For Anyone Needing Support After Losing a Parent. Very Supportive Thread (March 2022) )

[Crunchymum]

I hope no-one minds me starting a new thread, the old one is almost full.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/4352163-For-Anyone-Needing-Support-After-Losing-a-Parent-Very-Supportive-Thread-September-2021

As always lots of love and strength and support to you all xxx

Hi guys,

I have started a new thread, just so there is a place for us to share our feelings and offer our support

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/bereavement/4932881-for-anyone-needing-support-after-losing-a-parent-very-supportive-thread-november-2023

im a new poster on this thread.
Heartbroken to say that we lost my beautiful Dad on 27th December.

He had metastatic cancer. Had tried radiotherapy, several rounds of chemotherapy, had an inoperable tumour.

I am numb at the moment, trying to support my Mum as well. Exhausted and drained.

Not sure how to find comfort at the moment

Hello everyone. My mum died about a year and a half ago. I cared for her for quite some time beforehand though she was more independent and then she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and became bedbound. She was a wonderful woman. I miss her so much and I cannot cope. I don’t have any family left now either. I am so lonely.

Hi all,

My dad died suddenly in Aug 23. He was 66 years old. He was found at home by my brother dead and he worked on him and so did the 2 ambulance crews but we think he had been dead for a few hours prior.

I was next of kin, so I've dealt with everything, paid for the funeral as he had no payment plan. Cleared the house, as it was council owned.

I had (as did my brother) a difficult relationship with my father. My parents split up when I was 11 and my brother 3. I stayed with dad to look after him and my brother went with mum.

I have a very very different memory of my childhood to my brother. I'm struggling to grieve. My brother is a mess.

I'm angry about an awful lot of things and the fact he shut me out towards the end as he was living in a hovel with bedbugs.

I didn't know, it was hidden from me so I'm also struggling with guilt of him dying like that and sleeping on mattresses on the living room floor.

I feel so conflicted and my head and heart hurts so much. I'm broken, holding it together for everyone else. I'm 43 and have an older family but I'm not coping.

This post is EXTREMELY outing, so if you read it and recognise me-know that this post is coming from a place of desperation.

My dad passed away in February 2021, my grandmother in April 2022, and my mom in December 2023. My mom's passing has hit me really hard. She seemed to have given up on life. I had talked with her about moving in to help her with house chores and to help her in general. She had severe osteoporosis and was very clumsy. She had stumbled and fractured her feet which was taking a long time to heal. My husband really didn't want to move in and sell our home. He felt he wouldn't have his space or his things. I could understand, in a way, but I promised my dad I would take care of my mom. I am the middle child but I have taken the role of medical provider for most of my family. Around Thanksgiving mom was diagnosed with heart failure and put on the medication, Lasix. She became extremely dehydrated. I took her to the hospital and to the doctors. Eventually she passed away in December 2023 with organ failure. I keep thinking if I was at home with her I could have made sure she was eating and drinking correctly. I would have seen the signs of dehydration. I could have prevented her death. She may not have been strong enough to fight long but I could have helped her be stronger to start off. Her first great grandson was born on January 20, 2024. She never got to hold him. AIBU that I realized I have a bit of anger/resentment against my husband for not agreeing to moving into my mom's house earlier? I am upset at myself for not doing more but I look at him and I feel anger at him also. How do I handle all this pain and loss?

Can't believe 6 yrs without mum and closing in on a year of dad .its so hard.i feel so lonely now looking after dad was everything! I was so lucky .

Thats so sad but you really did a lot. Its ok to feel others haven't but try to remember what you got back. Maybe others weren't as strong?

Feeling low today and lonely