Is anyone up yet ... am having a 'mare ...

[Ghosty]

Hi

Some of you may know that I am expecting again ... see 'anyone due mid 2003' thread ... but now I am having a shocker and don't want to post on that thread ...

I am 12 weeks today but yesterday I started bleeding ... just brown to start with then it got worst and went red and then went back to brown today and nearly stopped but about 5 minutes ago I had some cramps and went to the loo and and it is red and bitty ... am I having a miscarriage?

I am due for my scan on Tuesday but my doctor has said that I can go in on Monday if I want to to make sure but I thought that I would ask my mumsnet friends for advice on what to do (if anything) and what are the really alarming signs ...

Feeling very lost and frightened ... don't want this to happen to me ... DH being as supportive as poss but is annoying me as he keeps trying to gee me up and stuff but I just feel rotten ...

Ghosty, I've only just found this thread. I'm so sorry. The evac operation may make you feel better - I was beginning to see weird colours and shapes after my missed misc, and felt quite feverish.
Best wishes. xx

Ghosty just wanted to say thinking of you and feeling so sad for you.

Ghosty, I am so sorry life can be crap sometimes. Thinking of you, take care, sounds if you have some good men looking after you.

Just like to add my sympathies here too. I cannot possibly know what you are going through right now, but you have my every sympathy. I hope you manage to get through this terrible time. Cyber hugs to you xxx

GHOSTY
YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.

This is all to familiar with me at the moment. After having two unproblematic pregnancies, this one is not going to plan. I have been bleeding fairly lightly for 3 days. Have had a scan but they couldn't see the baby. They said maybe it was too small to see, maybe I have miscarried already or maybe it is an ectopic pregnancy. They did discover a fibroid which wasn't there with either of the boys.

Anyway, feel as though I am having a miscarriage but maybe there is still hope, I don't know.

So Ghosty, my love goes out to you across the miles. Well done your dh for being such an angel. Hope you coninue to get all the rest and care you need and deserve.

Hilary I'm really sorry to hear what's happening to you, it all seems so unfair, bundle x

Oh Ghosty, Hilary,it does seem so unfair. Same thing happened to me 5 years ago when I miscarried at 12 wk. Thought it was the end but 13 months ago gave birth to DS - there is always hope. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Take extra special care.

Hilary, this is sad news. I hope it turns out to be a false alarm. But - if they think there's a chance it might be an ectopic pregnancy, shouldn't they be monitoring you very carefully indeed? Take good care of yourself, thinking of you.

You'd think so, wouldn't you, Marina? Because I am in no pain, they don't seem too worried about it but because they couldn't see the baby on the scan, it is still a possibility. I don't think I have miscarried yet as there doesn't seem to have been much blood and none of this 'fleshy tissue' they were talking about but then, who knows, I am no expert on this.

Is it common not to be able to see a baby at 7+ weeks?

Thinking of you, Hilary. I don't know about seeing the baby on a scan at 7 weeks, I guess it's pretty small at that stage. I bled fairly lightly for about 2 days a week for 3 weeks at this sort of stage and all turned out fine. It could be a false alarm. Time is, unfortunately, the only way to tell for sure though.

Hugs.

Oh Hilary I'm so sorry. I really really hope that it all turns out OK but I'm just so sorry you are going through this whatever the outcome.

Regarding your questions about the scan - well it depends on the type of scan. They can see baby and HB on normal scan from about 8 weeks. I would iamgine they can see something before then but not the HB. TV scan (where they put it inside you) can pick up the HB from 7 weeks. When I had mine this time I could clearly see the "kidney bean" and flicker of the HB. I also had a scan after my MC and was amazed they could see how much tissue was left and what sort of tissue it was so I suspect it all depends on the machines too as well as the skill of the sonographer. Mc varies a lot - all 3 of mine were very different. With the first I had no bleeding at all and virutally nothing on the scan. I'm sorry.

I know this is sounding negative and I;m sorry for that but I suspect you will be bracing yourself anyway. When I had my first mc (almost 6 yrs ago)I had a scan at 12 weeks which showed a 5 week sack but no baby. I think these days they would have told me straight off but then they said it was too early to say and sent me away. I had to wait a whole week praying everything would be OK but of course it wasn't. Even now I am sure they knew it was hopeless and wished they had told me the truth. I suspect they thought they were preparing me but the fact is that when you go through this you cling to every shread of hope and convince yourself its possible.

I do find it shocking that they have sent you away worying you may have an ectopic with no clear answers. Ectopic is potentially very serious. They found a cyst on my ovary and could tell me exactly how big it wasto the mm. I am SURE at this stage they could tell you if it was ectopic.

You need answers or you will just tear yourself to pieces with worry and not knowing. If this was a small unit without access to TV scanning then demand a referral to a bigger unit (from your GP). If this was a bigger unit then kick up some fuss. You need looking after whatever happens and you deserve the very best of care so make sure you get it. All my love.

Thanks guys, it is a bit weird hanging around in the pregnancy section and the miscarriage section simultaneously but I guess that pretty much sums up this week as I don't know which way things will go.

It is a small unit in a hospital which will close in 2004 but as they are quiet, they seem to give pretty good care. The problem is, I think of my questions afterwards! I assumed that because they were just sending me away for another week, if it was an ectopic pregnancy, they knew they still had plenty of time. Maybe this isn't the case.

Also, could it be the fibroid which is bleeding? I have read a bit about them but if the doctor thought that it would explain the bleeding then she didn't tell me so. I really don't know what to think.

Thanks for all your support and kind words. It is very helpful to be able to talk it through, especially as not many people in my 'real' world know I am even pregnant, never mind maybe not again!

Hilary, even if it is a small hospital there should still be someone there for you to talk to. when I had a tiny amount of bleeding with dd (around 12 wks) the doctor I saw asked me if I felt reassured by what he'd said (ie I wasn't in pain, the bleeding wasn't heavy so odds were things would be fine - they were) and I said no. He said well I don't want you to go home until you feel reassured and talked about what would be happening if I was miscarrying and that nothing much could be done if I was, just wait & see. I found him reassuring & realistic (especially for a youngish, obviously single guy!). I have midwives numbers I can call whenever I want, you'd hope there'd be something similar for you even if it was just during the day to speak to a consultant to answer those questions that have been bothering you. lots of love x

Thanks bundle, I do have a phone number they said I could ring. It was mentioned in the context of, if I am in lots of pain and/or bleeding very heavily I should ring, but I could probably ring just for some more answers to my questions. I might do that tomorrow.

I am having a second lot of blood taken tomorrow for them to compare with the stuff I parted with on Monday to assess levels of pregnancy hormones over the two days. Has anyone else had this done?

Hi Everyone, just had my follow-up scan and everything is back to normal. They said it looked like I would have a period soon which surprised me. Its amazing how quickly your body snaps back to its routine.

Now we've just got to try and be sensible until I get my first period although I'd prefer to wait till after christmas. Its so hard to take precautions when you really want to get pg though. Have to admit we threw caution to the wind the other night, just so amazing to have a sex life again after 3 months of not being interested at all. Now I scared cos I feel queesy this morning. Can't win.

Hilary hang in there. I hope I didn't come across to doom and gloom last night. Thinking about it this morning it occurred to me that the other reason they would ask you to wait was if you weren't totally sure of your dates. At this stage even if you were out just a bit it could make quite a difference. BTW when I commented on small units I just meant that they might not have the sophisticated machines that the larger hospitals have. We have a tiny unit too and they were lovely with my mcs, but they don't have a TV untrasound which is why I've been going to the EPU at the larger hospital this time.

I remember the "if you are in pain or bleeding heavily" line myself. Thankfully I've not heard it at all this time. Its as if they think you only need special care when its obviously bad news. I don't think they realise that "not knowing" can be just as painful.

No, you didn't come across too doom and gloom, I really appreciated your comments. It is good to talk to someone who has a clue what all this is like, though I am so sorry that you do have such clear first hand knowledge of all this.

I am reasonably sure of dates but some people have said that at 7weeks their baby couldn't be seen but was fine. I go for another scan on Monday so I will know more then. I had more blood taken today for them to compare with Mondays. I don't know whether to ring before Monday to ask what they found out. Surely if they find I have an ectopic pregnancy they will contact me anyway?!

Hilary, if they do find the pregnancy is ectopic, I would have thought they will immediately take action or refer you. A friend who had an ectopic diagnosed by chance at an early dating scan was able to have microsurgery that left her fallopian tube intact, so although it would be a distressing diagnosis for you, much better now at seven weeks than further down the line.
Statistically it is much more likely that the baby was just the wrong side of registering on the scan last time - ectopics are quite rare. It must be very hard to wait. Has the bleeding subsided? Thinking of you.

I love reading all your messages, it is so comforting. And quite apart from that, I am allowed to do so little that I am getting a bit bored!

No, I am still bleeding lightly as I have been since Saturday morning.

Hilary - just seen yout posts and would like to add that I bled from around 6 wks through to 29 weeks and ended up with ds . Don't give up , take care of yourself. I know how hard it is though, I had 3 previous miscarriages and was totally sure I was going to miscarry again

Mabs, You must have been an absolute nervous wreck. I really feel for you. How wonderful to end up with your ds after so much pregnancy trouble. Thanks for your encouraging words.

Hi Hilary,

I know that bleeding at any point is so worrying, but it doesn't mean doom and gloom. As for the blood tests, they will be measuring your HCG levels (the hormone which is traced in pg tests). I think that in a normal pg these should double every 2 days or so in the early stages of pg.

As the others have said, so much depends on the scanning equipment available. I went to a private hospital at 5 and a half weeks and could see the heartbeat (effectively that was all that was there - baby was 2mm long, so just pulsing really). However the NHS hospital doesn't bother until much later. Did they mention whether they could see a sac or not? The fibroid may be confusing things on the scan, but if the sac is in the right place then it is unlikely to be ectopic.

Hope all goes well for you.

Just to say that my experience of an ectopic was that it hurt like hell - really extreme pain. So it sounds unlikely that this is the problem - try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know) and take things easy. But if you do start to experience pain contact GP or hospital asap - ectopics are dealt with immediately as emergencies as they are potentially very dangerous.

Hi Hilary, would just like to offer my support and echo what others have said here. I bled very lightly from about 6 - 12 weeks in this pregnancy (am currently nearly 20 weeks and all is well) I was convinced I was miscarrying especially as the signs were so similar to those I had back in April when I had a miscarriage. I know how you feel being in limbo not knowing either way, hanging around waiting for further scans, it's just awful isn't it. My dh was good but kept saying "try not to think about it".....how on earth are you supposed to do that. Anyway, don't give up hope, we are all thinking of you and please keep posting to let us know how you are.
Love Melly xx

Dear Hillary ...
Just want to add my thoughts and prayers to the others ... I know all too well what you must be going through and really hope that it turns out ok for you.

This is all so painful for me still as it was only last week that I lost my baby ...

Just get the hospital to give you some answers ... I know that I felt better in a way once I knew even though it was bad news as I could start to get my head around the whole thing ...

Wish I could be more cheerful for you ...

Thinking of you ... and keep posting as I know that the support that I have had over the last week or so has been wonderful ...

Love, Ghosty