My husband died suddenly today- I couldn’t save him

[Etotheipiplus1equals0]

My 48 year old husband died this morning. We don’t know why but it was probably a massive heart attack. I found him face down wedged between furniture and making grunting noises. I called 999 but it took me ages to get him out and on his back as he is big and I am small. I did cpr and the paramedics worked on him for over an hour but there was no response. My poor kids witnessed a lot of this (9 and 6). I am lost. I keep imagining if I’d just got him out quicker and started cpr sooner he might still be alive. How do I stop picturing his face as he died? I miss him so much and the kids are so young. I’m just not sure I can get through it

I am so sorry that you and others have gone through this.

There are no words of wisdom from me. Nothing I can say that will make this any easier for you.

But, if I may, one thing sang from your posts.

Despite the stresses we always had love.

May the comfort of that love still hold you in the days to come and may it help you find some peace.

There will always be your love. Always.

I’m sorry for your loss, I can’t begin to fathom how you are all feeling and I’m glad you have support to help you

So sorry for your loss. I hope you and your children find comfort x

I am so so sorry to hear this. Nothing you did would have saved him. Sending hugs xxx

I am so sad to read this, especially when it is someone so good and so loved and such a great person. Condolences to all the families of lost loved ones. I think we all should love harder in life because you never know when it will happen. I hope your babies will cope. Prayers for you all x

So sorry for your loss OP, what a dreadful shock 💐

Sending hugs 💐

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It will be so raw right now, make sure you take all the support you can. One breath at a time.

I lost my husband young, there is a charity Widowed and Young which can offer you peer to peer support. I’ve found it very helpful. Xxx

I’m so sorry to hear of your terrible loss and the circumstances in which you lost him. What a horrible shock. My FIL died of a massive heart attack in front of my DH and I. It was one of the most traumatic things I’ve lived through and there have been a few. My DH did CPR until the ambulance arrived and the paramedics took over. There was no saving him. The doctors told us that he pretty much died instantly and there was nothing we could have done differently that would have saved him. You did everything humanly possible for your DH so please don’t blame yourself. Make sure you have lots of support around you while you come to terms with it and see about some grief counselling for yourself and children if needed. Just take one day at a time and be kind yourself. Children are more adaptable than adults and will cope better than you think. Let them know it’s ok to cry and ok to talk about him. I saw a programme once about children losing a parent and one of the things the counsellors did was encourage the children to keep a memory box with photos and things that reminded them of happy times with their dad. Take care of yourself, Sending you a huge hug 💐

So very very sorry. You did everything you could. My heart goes out to you xx

I'm so sorry

OP I’m so sorry for your loss .
@Puffler has written a lovely post , which is so thoughtful.
Your children will be fine , please take the best care of yourself and accept all offers of help .

So very sorry to hear this has happened to you and your family.

I was widowed aged 32 - different circumstances and my husband died in hospital.

As other people have recommended, when you are ready, Widowed and Young is a fantastic charity run by those who have been widowed, for young widows. Another charity I would recommend is Care for the Family Widowed Young Support- these both helped me immensely.

The shock and thoughts you're having currently will seem overwhelming right now. Take things one day, one minute as a time right now. Glad you have people with you right now.

XxX

I’m so sorry . Take all the help for as long as you need. Don’t try and cope on your own.

So very sorry for your loss x

So sorry OP, life is so bloody cruel. Open your arms to all the help and support you havenfrom.famiky and friends. It's impossible to imagine right now but you will all get through this but you can't do it all on your own so accept the help in whatever form that may be.

You must not carry any guilt, there really was nothing you could have done to change things.

Take care and allow others to look after you too

So sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock for you. 💐

You were with him at the end. He would have known you were there and felt your love. He did not pass alone. When a loved one passes very suddenly it is easier for them than months of illness and pain, but very harsh on the ones left behind. I hope you have people to support you I am sure someone will be on this thread all night in case you need company. Do very sorry for your loss.

My dad had a massive heart attack in front of me, nothing I could do. Just like you. Please don't blame yourself. So sorry for your loss.

He sounds like such a lovely man, OP.

I’m so sorry for your loss 💐 x

I'm so so sorry for your loss. He sounds absolutely lovely, and your love for him shines through your posts.

I am so so sorry to read this. You must still be in terrible shock. Your head must be racing, but your family, friends and community will I am sure support you and you won’t have to carry this on your own. I understand Winstons Wish can offer tremendous support.

I'm so sorry.