DP has died. Don't know what to do.

[LlamaGiles]

My beloved DP died last night after routine surgery. A total shock. We have a 2 year old. We had plans for a second child, a bigger house and marriage and my future all evaporated in an instant. I don't know how to carry on alone. I'm in bits.

My heart literally is aching reading that. So sorry for your loss

Oh I am so sorry for your loss

I lost my dad 5 weeks ago and I agree with a pp to write things down as you think of them/they happen. I couldn't and still can't absorb anything long term right now and it helps to look back.

Thinking of you x

I'm so sorry for your loss

and deepest sympathy.

I'm so sorry, this is so sad

I haven't read the whole thread, but I am a week on from you, my DH died very suddenly last week. I don't have any great advice but know how utterly shit this is. Do you have people with you for support? I have my parents for practical support and offers of emotional support though I agree that if people ask how they can help I have no idea.
My DC are 6 and 10, and I have to keep putting 1 foot in front of the other for them however hard it is. I have to take them to school, make meals, attempt to put them to bed (not very successfully, they have both slept in my bed). I am exhausted, mentally and physically, and there is so much to sort out, including choosing a secondary school for DC1 and arranging a birthday party for DC2. I suspect it hasn't really truly hit me that he is never coming home.
I have to go now to take DC to the opticians, but will come back when I have chance, or feel free to PM me (hoping I can work out how PMs work on here)
Take care.
One step in front of the other. One day at a time is far too overwhelming at the minute, just one minute at a time.

Sending a huge hug your way Llama, am thinking if you. Your DP will always be a special part of your life and you will find a way through for you and your daughter. So sorry for your loss

Heart breaking
So very sorry for your terrible loss x

I’m so sorry your going through this xx

What an awful shock for you.

badlydrawnbear sending you thoughts and how difficult for you.

@whatthehelldowecare Thank you so, so much for sharing that. That's all I hope for for my DD.

I am so sorry to hear this OP. I also lost my husband suddenly in a road accident last month, so I am going through the grief process. My situation is different because I am older than you and my children are young adults. They are finding it very hard to bear losing their dad, but it gave us all some comfort to design a moving funeral for him.

Peachgreen wrote a wonderful post above, and I have little to add to that. I saw that another poster advised getting multiple copies of the death certificate. Instead of doing that, I made a scanned copy of the certificate and I have been sending that by email where it was needed. No company or organisation has so far asked for an original paper copy.

Be gentle with yourself. Much love to you.

So sorry to read of your loss, Llama, how shocking for you all!
I'm glad that your sister is with you and is helping you with phonecalls, and agree that it would be a very good idea to just call a couple of friends and ask them to tell others, and to field return calls as well.

There is a "concentric ring" model, with you and your DD (and PILs) at the centre as being the most affected - you should be able to rely on people in the next ring out, and they in turn need to gain help and support from another ring out, not from you. So all the support is going inwards (I'm not explaining it well, I'm sorry) but no one is expecting anything of you that you are not able to give.

Take all offers of help now that you can bear - and contact people who ask you to let them know if you need anything. Even if it's just "could you please come and help me with housework today, I just can't bear it".

I see peachgreen has already seen and posted on the thread, and offered up Widowed and Young, and Winston's Wish - very useful organisations, please contact them when you are ready.

for you - so sorry you are going through this. x

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Sending you much love. It is desperately unfair.

@peachgreen, I remember your thread about your husband. Very glad that you and your daughter are doing better.

@badlydrawnbear to you. So sorry for your loss as well.

I’m so so sorry to hear this. You and your DD are in my thoughts. Just take it literally one breath and one step at a time. Accept any help offered and ask for whatever you need.💙

So sorry, @LlamaGiles. I lost my partner very suddenly last November, so I'm all too aware of the hell you're going through.

At the moment, you're probably still in shock (I know I was - I remember next to nothing about the first two days of the loss). Accept help from anyone who offers - friends, family, colleagues, neighbours - and talk about him as much as you can.

It seems inconcievable now, I know, but it will get easier. Above all, be kind to yourself.

God I'm so sorry, this is horrendous. I have no advice but I'm thinking of you and your daughter xx

I'm so sorry to read of your loss . This happened to my SIL when my brother died suddenly under similar circumstances to yours. The shock is horrendous.

What I will say is that she has managed to carve out a life for her and the children and I admire her strength and fortitude. It's time my lovely, you need time to grieve once the practicalities are dealt with. Take offers of help, lean on people. I'm truly sorry you are having to go through this and I wish you and your little one well.

No advice, but just wanted to say I’m so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss Llama and you must be feeling so dreadfully sad. I lost my husband a while ago but still get low moments about it from time to time. It's still raw just now for you but time will smooth away the rough edges. It does get easier - you just learn to live with it. The old cliche 'be kind to yourself' applies here. It really will get easier I promise you.

I am so sorry @LlamaGiles

And sorry to other PP who have suffered similar losses