My amazing husband has died suddenly tonight

[Sockofthefall]

I am broken. Our adult children are devastated. Today, 13th October is our wedding anniversary , 30 years. Being in the house is so painful, filled with wonderful memories of an amazing husband & friend. He was such a good dad , but I want him back with me in our bed, laughing & chatting. How do I cope? I don’t know where to start

So sorry for your loss xx You will cope one hour at a time x

I'm so sorry.

So sorry, what an awful shock for you and your children [ flowers] Take one hour at a time x

@MEgirl What a lovely thing to do. My husband loved Gregory Porter too. Hoping today is gentle on you.

@PrawnofthePatriarchy

"His death was nothing compared to his life." What a beautiful way of putting it. Thank you.

Really sorry for your loss OP.

I hope that you, your sons and the rest of your family can get through this over time and remember the great times that you had as a family.

I hope today hasn't been too awful for you OP. Fingers crossed you get some sleep tonight.

Ladies thank you so much for your support. I have made a note of all the advice & will use the strategies in the coming days. Those of you who have suffered this experience thank you for sharing.

I have been so busy today, I didn’t see the Trolls opinions but am so grateful to you all.

This quote
"His death was nothing compared to his life."

This has given such a warm feeling, thank you. My boys are sorting out dinner for me. As you have said day by day. I am grateful to you all x

Sending love and kindness @Sockofthefall.

One day at a time now. X

Sending more love and support your way.

I'm so sorry, OP, I'm sure no words can bring you any comfort at the moment.

My Russian husband's father died on New Year's Eve and DH tells me there's a Russian saying that translates roughly as "Happy people die on celebration days." It's so odd that your husband died on your anniversary. The anniversary of his death is also the anniversary of your marriage, so something to celebrate as well as to mourn. It's early days yet, but I am sure you have many happy memories to cherish and perhaps that will bring you comfort in the years to come. 💗

Sometimes it helps to talk about your loved one so if you would like to tell us about him we would love to hear

Oh OP, I'm so sorry xx big hugs to you

sockofthefall I saw a leaflet today for a helpline called Sudden you can call them on 0800 2600 400. Hope you are being looked after x

Just another poster offering these

We're here if you want to tell us about DH, absolutely fine if not, we're still here either way.

I have been inundated with love & kind words for my lovely man. Sorted funeral etc which was a major thing. We even managed to laugh talking about past memories of him. His death was totally unexpected. We had so many plans, but my sons, family & friends have been so good. I took advice regarding number of death certificates (so thank you whoever said that!).
The kindness of strangers on Mumsnet got me through that first night.

I feel robbed of my future & life.

Kisses & hugs to you all 😘

Really feeling for you and thinking of you @Sockofthefall - can't imagine the pain that you're going through, but so glad that you are surrounded by people who love you.

Take care of yourself and your boys.

I'm really glad that we were able to offer you support. It's a shit thing to have happened but it won't hurt this badly forever. The important thing is the love you shared and your lovely family.

Hi Socks. How is it going? I'm glad you were able to organise the funeral and are getting support. Those moments of laughter will help to get you through.

On a practical note, and I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned it but if you have to inform different companies and organisations about your loss, they often have a dedicated bereavement section who are trained to make this easier for you

• so it's worth asking if you have to phone up.

Thank you for remembering me. I’m not good. The stress of funeral numbers is giving me anxiety. A lovely problem as it shows how respected & loved by so many he was . However, the crematorium still limiting numbers/time. Think it’s done now. I’m broken like so many others on this forum. Seeing my sons pain is hard to witness . Lots of food support & friends but I don’t want to see anyone. I have seen a few friends but essentially just want to lock myself away . He was my everything. I would read on Mumsnet about how badly husbands/partners treated their wives. It always shocked me as my husband was so good. Always a team, despite his highly stressful job. I’m grateful to have had him in my life.

@Sockofthefall can the Crem do zoom broadcasts? I know that earlier in the pandemic my parents "attended" a couple of funerals like that, so they could pay their respects without physically being there. That'd help take the pressure off attendee numbers a bit.

And don't worry about going a bit hermit at this stage - if you need to limit your activities in order to reserve your energy for the immediate priorities, that's understandable.

I am so sorry xxxx

I am rapidly going downhill. Being without him is like death from a thousand cuts , every memory is destroying me. Since his funeral I am just spending hours screaming into the pillow so my sons can’t hear. I know I have to go on because that is what he would have wanted. I have joined bereavement groups but it just seems to go on forever the pain & I don’t know if I can do that . I am in pieces, I know it’s still early days but how do you cope. I do one day at a time but it’s slowly killing me .

Oh bless you @Sockofthefall. I really wish there was something I could say that would help. I think it is just day by day or even minute by minute. You’ll get there.

I'm so sorry Sock for the intense pain you're going through.

You asked how to cope. I was not in your situation because we all knew MrW was going to die. Even so, I got myself down to the GP and kept going back until I had the right medication. I don't need it anymore but at the time it smoothed out my feelings until I was better able to process them. Counselling came later for me but it was very helpful.