DH died today and I don’t know what to do

[Pleasedontdothat]

He’d just turned 57 and was really fit but he’d been feeling vaguely under the weather for the last few days. I ended up taking him to a&e this morning as he had severe abdominal pain overnight but all his blood tests etc came back normal and they sent him home with instructions to see the GP. He went upstairs to have a lie down then said he was having a shower. I was downstairs on work calls. A couple of hours later I went upstairs to see if he wanted something for lunch and realised the shower was still running. I called out but no answer so went into the bathroom to find him collapsed on the floor - he was obviously dead. I don’t know how I’m going to cope . No point in this post but in some ways it’s easier than telling wider family and friends

That exact same thing happened to my Dad. He died in the shower too. My Mum found him later, she was cooking dinner. Ring someone and ask them to come over and sleep at your house tonight. It would have been quick. They said my Dad had a massive heart attack. I'm sorry you're having to go through this and your DH is dead. It's a huge shock and it will take you a long time to process it properly.

I hope you e managed a little sleep overnight. Thinking of you.

I am so very sorry for your loss 💔 take good care of yourself

So so shocking - I’m so sorry for your loss, and the others mentioned on the thread. Stuff of nightmares

take any and all help. Get a friend to be the point of contact. Just try and be kind to yourself. Drink and eat what you can to keep your strength up

💐

Sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss OP. Loding someone is heart- breaking,but so suddenly is so difficult. Get people around you. The shock will be with you for a long time. Thinking of u.

Thinking of you - so very sorry for your loss, there has been some good advice on here from people who have been through similar, I hope you can take some comfort from it and hope you have some support in real life.

Several of my close relatives have died suddenly so my heart goes out to you.

@ScottBakula posted some very useful advice upthread and you might want to search for and print it out when you need to focus on the practicalities. There probably will have to be an autopsy, I'm afraid, as tests hadnt shown anything but you will possibly feel a little easier when you have a why to put to this and it could be important for your children too.

People grieve in very different ways, be prepared to see that in your family.

I am so sorry op. 💐💐💐

Oh love.... I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've tears in my eyes for you 🥀💐 xx

Am so sorry, I hope you’ve managed to contact your family/friends and someone is with you now supporting you.?
My dad died at the same age in not dissimilar circumstances and it is such a big shock- he was also allegedly fit.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Oh what a horrible shock. I'm so sorry. Sending you loads of love

My aunt had a heart attack getting out of the shower after a similar pattern of feeling unwell. Such a huge shock for you OP, im so sorry for your loss. I sincerely hope you have people surrounding you x Do reach out to some people who have gone through similar, its not about stopping your hurt, noone will expect that from you, you dont need a brave face, it's about slipping a metaphorical and literal with those you know hand into yours. Take help that's offered, let yourself be pulled along by others as you need it.

So very sorry to hear your sad news. What a terrible shock! Will be thinking of you today..

I am so sorry, you must be in complete and utter shock. Sending you and your children so much love. I hope you don't have to wait too long for answers.

So sorry, OP, and I'm glad you have people with you.

Tomorrow will be the 3rd anniversary of my DP's sudden death. It was the worst day of my life. Take all the support and help you can get, and talk about him as much as you can.

I had some lovely support from MN'ers in the "Bereavement" section on here.

❤

I’m so deeply sorry OP. X

You're in my thoughts. I lost DH 3 years ago, aged 49, to a heart attack. Be loved now by those around you. Talk and cry, share memories. When you're ready, there'll be people a bit further down the road to guide you.

Big hugs 🤗.
what a truly awful thing to go throu !
I don’t think anyone would know what to do but there will be people that will help you throu all the formalities so try not to worry about that atm !
Just let people look after you !! X

So very sorry for you. Sending hugs and deepest sympathy x

Oh @Pleasedontdothat, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

I am sending you lots of love and support to get through today, tomorrow and every other today and tomorrow after that.

💐💔

So awful for you all; and please accept the additional condolences of a stranger on the internet...
I would say that it sounds like you're in shock (understandably), and take all of the support offered, if it's helpful. I know it sounds trite, but people do genuinely want to help in these situations, but probably don't know best how to. Ask for people to take you places/contact your work in the first instance/meet for a coffee/help sort his things out/pull together an order of service/book somewhere for the funeral tea/bring you a casserole/etc. All of those things were super useful when I had a sudden bereavement, and just didn't know which way was up.
Also, meeting a friend to walk her dog, and just chat nonsense about what was on the telly was a massive relief... although it felt somewhat traitorous at the time, getting away from the discussions about sadness, and practicalities for a couple of hours, was a massive help.

Take care, of yourself, and your children, and allow yourself to be taken care of. It's an overwhelming time.

So sorry for your loss and such a shock for you x

I’m so sorry for your devastating loss 💔 I can’t imagine what you’re going through. It’s positive you have some support 💐