My husband has died

[peachgreen]

He died today. He was 42. He had recently been diagnosed with a heart condition and spent a month in hospital but we believed he was going to be okay. He went upstairs for a rest and they think he had a heart attack. He didn't cry out, they think it would have been fairly instant. I found him when I went to check on him a few hours later and I knew he had gone, I did CPR but I knew it was too late.

He was my soul mate, my other half, the true love of my life. We have a little girl who is almost 3. If it wasn't for her I would kill myself. I can't imagine life ever having any meaning without him.

Thinking of you this evening too, Peach x

Thinking of you too Peach. Hope today went as well as it possibly could

Thinking of you Peach x

I'm so desperate to just feel better

In the kindest way, you can’t rush grief & slow down, but try instead of being desperate to feel better - think about accepting that you will feel like this for a while but
Gradually this will change, it will be not better but different

The only way I can explain it is that I feel I must go through this but allow myself the though it will be different in the future, so hold on for now

I've also been thinking of you today. I hope the day passed as gently as it could and that you and your little girl were surrounded by love.
You've been through so much in such a short time. Be kind to yourself. Lean on those who love you and don't expect too much of yourself too soon

I've been thinking about you and Lyla. I imagine that you're mentally exhausted. I hope you're managing to get some rest.

I have no words really other than to say that there are so many people holding you close in their thoughts and prayers. Just take one hour at a time. X

I'm so sorry OP. 42 is way too young💐💐

Still thinking of you lovely.

Thinking of you also

Just letting you know that I held you and Lyla in my thoughts yesterday for the most difficult of days and continue to do so. 💐💐

Thank you all. Yesterday was so hard but I managed to get through the tribute I wrote for him. And it brought me some comfort. Today is awful. I feel completely empty. I just can't believe I can ever be happy again.

@Marmunia1975 @Teawaster it would be so lovely to hear from you if you're comfortable with that. I want to stay in NI long term if I can but it will be hard as I don't have as much of a support network. So hearing from others from here, especially who have been in this position, would help so much.

@Letsnotargue what a small world. I'm so happy to know that. He really was so loved by so many people. I wish he'd realised it when he was alive but I'm glad he knows now.

Peach the fact that you managed to get through your tribute to him, when it must have been almost impossible to do, says so much about how strong you are.

We have nothing but respect for you Peach. Remember one minute at a time, then one hour, then one day. You can do this. Get all the support you can, and I am glad you are reaching out to others that know what it's like.

You are so brave my dear, Mike is with you and is so proud.

Well done for getting through it.

The time after, the one you're going through now, is indeed one of the toughest times - because you've nothing to plan, no point to look towards, and sometimes people and help drop off at this stage.

Other people move on with their lives whereas you're still in the hell that you are in - but this is all absolutely normal. Incomprehensible to you and your ILs, but normal.

This is the time when you find out who your true friends are - the ones who are still there, who still call to check on you, who still bring you help, food, comfort, whatever. They might not even be the people you thought they would be - but still take it all, all the help.

Well done on getting through the eulogy/tribute - I don't think i could, in your place. Strong woman you are! and (((((hugs)))))

Sending you virtual hugs Peach. You've been so brave. I bet you did Mike proud, and if you spoke about him the way you write about him here, I'm sure the eulogy was absolutely beautiful

I am so very sorry.

You did Mike proud Peach, he was looking down on you and saying "that's my girl"
So much respect for you and you're your daughters inspiration

Thinking of you and your little girl.

You did wonderfully to do the eulogy Peaches. I could barely speak at my parents' funerals and they were both elderly and had been ill for quite a long time so I had had time to come to terms with things. I can't imagine how much more difficult it must have been for you. You are very, very brave and I am certain Mike would be incredibly proud of you.

Just seen this thread & I am so very sorry for your loss OP 💐💐💐

You have done so well, getting through yesterday must have been so hard. Take each day as it comes, at the moment it's getting through the next few minutes and hours. Don't think too far ahead. Much love to you and your little girl.

Try not to think too far ahead. One day at a time. Sending you love and strength x

I'm so very sorry for your loss.