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Bereavement

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Original poster

My amazing husband has died suddenly tonight

151 replies

Sockofthefall · 13/10/2021 01:09

I am broken. Our adult children are devastated. Today, 13th October is our wedding anniversary , 30 years. Being in the house is so painful, filled with wonderful memories of an amazing husband & friend. He was such a good dad , but I want him back with me in our bed, laughing & chatting. How do I cope? I don’t know where to start

OP posts:
Autumnscene · 13/10/2021 04:16

It’s incredibly sad when this happens, and the hardest days to get through leading up to the funeral, you know we are all here for you sockofthefall Flowers

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/10/2021 04:19

Oh goodness, what an awful shock - I'm so sorry Sockofthefall.

Thanks for you and your family - and lots of strength to you all.

Handholding from down under for you.

MimiDaisy11 · 13/10/2021 04:36

So sorry to hear this x

PurpleFlower1983 · 13/10/2021 04:45

I am so so sorry Flowers

SheikhLaBootie · 13/10/2021 05:00

I'm so sorry to hear this. As everyone says, just take things one day at a time, grief is an entirely personal journey, nothing you do or say in the following days is wrong, just put one foot in front of the other. My heart goes out to you and your family.

JS06 · 13/10/2021 05:18

Sending you all best wishes in what is a very sad time xx

MrsLargeEmbodied · 13/10/2021 06:42

I am so sorry for your loss op Thanks

Lougle · 13/10/2021 06:46

I am so sorry, especially as he has died on your anniversary. I hope you got some sleep in the end and you have great support over the coming weeks and months.

YeOldeTrout · 13/10/2021 06:48

What happened, Sock?
Who is supporting you?

gofg · 13/10/2021 06:49

I'm so sorry for you and your family. Flowers

Mollymalone123 · 13/10/2021 06:49

I’m so very sorry for your loss 💐

Bluetrews25 · 13/10/2021 06:56

Love to you and your DCs and friends, Sock
We can all feel your raw pain.
Big hugs.

MaryBeery · 13/10/2021 06:57

Oh @Sockofthefall, I'm so sorry for your loss. While it probably seems massively unfair right now to lose your husband on such a special day, one small consolation is that next year will have two difficult anniversaries combined in to one for you.

How do you cope? Trial and error mainly. Are you the kind of person that needs to always be doing something, or are you not really able to concentrate on anything? Unfortunately a death in the family brings a lot of tedious admin that you could really do without (the gov.uk website has a step by step guide if you're UK based) but you're not really going to be able to get started on that until the post-mortem has been done and the death certificate has been issued. One thing you can do now though, is put his details on The Bereavement Register and Telephone Preference Service so you're not getting junk mail and telemarketing calls for him.

On a more personal level, you may find it helps to take his pyjamas or another item of clothing that he's worn recently, and put it aside in one of those vacuum packing bags, as there may be times when having something that still smells of him is a comfort. Similarly, backing up copies of his phone voicemail message, or any recent video you have of him, so you can hear his voice, or his laugh and see his smile or even his cheesy dad dancing, would be a good idea. If you're not very good with tech, you may need the kids to help you with that though.

Above all, be kind to yourself, and remember that even though it does get easier in time, it's not a linear process, and sometimes the stupidest little things will knock you sideways. But you can get through this. Flowers

katmarie · 13/10/2021 07:00

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I have no advice, other than to be as kind as you can to yourself, and to ask for help as much as you need to. Now is the time to lean on others, and let them help you. Take it one step at a time. I can't imagine the pain you are in.

DomPom47 · 13/10/2021 07:01

Sorry for your loss and that of your family 💐
Grief comes and goes, just when you think you have healed and moved on you can get swept up in sadness once again.
You need to be kind to yourself so you can process what has happened and deal with things a day at a time. Don’t feel the need to get things sorted on the practical side straight sways. A day at a time at your own pace.
Think of your relationship and all your happy memories.

Workinghardeveryday · 13/10/2021 07:04

I am so sorry for your loss xxx

Auroreforet · 13/10/2021 07:11

So sorry for you and your dc. Flowers

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/10/2021 07:12

I am so sorry. I hope you’re getting some sleep right now. Flowers

coodawoodashooda · 13/10/2021 07:14

I am so sorry to hear such devastating news.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 13/10/2021 07:17

Sending love and thinking of you and your family today.

Original poster
Sockofthefall · 13/10/2021 07:19

Thank you all for your support & advice. It helped me through the night. My friendly strangers thank Flowers

OP posts:
lisaandalan · 13/10/2021 07:20

Sorry for your loss, thinking of you, sending hugs 🤗 xxxx

Standrewsschool · 13/10/2021 07:26

Sorry for your loss

Elderflower14 · 13/10/2021 07:26

I am so sorry. Sending huge hugs 💐 💐

Cheermonger · 13/10/2021 07:30

I am so so sorry for your loss and will think of you throughout the day as you begin to process what’s happened. Much love x