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Original poster

My beautiful, brave Harry bear

191 replies

dizzy34 · 04/05/2008 17:30

I have posted alot in the special needs section over the years. I am heart broken. My beautiful, brave Harry passed away peacefully on tuesday in mine and his daddys arms. I am lost, heartbroken. I want him back so much. I want to kiss him and cuddle him. I want him. He was only five and had been very ill and disabled since birth (www.harrysjourney.co.uk). He took us all by suprise though. we knew we wouldnt have him long, but i didnt think he would go this soon. He had been ill at christmas and was only given hours to live, but he fought it. It left him exhaused and he slept most days, all day. He couldnt fight anymore.

I love him so much. He is in the butterfly suite at claire house at the moment and we are spending time with him till his funeral on friday. I miss him so much it hurts physically. I know he is better where he is and that his body works now, but i want him with me. Please tell me it gets easier.

OP posts:
welliemum · 05/05/2008 01:33

so sorry

susiecutiebananas · 05/05/2008 02:40

Oh good god, I'm so so for you. Sorry you are having to deal with such painful things.

wabbit · 05/05/2008 02:49

My heart goes out to you and your dh Dizzy34, so sorry for your sad, sad loss.
Little Harry has his wings now and you will always know that you gave him all the love any mummy and daddy ever could xxx xxx

ninedragons · 05/05/2008 03:51

I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

vio · 05/05/2008 06:06

Sending you love and hugs at this difficult time...he has gone but he wee soul stays. take care x

geekgirl · 05/05/2008 07:03

I'm so very sorry, dizzy what a terrible loss

Mitchell81 · 05/05/2008 07:48

I am so sorry for your lose.

Mitchell81 · 05/05/2008 07:48

loss

cluckyagain · 05/05/2008 07:51

Dizzy - I can't imagine what your dh and you are going though and I;m so sorry for your loss. {{{{}}}}}}} xx

Twiga · 05/05/2008 07:56

x x x

moyasmum · 05/05/2008 08:03

Dizzy very sorry for your loss.
Harry was very lucky to be loved by you both and even for a short time you were lucky to have such a little star.
Harry is part of your family and you will always have memories.

Buda · 05/05/2008 08:15

RIP with the angels Harry Bear.

Am so so sad for you all.

PollyLogos · 05/05/2008 08:52

I'm so sorry to read this.

Thinking of you all at this very difficult time.

PersonalClown · 05/05/2008 13:12

Just seen this Dizzy. I'm so sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

RIP Harry. xxx

steph101 · 05/05/2008 13:18

I send you lots of love and a big hug. You are in my thoughts. xxx

HonorMatopoeia · 05/05/2008 13:28

Dizzy, I am so very sorry to hear this.

I have never lost a child but I have taught a few sn children who have sadly passed away. Their parents described it to me as losing a special part of themselves. One couple, 6 years on, still tell me that they hurt. She says the pain becomes more bearable although, of course, she has good and bad days.
They forever live on in their hearts and those of people whose lives they touched and never underestimate how many lives Harry will have touched. I remember this particular Mum being overwhelmed with how many people were at the funeral. She said that she knew L was special to them but was not aware of how very special other people found her too.
She also told me that there comes a point when you can remember them with a smile as you tell a story about some little daft thing they did. It still stings but you remember the quirks without the full on pain.

I know none of that is my own experience as such but I sincerely hope it helps in some small way.

Sending lots of love and thoughts to you and your family. x

kitkat9 · 05/05/2008 13:35

you poor, poor soul. There are no words.

I'm so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful little boy.

take care.

x

frasersmummy · 05/05/2008 20:16

Hi Dizzy just checking to see how you are doing today

we are here if you need to talk

Original poster
dizzy34 · 05/05/2008 20:38

Thank you all so much for taking the time to post to me. I felt so desperate yesterday, and am so frightened to think that i am going to feel like that again and again. I have panic attacks (im on medication) and they have started up again at night time. Im scared to close my eyes and go to sleep.
Today has been more bearable. I have had a moments of sheer, complete sadness which takes over all my thoughts and icant imagine anything being the same again, but i have had moments where i spent time with my other kids and didnt cry.
My friends and family are being wonderful, as is my lovely hubby and kids (13, 13, 18yrs). These messages have meant so much and thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read his site and sign the guest book.
Im going to have a bath and a glass of wine i think, and read a magazine.
I will keep checking in here as it is making me feel really supported.xxx

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 05/05/2008 20:44

Hi Dizzy

I am glad you are finding some peace in your day.. wine and a bath sounds ideal.

You will have these feelings coming and going for a long time.

please dont feel like you nave to hide them ..keep talking .. the pain never goes away but you do learn to talk about it and to live with it

JRocks · 05/05/2008 20:49

So sorry to hear of this, saying prayers for your family at such a sad time x

missorinoco · 05/05/2008 20:51

so sorry to hear this.

pussycatmomma · 05/05/2008 20:51

God in Heaven, what an awful tragedy....thinking of you all. There is nothing a stranger like me can say to ease your pain, apart from I am also a mother. My heart aches for your heart.
xxxx

pinkyminky · 05/05/2008 20:54

Dizzy, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. Harry was clearly surrounded by so much love in his short life, may he rest in peace.xx

lilyloo · 05/05/2008 20:54

I am so very sorry on the loss of your beautiful Harry when your ready there are a bunch of lovely ladies who will know exactly how you are feeling here

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