Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

[JungleZgok]

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

Oh Jungle, I'm so sorry you're all going through this, as a mum of an 18 year old "closed book" son and a 13 year old who sounds like your lovely boy - I've never known someone have such strong morals and empathy ❤️ - this would be my worst nightmare.
I'm thinking of you all, especially your lovely boy x

For many reasons I understand from all angles and my heart goes out to you @JungleZgok ❤
Im lighting a candle for your family today and my thoughts will be with you.
Please remember to eat and drink something, even if its a biscuit. You may be at the hospital some time. 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Sending you and your family so much love. Today your family and your beautiful DS have my hopes and dreams.

Thinking of you & your family As pp said your Son has been ill, you've nothing to reproach yourself for

I’m so so sorry to read this. I will be thinking and praying for your family.

So sorry to hear this, hope your lovely boy pulls through

I'm just wondering, you wrote that your DS has been on meds for 7 weeks. I know that with some meds that in the beginning they can increase suicidal thoughts. I know that doesn't help now - what's happened has happened - but you said you wanted to know why this has happened and I wonder if this may have contributed?

I'm so sorry. Sending all the love and best wishes.

Sending prayers and love, my ds was in a similar situation a few months ago and had pulled through. Please have hope. I second the antidepressants having adverse effects on teenagers too x

So sorry to hear your son is in ICU, sends love to you all.

Our young people have suffered so much over the past two years, my heart aches for them. It sounds like you have such good insight into his mental health problems. You've been aware and you've been there every step of the way, there isn't anything more you could have done.

Sending love & light, and keeping you in my thoughts today.

I am wondering the same.... he was on 20g of fluxotine which they increased to 40g 2 weeks ago and then he started on Quiatapine (sp??) for 5 days and I noticed at that time he had got worse. We raised it to the Community Mental Health team when they did the home visits and he was due a psychiatrist appt today ...

I’m heartbroken for you. My DS has struggled with his MH recently and it’s been devastating. Like you, I also blame myself. I hope to god he pulls through.

I’m so sorry, sending you a massive hug and holding your hand tightly xx

So sorry you are going through this, really hope he pulls through 💐

My heart goes out to you. I’ve recently lived the same situation but with a parent instead of a child. It’s just impossible to make sense of it, but for whatever it is worth my parent made it through and is in a better place now and I wish the same for your DS.

How anyone could not be kind after reading your post is beyond me.

i am so sorry you’re going through this OP. Sending you and your family so much love

OP one of the side effects of SSRIs is increased suicidal feelings. My DS knows this to his cost.
His HPC won't prescribe SSRIs for him now as the risk is deemed too high.

so sorry op i suffer from depression and honestly theres nothing you cojuld have done-you can tell them ten times a day you love them the fog just wont let it trhough if that makes sense

noone or nothing matters-its a terrible disease-wishing you all love and hope

I am so sorry you and he are going through this. Please get someone with you to help talk to doctors. The recency of the meds starting and this happening is a red flag to me. There is evidence that sometimes in some young men especially going on to SSRIs can increase the chances of this sort of thing. I am so incredibly sorry for you and I just urge you to call on us much support as possible as tou are doing here. Young Minds have a helpline fot parents and of course there is Samaritans and Papyrus. Hugs

Just realised I said the same as others. Sorry. Thinking of you both

I'm so sorry to read this op. I've been suicidal and at the time it genuinely felt like it would have been a kindness to the people i loved. I know now that's not true, but depression is a truly terrible illness. Your son sounds like a wonderful kind, caring boy.

Sending love and hope to you and your family JungleZgok Hold each other tight x

I will be thinking of you & your Ds.
I also have had a Ds with mental health issues. Yes Ssri's any time they are increased can sadly cause a temporary rise in suicidal thoughts. The Quetiapine would have been added to help speed up this stage quicker.

It does sound as though his doctors were doing the very best they could for him. You also sound the very best Mother & your family sound absolutely lovely. The very best of luck for today 💗.

Sending you the tightest handhold. ICU staff are absolutely incredible. It was a very different situation, but my dad was on a ventilator in ICU for ten days with meningitis when he was 84 and the knowledge and kindness and just pure dedication to pulling him through were amazing (and yes, they did get him through it and gave us ten bonus years with him). Thinking of you and your beautiful boy.