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Dad died 2 weeks ago, mum died today

105 replies

lynsey91 · 29/01/2021 17:21

My dad died 2 weeks ago. Thankfully he died at home with mum, me and one of my sisters with him.

He had dementia and my mum and sister fought like crazy for him not to go into a care home. For the last few months he did have carers going in a few times a day but my mum did the majority of looking after him for the last 3 years or so. He could not even feed himself and had been bed bound for about 5 months

He came out of hospital on the Wednesday with a negative covid test and died on the Saturday. We now know he did have covid.

On the Monday mum became ill with a chesty cough and hoarse voice. We honestly thought she had a chest infection partly because we didn't know they could be covid symptoms and also because we all thought dad did not have it. We spoke to her doctor and he said she should get a covid test. We took her that day and next day the result came back positive

Me and DH stayed with her to look after her. She grew worse and was not eating and barely drinking so we had to call an ambulance. A week after dad had died she was taken into hospital.

No one was allowed to visit and we were all isolating anyway. Wednesday we had a phone call saying they didn't think she had long left and this morning we got the call saying she had died.

I just can't take it in. I was obviously upset about dad but he had not been well for a while and in a lot of ways it was a kind of relief for him and for mum even though she was distraught.

Mum has hit me so much more. No one was with her and I can't believe I will never see her again. I thought she would have a few years left at least and would no longer have the hard job of looking after dad.

My last memory of mum is speaking to her in the back of an ambulance telling her she would be ok and home soon. She looked so tiny and scared.

Neither mum or dad had been outside their house since last March apart from dad going into hospital and we had all been so careful. I live a 3 hour drive away and had only seen them twice since March.

Mum was 91 so yes she was a good age but she was fairly healthy and deserved a few more years.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 29/01/2021 17:23

I'm so incredibly and utterly sorry for your loss ThanksThanksThanks

That's one of the saddest stories I've read

ParkheadParadise · 29/01/2021 17:24

That's awful, so sorry for your heartbreaking losses Flowers

HappyFlamingo · 29/01/2021 17:25

I am very sorry, OP. How awful for you to lose your mum so suddenly, and so soon after your dad Flowers

Stormystar · 29/01/2021 17:25

So so sorry for your loss. Absolutely heartbreaking to read this.💐

Dutchesss · 29/01/2021 17:25

I'm so sorry for your losses. I understand what you mean with the dementia, it's like you've lost them already and the death does not hit as hard as you would expect.

bearlyactive · 29/01/2021 17:25

I'm so sorry OP, your mum was an incredible and strong woman to have cared for your dad for so long, I'm sorry you didn't get to spend much time with her Flowers

TreacleHart · 29/01/2021 17:25

So sorry lindsey91.
This virus has robbed so many people of family.Flowers

DarcyJack · 29/01/2021 17:26

I'm so sorry to hear this x

Fembot123 · 29/01/2021 17:27

What an awful time for you OP, so sorry for your losses Flowers

Izzy24 · 29/01/2021 17:28

@lynsey91

I’m so very very sad and sorry for your loss. The manner of dying in the time of Covid is so devastatingly painful. Thinking of you all Flowers

Pippa234 · 29/01/2021 17:28

So sorry OPFlowers

Radishesandcake · 29/01/2021 17:28

I'm so sorry for your loss what an awful shock. Take care of yourself and rest as much as you can, it's a lot for you to try and deal with all at once xx Flowers

kindlekeeper · 29/01/2021 17:29

How horribly shocking for you. My heart goes out to you.

Suzi888 · 29/01/2021 17:30

I’m so sorry Flowers

We lost a family friend in her late nineties to covid, she was unaware of her surroundings and went very peacefully.

KellyMarieTunstall2 · 29/01/2021 17:31

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your post has brought tears to my eyes. Take care xxFlowers

Parkandride · 29/01/2021 17:31

I'm so sorry, what a horrible shock to have two losses. Your love for your parents, and that they had for each other, shines through Flowers

FadedRed · 29/01/2021 17:32

That’s so sad for you all, my deepest condolences. 💐
So much sadness this past (nearly) twelve months.

KarenMarlow3 · 29/01/2021 17:32

I can't believe how awful this must have been for you. What a devastating blow to lose them both do quickly. I am so sorry. Flowers

Theforest · 29/01/2021 17:33

So sorry to hear about what happened to your parents.

Greeneyesbiglashes · 29/01/2021 17:33

I am extremely sorry for your losses. I am sending you all the love and praying for you and your family during this difficult time.

Xx

Hailtomyteeth · 29/01/2021 17:34

I am very sorry Flowers

hedgehogger1 · 29/01/2021 17:34

So sorry for your loss. Such horrible circumstances xxx

truthlemon · 29/01/2021 17:35

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are bound to be in shock especially as your mum had been in good health. And it's all made so much worse by the restrictions. You'll get through this - one breath at a time, one day at a time. I'm so sorry Flowers

TokyoSushi · 29/01/2021 17:35

Oh OP I'm so very sorry Flowers

LIZS · 29/01/2021 17:36

So sorry for your losses Thanks