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Bereavement

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DH died today and I don’t know what to do

523 replies

Pleasedontdothat · 31/10/2023 18:26

He’d just turned 57 and was really fit but he’d been feeling vaguely under the weather for the last few days. I ended up taking him to a&e this morning as he had severe abdominal pain overnight but all his blood tests etc came back normal and they sent him home with instructions to see the GP. He went upstairs to have a lie down then said he was having a shower. I was downstairs on work calls. A couple of hours later I went upstairs to see if he wanted something for lunch and realised the shower was still running. I called out but no answer so went into the bathroom to find him collapsed on the floor - he was obviously dead. I don’t know how I’m going to cope . No point in this post but in some ways it’s easier than telling wider family and friends

OP posts:
MeridianB · 31/10/2023 18:58

Oh @Pleasedontdothat I so very sorry.

i hope you have someone with you now, but we’re all here for you.🪷

aLittleWhiteHorse · 31/10/2023 18:58

Oh OP, I am so sorry for your deep loss. This is so shocking and it will take time to even believe this has happened to you and your DH. It is truly tragic.

ThreeRingCircus · 31/10/2023 18:59

This is utterly tragic and you will be in a state of shock.

Have you got someone there in person with you? If not please call a friend or family member and tell them that you need help.

Post on here if you want to, someone will always be around to listen.

Passerillage · 31/10/2023 18:59

I'm so very sorry - the shock must be overwhelming. You absolutely don't have to take it on yourself to tell people though. Do you have someone, a friend, or family member to support you this evening?

Changingplace · 31/10/2023 18:59

I’m so sorry for your loss, I hope you have someone with you to look after you x

SpringboksSocks · 31/10/2023 18:59

I’m so, so sorry. Even though we don’t know each other, I’m thinking of you and sending love x

Pushkinini · 31/10/2023 18:59

What an awful shock OP. Look after yourself x

Hotsausage2 · 31/10/2023 18:59

I am so sorry for your loss.x

Purpleavocado · 31/10/2023 19:00

I'm so sorry for your loss, hopefully you have some friends or family to be with you tonight x

HowcanIhelp123 · 31/10/2023 19:00

I can't even begin to imagine the shock and the horror, I am so so so sorry.

I hope you've called someone to be with you. Don't worry about coping. You are such a strong person going through something so awful. You will be ok, you will cope, but it's absolutely ok not to want to right now.

Sending you so much love x

AllstarFacilier · 31/10/2023 19:00

So very sorry, awful news.

TiredyMcTired · 31/10/2023 19:00

How awful for you, I hope you have someone with you for support and comfort 💐

Rocksonabeach · 31/10/2023 19:00

I’m so sorry. I can’t take away your pain but you aren’t alone and it must be such a shock x

SirVixofVixHall · 31/10/2023 19:01

I am so sorry OP, the shock will be enormous, he was reasonably young and fit, you have had no chance to prepare for losing him.
When my friend lost his wife in an accident, he was completely in shock, and having people around making sure he ate, helping with all the official things, helping to organise her funeral, carried him through the first few weeks and months. Do you have good friends and family close by ? Are your in-laws still living ? Do not worry about calling in support, taking people up on any offer of help . Having friends make you supper, bake a cake for guests, just be there with you to make sure you’ve had a cup of tea etc, all these things are small things for someone to do but will help you.

CatOnAHotShedRoof · 31/10/2023 19:01

I'm so very sorry for your loss. What an awful shock. Do you have someone close who can be with you this evening? 💐

dontdillydallytoolong · 31/10/2023 19:01

I cannot imagine how shocking it must have been for you to find your husband. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Absolutely tragic and nothing you could have done. Sending you love and prayers x

Sybila · 31/10/2023 19:01

I’m so sorry, hope you are leaning on those who love you xx

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/10/2023 19:02

I'm so very sorry.

What a terrible shock for you, particularly as he was far from old, and seemed comparatively healthy.

Please make sure that you have someone with you - this will have knocked you for six and you won't know whether you are coming or going.

Lilyt14 · 31/10/2023 19:02

So sorry to read this, there are no words, what a horrible shock. Sending you lots of love and prayers ❤️

MyCircumference · 31/10/2023 19:02

I am so sorry op.

trambolise · 31/10/2023 19:03

I'm so sorry for your loss op and sending you lots of love and prayers ❤️

Neonrainbowxx · 31/10/2023 19:04

So sorry for your loss OP x

Mostlyoblivious · 31/10/2023 19:04

I am so sorry xx

TribeD · 31/10/2023 19:04

I am so sorry, sending you hugs and strength for the coming days and beyond.

x

Nows · 31/10/2023 19:05

I am so so sorry @Pleasedontdothat. I have been through similar but 6 years ago now - if it would help in any way, please feel free to dm. Thinking of you and yours xx