

I’m sending you so much love and light.
xx

@bdhshsnsb I wonder if you can purchase an identical lion for her, and you keep the one with her smell on it? EBay, Vinted, the power of social media perhaps? I’m sending you love, light, strength and everything I can right now x

I am so so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now. I think the decision you have made is lovely.

I cant imagine your pain, I am so very sorry.
I think your decision is the correct one, I don't have the words to express my admiration for how you are handing this, and if it were me, my letter would read 'for child's name xxx'

No need for words, they were loved in life, and that love will never fail.

Take care of yourselves ❤️

I think that’s a perfect solution. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

I am so, so sorry, I dont feel like there are even words to convey how sorry I am for someone I have never met, but tears are streaming down my face just thinking about you and your husband and your immense suffering. I think its a good idea to swap the teddies and for you to have hers and for her to have one from you both. I think its very important that you have a focal point, something physical and tangible to hold onto as time passes. I am praying for strength for you and your husband, and everyone who loved your sweet little girl. ❤️

Christ op, I am so so sorry for your loss. I think the decision you have both made is lovely. I am thinking of you both.

I’m so sorry for your loss.
the locket of hair reminded me, my cousin passed away last year and the funeral home pressed his fingerprints for his mum, and she now has it tattood on her. But just a thought incase you wanted her finger prints.
big hugs to you and your husband. I will be thinking of yous on Saturday.

I think this is the best thing to do.
I am so sorry you are having to make these plans ,my heart breaks for you both.
Sending strength to you for the forthcoming days.

I’m glad you’ve found a solution and i’m so very sorry for your loss.

I am so very sorry. I think the idea of giving your daughter a new Simba that smells of you, and keeping the one that smells of her, is a beautiful idea.

If it was me I’d not be able to part with my DDs beloved toy. I think I’d put in something precious to me instead. I still had my favourite childhood toys so probably one of those. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I hope you have lots of people around you to support you through such an awful thing.

The smell will wear off. If she always slept with that teddy I think that I'd want that teddy to be with my child I asked my grown up daughter the question and she told me she wants to be buried with her favourite teddy.

I have nothing to add other than I am so sorry your having to go through this 🙁

Oh op

May your little girl rest in perfect peace. Nothing I can say will help but you have touched my heart. I wish only the best to you and your husband and the family and friends who loved her.

Rest well sweet girl x

Whatever decision you make will be the best one you could have made at the time and it will be ok