I’ll go first. I haven’t said these things to anyone as I’m worried they make me a monster.
For context, my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness (that has a 100% fatality rate whatever stage it’s diagnosed) when I was in my 20s and passed relatively recently.
I really want them to find a cure for his illness so no one ever needs to go through this. But I don’t want them to find a cure too quickly. That would absolutely destroy me if they discovered a miracle cure that he only just missed. Tbh even a recent drug advancement has made me really upset and envious. And then I feel so guilty because I know there are families that desperately need a cure right now.
When it was clear he was dying, I was always hopeful that there would be some miracle that saved him. But caring for him for over a year day and night and his decline took such a toll on me that in the last month of his life I remember thinking ‘oh my god, if he was miraculously cured he does still have to die at some point. Then I’d have to do this again 10-20 years down the line. And I don’t have it in me.’
Maybe no one will respond to this thread but I just had to get these thoughts off my chest. Thank you for reading.