For Anyone Needing Support After Losing A Parent. Very Supportive Thread

[Mummylin]

Luckily I was keeping my eye on the thread so it would of been ok. Hopefully this new thread will once again bring comfort to newly bereaved.
To the newest posters, I wish you all the best in the coming weeks / months.
And to the longer term posters, thankyou for being such a support to each other. 💐

@Cherrycee I would believe it ☺ Molly's are the best ♥
It is good when these memories can make us smile and bloom our heart. It hurts when it pains them.
I feel your mum and dad and Molly are all together.
I know my mum saw Molly waiting for her. Plus two other beloveds. I am fortunate to have had mum tell me what she saw so close to her passing.
And now come the tears. 😢
Sending love.

Thank you @Spiritwriter. It's lovely that your mum was able to tell you that, it must be so comforting. They'll be having their silly chats again

Yes Molly's are definitely the best!

Thank you @Cherrycee x yes, I'm sure they are both my guardians now, and I like to think of their silly chats ☺
I hope you can find some comfort, too. X

I just wanted to pop in today to say to everyone who will be experiencing their first Mother's Day without their dear mum that I hope that it's not too painful for you.

Probably a few tears , but maybe some happy memories of the past too.
And for the other posters who have already gone past this stage, we too can think of happy memories.
Mother's Day is one of the " first " special days we have to get through, but sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual day.
Whatever your thoughts for tomorrow, I just wanted you all to know that someone will be thinking of you all.💐💐💐

Thank you@Mummylin I just so wish she was here. I always made a homemade afternoon tea with proper scones and clotted cream she loved it. Also I would buy her a bundle of new clothes too as she never spoilt herself
This reality hurts

I've been trying to join the group but haven't had the guts....
My Mum died a week ago. She had had a fall in May, brought on massive vascular dementia, and I couldn't really see her owing to Covid/us being at the other end of the country. Saw her twice before she died- thank you NHS and the nurses- and tomorrow I have to go to the funeral home to sort the service booklet.
On Mothers Day
It was only ever me and her so bar DH, having to do all the sorting alone

@NorthernChinchilla I'm so sorry you lost your mum. You must be in shock at the moment. These first few weeks are hard and so strange but you will get through it. Make sure you lean on your DH and supportive friends when you can. Wishing you all the strength for tomorrow

So sorry @NorthernChinchilla and sorry you don't have more support you shouldn't have to do it alone it's hard enough

I'm so grateful to you all....
Today is the hardest. And I know it will be bloody awful for so many on here

Sorry to see the new posters joining. Sending you all strength for these early days and beyond.

For those of us who woke today without our mother's in our world, I send you all my heartfelt love on this Mothering Sunday.

It's my first one without my wonderful mum. Today my loss is raw and utterly brutal. It's strange how a date on a calendar can dictate grief?

I'll raise a glass to the stars later and I'll tell her how much I love her and how much i miss her and how I'm so proud her blood runs through my veins.

Your post made me cry for the tenth time today@Crunchymum 💔 truth is we aren't any sadder than we were yesterday or will be tomorrow bht days like today it gets rammed down our necks that our mums are dead. social media and advertising running upto the date for months. Can't run away from it. I miss her with every ounce of me

Struggling a bit with Mothers Day - 2nd without Mum but then Dad died this morning, he has been ill for a while waiting heart surgery but they just were too slow. It might not have given him much longer but it could of we will never know. My head feels logical but eyes are leaking and my head hurts. We also lost MIL last October so all in all not the best 18mths

So sorry to hear that @RB68 have you got good support ? I just can't imagine losing both parents especially in such short space of time

Sorry for your loss @RB68

Sounds like you have really been through it with so many losses in such a short amount of time. I hope you have support and are able to get through these dark, early days following the loss of your dad.

Take care, do the basics (rest / fluid / cuddle any kids or pets or people) and just keep going.

Thank you all. I am one of 6 so its like herding cats re sorting things. He was literally mid house move with a half empty van so its at least all packed up! So am off there now to sort basics and empty flat so we can hand back asap. Bit of a shocker for the local residents with two crew and the helicopter on the day he moved in. Hard for my sisters to see all that though. I am taking the view we cared for him between us, so we self isolated pretty much permanently so we could do care. I am also vaccinated so you have to do what you have to do. Bit washed out today to be honest. Family whatsap is a a bed of tears and memories but given we can't do proper wake probably good. Need to figure out what we are allowed to do and travel/accom etc.

My dad died at the end of February, is it normal to constantly have butterflies in the stomach? I'm glad I've found this thread I feel desperately sad

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, @RB68 and @Cloudesley. Sending all my good wishes for these hard early days. It's a blur, frankly, but you will get through them, however impossible it feels now. Yes to the butterflies, though. I still have them, 5 months on.

Sorry I didn't make it onto the thread on Sunday but I was subconsciously avoiding Mothers Day, I think. Ironically enough I was actually at mum's house for the first time in months for essential estate business. It's still all so strange. It feels weirdly better there than it does at my own house, I feel closer to her there.

Sorting through a few things, I found a little notepad with her writing on it, and it was a list of silly Christmas cracker jokes she'd copied down from somewhere. I remembered then that on the last Christmas we all spent together, she unexpectedly came out with all these cheesy quips that made us laugh. That was so typical of her, she was fundamentally a happy person who loved to joke. It made me so sad yet brought her presence so vividly back to me ❤️

Thank you, it's so helpful reading through the thread.

Butterflies in stomach weren't so bad yesterday and hopefully today. The other day I felt terribly sad, it's a matter of seeing how I feel each day. I know it will get better but I always knew it was going to be bad.

Sending supportive thoughts to everyone 💐

Grief can definitely have physical symptoms @Cloudesley, especially in those first few weeks. I'm sorry for your loss

@NorthernChinchilla I'm sorry, I missed your post upthread. How are things? I hope you're getting some RL support from your DH, and that Sunday wasn't too upsetting . Please come back and post whenever you need to

Thanks @Brillig we're doing OK. Just about everything sorted with the solicitor and funeral, wrote eulogy and approved details of service yesterday. We bury her Monday.
My DH has been wonderful, but having to organise a funeral at the other end the country in a pandemic has been quite the challenge.

I sobbed my heart out on Sunday, but the grief is not too bad as she effectively stopped being 'Mum' last May.

@RB68 that sounds incredibly hard, you sometimes feel there's some great cosmic joke re. timings. We can't have a wake either, obviously, so I've bought every attendee a bottle of champagne so they can raise a toast to her when home

I am regularly catching my breath and having a weep. We knew it was coming but that honestly changes nothing. We have had some lovely lovely messages from cousins and other rellies but also all the lads he coached for Rugby over many many years and their parents including one who played for Wales eventually. Definitely a side I didn't always see as it was once I was a bit older and moved out (being the eldest). We have finally sorted out the death certificate and well on our way to confirming funeral date and we should all be able to make it including the brother in Europe. We are keeping funds back to have a big family holiday over the summer or possibly near Christmas in place of a wake.

I think he knew it was coming - he had simplified finances and had around 10K in the bank ready for the funeral! He had texted his friends on Sat eve (died Sun) saying goodbye (ostensibly as he was moving) and had chatted or seen us all in the last month or so. His only regret would have been not being able to see the grandkids.

House stuff is just delayed till probate sorted and I have one more account to identify and can send off, collecting signed will and dc today. So all in all very painless and a good reminder to us all to keep records well, keep it clean and tidy and don't have bitty things hanging around and keep you Will up to date with a copy at home with signed version with solicitor etc.

His last service to us was being sorted out.

Love to everyone that needs it, tea to everyone and if allowed plenty of cake. Look at the pictures, cry some and then some more and let it flow. But above all remember you were loved and loved and actually still are.

@RB68

I totally agree about love.

Love doesn't die. It never, ever can die. The love between my mother and I is woven into my existence. And that love is part of my children's tapestry and my siblings lives and their children's lives.

I know not everyone is lucky enough to have a big family and close relatives (or even a wonderful relationship with a parent) but it brings me great comfort to know there is a bridge between my mum who isn't here and those of us left behind. We all belong to that same love. We all experienced it and we all pass it on and continue to feel it. We love, we are loved.

@Crunchymum thank you for your post, I'm finding it very helpful. Actually it's quite beautiful 💐

I'm so glad I've found this thread. I find all your comments sad but lovely. 💐