My mum has died suddenly

[kittlesticks]

My wonderful mum has died suddenly - I'm not sure of the exact details yet - she was 68, a wonderful mum, wife and grandma to three grandchildren aged 1 to 6.
I will miss her until the end of time. I loved her immeasurably.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I am thinking about you and your family. 💐

@StarlingsDarlings thank you. I did love her so much. She was just so wonderful to me and I know I was very lucky to have her for as long as I did.

@SecretWitch thank you

I'm so sorry

I am four years on from losing my mum and it gets easier, I was super close to my mum like you were and although I miss her all the time I certainly begin to feel happiness

I used to read this sometimes and it helped explained how I was feeling

www.ofieldfuneralhome.com/grief-from-the-perspective-of-an-old-man

I'm wo sorry for you loss OP xxx

*so sorry rather xxx

It's that time in the morning when it all comes back. Why did it have to be MY mum?

Oh @kittlesticks I'm so sorry for your loss. You sound like such a wonderful person - loving, appreciative, kind. I don't know you but I can tell your mother must have been so very proud of you. DH has a photo album he made of his wonderful DM after she died and he talks to the children of her often using the album. In time, when things aren't so raw, you may find some comfort from doing something similar. DH finds it helped. Thinking of you and your family.

Your love for your Mum absolutely shines through your grief and pain. This unbearable, physical reaction to losing her is inescapable - you just have to do your best. If your best today is Paw Patrol for the children and huge wracking sobs, so be it.

You have lost your compass. It will take time before you feel anything less than directionless. Your darling mum sounds amazing, I am so sorry you are going through this.

Thank you all. I'm just trying to hold on today. I think that's all I can do today.

Hello there,

My mum died 2 weeks ago now. We had her funeral on Thursday. Everting you describe us how I have been feeling and how I feel. Wobbly, like I’m floating. We planned the funeral and it was almost like “once this is over I will go and see my mum”…if didn’t feel real and it still doesn’t feel real. I am truly heartbroken 💔
I didn’t want to ignore your post.

Work wise - I don’t know when I will go back. I’ve been off since she died two weeks ago. I left work on Friday 18th June when I got the call to say to get to the hospital and I haven’t been back.

@harverina I am so sorry you are here with me.
If you want to talk I'm here.
I went to the shops today and can only describe it as being dazed and wondering how the world is continuing.
I feel as if someone just rubbed my mum out of the world. This was just a split second thing - one minute she was here next she was gone.
My thoughts are with you. We also have the funeral next week.

@kittlesticks it’s awful isn’t it 😔 my friend is 40 and we have her dinner tonight - my 5 closest friends. I cancelled but my husband has talked me into going for an hour. I struggled to even get ready - it was like I didn’t know what to do. I now that sounds dramatic but I am just all over the place.

I think about her at every minute of the day.

Message me anytime you need to talk 💕

@harverina I hope you are ok today don't beat yourself up about going out - I haven't been even contemplating anything beyond the shops to get milk.

I've had a very low day and can only guess that's because it's Sunday when of course family tended to take priority, centred around Mum. I worry I will struggle to find my place without her. Also I worry I will never get over losing her so suddenly. It's a mad time.

Your mum sounds lovely. I'm so sorry x

I'm so sorry for your loss. You both sound like lovely people with a special connection and it must be so painful to lose her. I'm very close to my Mum too and dread the day she'll be gone. My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the strength to go on.

Thank you. She was lovely. She remains a lovely and fully alive person in my head - at times I can really imagine us talking even now. I think I can only hope to be a decent mum to my kids right now.

I feel as if the world cares about me less. That person who loved me completely unconditionally is gone. I'm hoping it's normal to feel the world has less love in it for me, even tho I have children.

Its early days OP; very sorry for the loss of your lovely mum.
Time will help though it will be hard to think this where you are now. Its so raw and painful.
My GP helped as I felt a bit disconnected from the world.
I used to think ' why my kind, fabulous, friendly funny, animal- loving mum when there are so many horrible people out there?'
In time though and it can take a while, you'll remember the things she said, the songs she loved, the films she enjoyed; with a smile.
I'm now at the stage where DH says 'you're turning into your mum'
And I can see her when I look in the mirror!!!
I have started to write down the funny expressions and things she used to say that my sisters and I still laugh about.
But I'll always miss her
Wishing you strength 💐

I just wanted to tell you (with firm authority ) that kids are insulated by nature's narcissism and will have absolutely no memory of you crying. You will not damage them.

Secondly, I don't believe your Mum would tell you you just have to 'get on with it'. She would know the utter pain you are going through and want you to do whatever you could to be kind and loving to yourself.

Thirdly, keep getting signed off. Believe me when I say you will never be glad you went back too early.

Fourthly, is there a 'place' where you feel your Mum around you the most? When my Dad died I feel really close to him in our local shopping centre and used to find it weirdly comforting to go there to think of him.

Fifthly, talk to your Mum in your head, tell her how you feel, 'listen' to her voice. My Dad had a really inappropriate, dry sense of humour and when I had head conversations with him, it would make me laugh.

Keep going, minute by minute. I hope I can be half the Mum your Mum was, she should be an inspiration to us all.

@MrsBobDylan lovely words. Thank you.
We said goodbye today.
I feel fundamentally broken. Exhausted. Trying hard for the kids then letting the tears flow when they are in bed.

The last few days have been so tough. I'm not usually like this - I'm usually strong and energetic - but since this happened I sort of just want to get into a boat on a calm sea and drift off.
Back to my mum, my childhood, that safety you only have with your mum.

Is anyone there for a virtual handhold, or a virtual

Dear OP, I’m so sorry for your loss and that you’re having such a tough time, your Mum sounds wonderful. I don’t have any wise words but I wanted to send my condolences and give you a virtual hug.

@kittlesticks please can you private message me I don't know how to do it x