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Need A Hand Hold - DS18 in ICU **Trigger warning**

1000 replies

JungleZgok · 26/05/2022 05:44

Just over 18 years ago, when I was in early labour with my wonderful DS I posted on Mumsnet until I went to the hospital (have name changed since then but was a regular poster). I had lots of encouraging posts from lovely mumsnetters and it was so helpful.

Now my DS is in ICU in a critical condition. I have been up nearly all night. My heart is breaking and I have never known grief like this. DS has been suffering from anxiety and depression and has been on meds over the last 7 weeks and having therapy and visits from the Adult Mental Health service but yesterday evening he decided he couldn't face it anymore.

He is such a sweet boy who always thinks of others. We have a great family and he has been talking to his older and younger sister. He has been talking to both me and DH and we have done everything we can to help him and keep him safe. But it hasn't worked.

I want to understand why this has happened and answers and reassurance that he is going to pull through but it is not looking that good. I can't cope. I feel like a shell and have never cried so much or been sick and to the toilet so much. I can't sleep.

Please be kind. I am not feeling that strong at the moment.

OP posts:
AthenaPopodopolous · 26/05/2022 21:08

I’m heartbroken for you, God bless you OP and your beautiful son. Take good care of your self and your other child. I’m so sorry this is happening.

mommybear1 · 26/05/2022 21:09

I'm so so sorry OP thinking of you all.

mommybear1 · 26/05/2022 21:09

I'm so so sorry OP thinking of you all.

kateandme · 26/05/2022 21:10

I'm so sorry op.he knows you love him.i can guarantee it.its what will have kept him going for as long as he has.and he sounds wonderful,so too your family huddle.
Depression is often amongst a family with so much love it's why it can feel even more unfair! The personsufferung is often so sensitive,good soul that things hit them harder,get to them,linger.
But how strong you all are,and have been to even begin to try fighting depression and anxiety.that's strength,that's love.
Know he love you too.never ever believe different.
This is no-one fault.suicide is a last symptom of depression.an illness.ir says NOTHING about you.
Don't be alone.
Talk.share.hold tight.
Be supported.
Be held.
Hold each other.
It's a devastating time,I'm so sorry for you all.

EwwSprouts · 26/05/2022 21:10

My thoughts are with you as you go through this night. I'm so sorry and hope nature defies the doctors assessment.

bloodywhitecat · 26/05/2022 21:10

I am so sorry OP, wishing you the strength to get through the coming days and weeks and also praying for a miracle Flowers

Findingapath · 26/05/2022 21:12

Praying for a miracle for you and your family xx

MadeForThis · 26/05/2022 21:14

I'm so so sorry xx

Teenagehorrorbag · 26/05/2022 21:15

I'm so so sorry!!! Sending all love and prayers.

Planker · 26/05/2022 21:16

So so sorry OP.

xx

Pompom2367 · 26/05/2022 21:19

I'm. So sorry op

BooksAndChooks · 26/05/2022 21:19

Also praying for a miracle. 💐

MiniDinosaur · 26/05/2022 21:20

I am so sorry, you have been in my thoughts since I read your first message. Your lovely boy will know that you are with him, he will feel your love. Sending you hope and strength.

marthamydear · 26/05/2022 21:21

Thinking of you at this time. I am so sorry and remember he knows you love him. x

Ijsbear · 26/05/2022 21:21

I'm so sorry @JungleZgok

A close acquaintance lost her daughter, who took the choice that your son has taken. . At the funeral she said that she did not understand child's choice but that she respected that the pain had grown too much and that the decision was hers to take.

She will mourn her daughter all her life - so will many othrs, she was an amazing young woman. But her daughter died knowing she was loved and in the end, her mum had to respect that her daughter was her own person and life was too much for her.

Do not bear guilt, your love for you son shines out. You have done all you can Flowers

Bridie20 · 26/05/2022 21:26

I’m so sorry xxxx

ThreeLocusts · 26/05/2022 21:27

OP my late best friend lost her son to suicide. I'll light a candle tonight and think of both of you. Wishing you strength 💐

Cactuslockdown · 26/05/2022 21:28

I’m so so sorry OP. x

TicTac80 · 26/05/2022 21:29

Just seen this, and your posts, and I wish with all my heart I could take the pain you have away. Sending you all so much love and prayers x

tortiecat · 26/05/2022 21:32

Thinking of and praying and hoping for you and your family OP Flowers

tortiecat · 26/05/2022 21:32

Thinking of and praying and hoping for you and your family OP Flowers

smileyworld · 26/05/2022 21:34

I'm so sorry OP

Londongirl78 · 26/05/2022 21:41

I'm so very sorry, thinking of you & your family ❤️

toomanychickens · 26/05/2022 21:46

I'm so sorry JungleZgok. I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts x

Whoopsmahoot · 26/05/2022 21:46

My heart is breaking for you.

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