The Sunflower Thread for bereaved mummies. For Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away

[shabster]

Hello my new friends.

Come in, pull up a chair and have a gab

Vag- You have such an eloquent way of putting things.

I just realized I hadn't really introduced myself. I'm Melissa, 23 year old sahm to Freja, Raeden, and my angel Calypso Paikea Rhyder.

I lost 4 people in my immediate family last year. So it's been rough. I spent 6 weeks in the hospital prior to giving birth to my daughter. DUring that time my uncle lost his 12 year battle with ALL (Cancer). My daughter was born at 29 weeks 5 days and died on July 7 at 23 days old from Kidney Failure from NEC. On July 27, 2007 my dearest cousin who was 23 was KIA in Kamu, Afghanistan. ANd then on November 8, my dear grandmother unexpectedly died.

We just passed Bill (my uncle's) angelversary, and Calypso's birthday. July will be hard for us I think though.

I actually heard of the mumsnet board through the oceangram website. I kept getting messages that mentioned it lol

Hi Ali, I'm so sorry to hear about your darling Calypso.

Make yourself at home on this thread. Whether you feel like laughing, crying or remembering your daughter, this is the place to do it.

What a rough year you've had, I hope better times are around the corner for you xx

Alisteal, I am new to this thread too, thank you for your comment, it has taken me ages to find the right words to say to these wonderful ladies.

Boy you've had a rough time of it.

I am so sorry to see you have lost so many loved ones in such a short space of time, especially your DD Calypso.

Have you got family close by to help you ?

evening everyone..

This is such an amazing thread.. I have never met so many people willing to give so much of themselves to help one another. I myself have found so much solace and hope on here

Its just sad that there are sooo many of us on this terrible journey

herts I know fmn suggested a special plant eg a rose bush I just thought I could add to that .. someone bought me a rose bush called sweet memories.. is a beautiful yellow rose

Evening girls

Finally V (I darent say the full word my mum will slap my legs) has come over here to have a gab. I have been bullying her to get her bum over to us.....good to see you ladiesfrontbottom - think I got away with that!!!

Welcome to our new mummies and friends of mummies.....sadly we are a growing bunch BUT how great that we have each other.

xxxxxxxxx

FMN what do you think about a few packets of forget-me-not seeds for Herts friend?? We have a 'thing' about forget-me-nots dont we??

Hi Ali,
What a very hard and painful time you have been through, so very very hard. You "sound" young, yet you have known immense loss, the loss of your darling baby, then close members of your family. These are hard lessons in life, we all have to face them at some point, but it is very hard when you are young, some may say that makes little difference. I just know that if I was 60 and lost my child then I would not have so many years of my own left to suffer the pain of losing him. For me its now been 14 years, double that for Shabs, its hard as it never leaves you. Life has changed, it can never be the same, but it can and will be good again, though thats not to say the odd thing won`t be thrown at you again as I know. When you lose your child, I believe you have suffered the worst loss in the world, so nothing else, however bad will be as bad again. Smile for today, and know that others care.....xxxx

So there you are my friend......

Its very quiet everywhere this evening......

What has gone on, have they all been kidnapped by Aliens ?

I was once you know, never been the same again since.

Well thats so obvious, Shabs and Trips show at the same time......

Reckon they been to the pub !

Just nipped down to Kent for an hour and its a long way home to Lancashire. Thanks for the apple juice cider Trips [loosing my marbles emoticon].

Do you make a mean Hotpot Shabs ?

Oh I love hotpot, stews, dumplings all that stuff! Give me that any day than a plate of salad! Wish we could all pop out for a pint, mines a guiness

It has been known V - and my middle name is Elizabeth (Betty)

FMN, I bought them a 'remember me' rose their daughter was born I will look into the memorial jewellery. Thanks for the tip xx

Well your not that far away Trips, and I do still own the house in Gravesend.......

oooh hotpot in the pub..

that reminds me of happy caravan holidays with my mum and dad when I was young

up here its steak pie and chips or mince and tatties

and if you are taking orders mine's a bacardi and coke

ok, its my round, anybody want nuts or pickle onion crisps? Shabs?

Off to bed now girls, dont stay up too late will you ?

Thank you for making me so welcome and I'm sure to call again

Night night Vaggy, off to bed now! xx

I went to Wilfs godmothers and had two glasses of wine, then took calendula cream to the pub for moo dogs paw! had a pint and a half then home!!

A girl after my own heart

Night girls - see you all in the morning xxxx

Thanks trips after my weekend i needed it. Wilf made friends with some algerian guys on he tube on Saturday, one of them gave him their "yasser arrafat" scarf, which was fine till he put it on on the way home and i became convinced he'd get it stuck in tube doors or escalator a la Isadora Duncan!

I really lurve Wilf - I love how he makes friends with everybody - that is a special talent. xxx Night night

I've just found this thread - full of amazing thoughtful and inspirational people. Some of you were saying that you can wonder what it is like for the sibling and I know that you have had some answers but I thought I would add something in the hope it might help. My DB died in an accident 20 years ago at the age of 13. I was 16. We were very close and a really happy family and it did knock us sideways. Even now I do try and protect my mother in particular from anything that might upset her - eg if we are in a conversation where I think someone is about to ask her about her children. She does not necc want me to do that but I want to iyswim. Despite all that I would say that I have a happy happy life. I have not forgotten about my lovely darling brother and we all talk about him still. DS1 aged 4 knows about him too and will talk about him. My parents are wonderful peaceful loving people who were obviously affected by what happened but we were all lucky to have my brother with us for 13 years and I think that is what matters to us.