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Original poster

It's my daughters birthday today

157 replies

naynayisay · 20/08/2021 00:23

She should be three. She died unexpectedly in her sleep last November from misdiagnosed bronchiolitis.

I don't know what to do with myself. We're going up to her grave to put up a little fence and lay down some flowers later. I don't know how to honour her without crying all day. I don't feel like I can face anyone or anything.

I miss her so much. The older children have been fine in the run up to her birthday (10 and 13) and DH is being strong. I feel like I'm the only one who's screaming inside.

OP posts:
yourestandingonmyneck · 20/08/2021 12:16

I remember your post from last year. As soon as I thought this thread I wondered if it was little Wyatt.

So that's been a year already. You're doing great.

I'm so sorry you are all going through this. She was obviously a very loved little girl.

Sending you lots of love xxx

yourestandingonmyneck · 20/08/2021 12:18

Sorry, I see it's Wyatt's birthday; I thought it was a year since she died.

Happy 3rd Birthday to your little angel.

Hope you are doing ok xx

BigFatLiar · 20/08/2021 12:20

Sorry to hear about this awful day, full of memories and loss.
Have a talk to your DH.
DH is being strong. I feel like I'm the only one who's screaming inside.
I doubt you're the only one screaming inside, he probably needs to know its ok to grieve. Sometimes they think its not manly.
Hope you get through the day ok

TableFlowerss · 20/08/2021 12:20

@blindspots

Thank you everyone.

@naynayisay my son is Benjamin. He was 2yrs and 2 months when he died. Just a lovely little boy.

I remember reading about Wyatt last year, an absolutely beautiful little girl and such a heartbreaking story.

I think if you just want to spend the rest of the day crying that is completely fine. If you are any thing like me I find that it's better just to let the tears come when they are there. I think about him everyday, someday's are "easier" than others but nothing is easy now.

Our two little forever 2 year olds x x

Sending you love too for your beautiful little boy 💙💙💙 xxxx
Debetswell · 20/08/2021 12:21

I too remember your post.
So heartbreaking for you and your family.
Happy birthday Wyatt angel.

Thinking of you OP. X

Mammyloveswine · 20/08/2021 12:22

I can remember reading your posts too...sending so much ❤️ your way. I have a 3 year old and I just can't even imagine what you must be going through.

Please cry if you need to, and allow yourself to grieve in many different ways. There are no rules.

Wyatt Rose was such a beautiful little girl with such a fabulous personality, it made me smile reading about her.

@blindspots I'm so so sorry that you are also experiencing such a terrible loss Thanks

yourestandingonmyneck · 20/08/2021 12:25

@blindspots sending lots of love to you and your darling little Benjamin xx

SirVixofVixHall · 20/08/2021 12:29

I remember your posts , and your beautiful little girl. I am so terribly sorry. Her beaming smile is so gorgeous, her personality shining out from those pictures.

beastlyslumber · 20/08/2021 12:30

I'm so sorry. It is painful even to think about what you and your family are going through Flowers

bearlyactive · 20/08/2021 12:34

I remember Wyatt Rose and your thread about her too. You all really stuck in my mind and I think of you often. I lit a candle for her when I was in a church a couple of weeks ago. Sending Flowers

ElliottSmithsfingers · 20/08/2021 12:41

I also remember you OP, and your beautiful little girl. Haven't got much to offer, just a virtual hug from afar.

MrsSDK · 20/08/2021 14:01

I'm so sorry xx

Original poster
naynayisay · 20/08/2021 15:42

Thank you all so much for being around for me today. It's really helped coming here and seeing messages and candles. I've tried to keep busy and craft to get through the day until dinner time.

DH has been my absolute rock. He's out working in the shed today and keeps coming in to check on me and make me a cup of coffee. We're all so lucky to have him as a husband and father. I know he feels it too but he's not a crier. He cried for the first two months and he's now processing it all internally. I keep checking on him too which is probably annoying but he lets me do it and doesn't make a big deal out of it which is nice of him. I feel like if I'm checking in that I'm somehow helping.

I've experienced loss before. My mother, my grandmother (they both raised me so like dual mum's essentially) and friends but nothing in the whole wide world compares to this aching emptiness. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and it hurts my soul to know that people have been dealing with this and will be dealing with this forever. We got so lucky to have her for two short years. Life will always lack as much colour for me as it did when she was here.

OP posts:
WorkingItOutAsIGo · 20/08/2021 16:35

I am still here, holding your hand as you get through the day. I wonder whether you might perhaps find it helpful to make Wyatt Rose a birthday cake? This will be a tough date for you all every year and beginning to establish some rituals may help you get through that aching emptiness you describe. I just suggest the cake as a friend who has been through similar does this each year - cake on a favourite beach to cry and remember and also celebrate.

veryblearyeyed · 20/08/2021 18:34

Just checking in with another hand hold. I’m in Canada, so your love for Wyatt Rose is so strong it’s being spread around the world. Flowers

And Flowers to blindspots too. I’m so sorry.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 20/08/2021 20:47

I’m glad you’ve got through the day, and that the messages from people here have helped.

It sounds like you and your husband are very lucky to have each other.

I will think of you and your family often now that I have read about your lovely daughter. Sending love to you. xx

wheresthehope · 21/08/2021 08:10

@blindspots much love to you and your family aswel Flowers

Vallmo47 · 21/08/2021 08:17

I have no words. I’m very sorry.

userxx · 21/08/2021 08:23

I remember you and your little girl. 💐

XJerseyGirlX · 21/08/2021 08:29

I'm so sorry , she is absolutely beautiful. I have no idea what to say but have tears in my eyes reading your love for her. Sending my own love to you op xx

AlmostSummer21 · 21/08/2021 08:35

I'm so sorry I missed your thread yesterday. I have been looking out for you, but you name changed!

I often think of Wyatt Rose & your family, the photo you posted with her standing near the sideboard with chaos around her and her 'and?' Expression often pops into my mind, as well as the swing and her with her mask.

It's not right & it's not fair! She should be here! Cry & shout as much as you need to!

I hope you feel a little less 'tense' today, birthdays/anniversaries are hard, the grief isn't any easier after but there's less 'expectation' of being/doing/feeling/marking... and just more time to just 'be'

Like many others have said Wyatt Rose will be remembered by many of us, always 🍄🌸

Much love 💕

DoTheNextRightThing · 21/08/2021 08:38

She’s gorgeous. I'm so, so sorry Thanks

AlmostSummer21 · 21/08/2021 08:42

@blindspots. I'm so very sorry to hear about your Benjamin 💜

No words can change your loss, but lots of strength & hugs to help you get through each day xx

kissmelittleass · 21/08/2021 08:44

You're daughter is beautiful I'm so very sorry you have to go through this pain x

NotMyDayJob · 21/08/2021 08:48

I remember you OP and your posts, and the horror when you updated. There is nothing I can say, other than how terribly sorry I am, but I remember Wyatt Rose. Take care of yourself OP x