Toddler in hospital. Need a handhold.

[sobsanta]

DD is 2 and has been ill for about four days with what we presumed to be a heavy cold. She hasn't slept much and today took a turn for the worse where we had to call an ambulance due to her breathing being laboured while sleeping and sucking in under the ribs with every breath. Paramedics think some kind of upper respiratory infection as her chest appears clear. Epiglottitis was mentioned or possibly severe tonsillitis but they didn't want to check her mouth at home in case it panicked her.

DH went to the hospital with her as he's calm and collected and only one parent is allowed due to coronavirus restrictions. She's a daddy's girl anyway so she'll feel safe with him but I'm kicking myself that I can't be with them both. Haven't heard anything yet and they've been gone about an hour.

Am terrified and need distraction as I know there's nothing I can do and she's with the best people.

Message from MNHQ: Please note, very sad update further down the thread

She is so beautiful. I'm so very sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for your loss, no one should have to go through this. I wish you love and strength to get through this incredibly hard time. Your family are in my thoughts and prayers x

Sending love and prayers to you and your family
The shock must be overwhelming and grief so difficult.
What a beautiful, adorable little girl who was clearly so loved xx ❤ so sorry for your loss xx

You definitely need to take your time in donating any of Wyatt Rose's things. Don't act too quickly while you're in this intense stage of grief as you may come to regret it later. If it feels right to move everything into her room and close the door then go with that. It may take you weeks, months or even years to have the courage to sort through things but that's absolutely fine - do everything at your own pace.

I hope you're managing to get some sleep and eat through all of this. As hard as it is, you need to look after yourself. The world is supporting you right now and you will survive through this horrendous time.

Definitely sort things at your own pace. Put them in her room and close the door. You might like to have time in there just to feel close to her.
Your other children might like to keep things for their memory boxes too. There is no rush.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's one of the most horrific things I've read.

Rest in peace Wyatt, beautiful girl

OP, sending love and light to you, a candle will be lit in my house for your family tonight x x

@sobsanta I am so very sorry for you loss! Reading that update is heart breaking! I seen the article in the paper this morning, donated for your little girl!
There are no words to express how you must be feeling!
Sending all the love in the world, do things at your own pace don't rush xx

So terribly sorry for your loss xx

You are all in my prayers I am so sorry this has happened. Sending so much love to your family xxxx

I've just seen you update and I'm so incredibly sorry to hear about your beautiful daughter. My thoughts are with you and your family. My heart aches for you. X

I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a beautiful girl.

Please take your time, there is no rush to make any decisions that you may regret in time.

I lost my eldest son 6 and a half years ago. Although in time I donated lots of his things I have also kept loads of things that are just 'him'. They bring a sort of comfort to me as they are physical manifestations that he was here, belonged to our family. He was 18 so didn't have many toys but had a whole heap of teenage stuff.

Your numbness is normal in such desperate times. You will alternate between numbness, pain, anger, grief. Sometimes seperately, sometimes all at the same time.

There is no right or wrong grief timeline or path. Do what feels right for you but try not to rush decisions.

Go gently. There are others here who have lost a child and we stand with you, we hear your pain. We're here to help if we can. Xx

DH braced me for it before I came downstairs but he moved everything this morning when he couldn't sleep. The space feels so empty. It's small pockets of space like where her pushchair was at the bottom of the stairs and either side of the tv where her bigger toys lived but they're safe in her room until we can cope with it. I feel terrible for him as he did it alone. I never wanted that for him but I think he had to. He couldn't do it together.

you and DH may grieve differently, in different ways and at different rates. That is ok, he needed to move all her things as his way of coping but you don’t have to need the same thing as him. Putting the things away will help him but means you can still have them if you need to. Avoid making any rash decisions that cannot be undone later if you change your mind as grief can make people do things they regret later on. How are your DDs doing? Xx

Thinking of you. This is just awful ☹️

Please try to remember hot drinks, if nothing else. We are all here to listen

So so sorry to read of your loss, she's truly beautiful and so many of us here will remember her having touched our hearts.

Nothing to say, just that I am thinking of you, your family and your wee girl. People describe grief as hard, physical work - I hope you have time and support to allow you to rest as best you can.

I'm so, so, sad for you. Words are meaningless in times like these but I'm thinking of you and your family and have been since you originally posted.
I also have a 2 year old and can't begin to understand your pain and devastation.
We're here to listen 💕

Thinking of you OP, your DH, all your DDs: sending love ❤️❤️❤️.

You are bound to grieve in different ways as you are different people and had a different relationship with Wyatt to each other. Both ways are right, fine and necessary.

I got rid of something's after two types of loss and think I did it too soon. You will know when it is right.

Maybe buy a beautiful indoor rose plant to sit where her toys would have been.

Maybe buy a beautiful indoor rose plant to sit where her toys would have been

That's a lovely idea

I’m so so sorry to hear this, it upsets me so much to think of what you’re going through. I don’t know how you ever come to terms with something like this but I really hope it’s true that time is a healer. You’re all in my thoughts ❤️

That's a beautiful idea regarding the rose plant. We've decided on getting an outdoor rose bush in the Spring with a plaque and her name on for the garden so we can tend to and nurture that but now I'm going to look into indoor rose plants. Does anyone know any reputable websites to buy from?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you OP for sharing the article and also for sharing the photos of your beautiful Wyatt Rose.

I found this photo from when she was little. Even as a toddler they were best friends. He's utterly lost without her (we all are). I wish I could communicate with him.