Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

[JungleZgok]

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

💔❤

I'm so sorry x

I am so sorry, I really pray he pulls through, sending you so much love.

I am so so sorry. I'm heartbroken for you. Sending you strength and hugs.

I am so, so sorry. Thinking of you and your family 💕

Praying for a miracle for you. So awful. My brother did the same many years ago in his early 20's. Really hoping he pulls through 💐

Sending lots of love and strength to you and your family xxxx

Jungle,
Thinking of you and your lovely son. If he needs peace , perhaps he’s going to get it. I say that from a place of suffering from extreme depression and not knowing how to live. I really hope and pray he pulls through but if not , it might be the only way for him. It’s nobodies fault. Not yours or his.
My heart is breaking for you and him. I know what it’s like to feel that life is just not worth living.
He will find peace and he will be ok.

Thinking of you and your family OP, and sending all my prayers and strength xx

I’m so so sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. Just heartbreaking. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

So so sorry to see your update this evening, your son, you and all your family have been in my thoughts and prayers today

So sorry this is happening to you. You are not alone xx

My heart goes out to you and your family , i have said a prayer for your precious son .

How devastating. As someone who has been suicidal on and off since early teens, I just think some people find life extra hard. Especially if you are a sensitive sort, life is just really hard to bear. Had I gone through with it I certainly wouldn't want anyone thinking about the what ifs or feeling guilty. It would've been my choice alone and no one would've been able to stop me. It's just one of those things that some people can't cope with life. Of course many will feel differently later on but for those who don't there is no one to blame. I've always felt like I walked through life with the weight of the world on my shoulders, couldn't tell you why.

The last thing a suicidal person wants is their family or friends feeling bad or guilty (I know that's a common thing). Sorry if any of this is too much, I'm just trying to give you a bit of insight into the suicidal persons mindset. I hope he pulls through x

Thinking of you all, so very sorry x

@Firefly1987

Read the OP's posts. Please.

Just heartbreaking, I'm so very sorry OP.

Words don't seem enough but please know that we are thinking of you, your darling boy and family ❤️

You've been on my mind all day, you and your beautiful prefect boy. There are no words of comfort, but know that so many of us are sitting with you, holding you in our minds and hearts.

I turned on the radio and they were broadcasting a mass from St Martin in the Fields. I would not normally listen to that while at work, but I did. so that I could share a prayer for your family. I hope you can feel the mass of MN vipers pouring love to you today, in all of the ways we can ❤️

Perhaps your lovely boy will get the peace he deserves now. He will be forever content.

I'm so, so sorry 😔

So very heartbreaking, teenage boys struggle with mental health every year, but the last two years have probably just been too much for some of those who would normally get through it eventually with some help and intervention. I don't know what I can really say apart from it is not your fault.

Sending you love and strength, having just read your update
Be with your precious boy,He will know you are there
My heart goes out to you

Sending you love and strength, having just read your update
Be with your precious boy,He will know you are there
My heart goes out to you