My husband has died

[peachgreen]

He died today. He was 42. He had recently been diagnosed with a heart condition and spent a month in hospital but we believed he was going to be okay. He went upstairs for a rest and they think he had a heart attack. He didn't cry out, they think it would have been fairly instant. I found him when I went to check on him a few hours later and I knew he had gone, I did CPR but I knew it was too late.

He was my soul mate, my other half, the true love of my life. We have a little girl who is almost 3. If it wasn't for her I would kill myself. I can't imagine life ever having any meaning without him.

@peachgreen I haven't stopped thinking of you and will definitely be praying for you tomorrow. You will, and have, and did, make him proud. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it possibly can. Xx

Me too Peach. You've got a family of women with you in spirit.

I'll be thinking of you too, and you are in my prayers xx

Much love and strength for tomorrow Peach - you are doing so well. XX

Thinking of you Peach x all my prayers and thoughts for you and your family tomorrow xx

I can only repeat what's already been said. Lots of virtual hugs coming your way for tomorrow and the days that follow xx

I will be thinking about you. Is Lyla going with you?

No, Lyla and her best friend are being looked after by some good friends of SIL, and then she'll be staying with Mike's best friends who live close by, she knows them very well. I thought it was better that she didn't see us all dressed in black and sad etc. She's too little to get any closure or anything, I think.

I'm struggling a lot tonight. I don't understand how this can be the rest of my life. The loss of him, missing him, longing for him.

When we held hands we looped our little fingers together. It just felt natural. It's crushing me to know I'll never hold anyone's hand like that again.

Writing his eulogy brought me back to our early days. We lived in London and we would walk for hours just talking and talking. I was always so proud to be on his arm because his love for me just shone out for everyone to see. I'm very average looking, overweight and a bit frumpy. He was so incredibly handsome and so charming, everybody loved him instantly. And something about his glow reflected off onto me. We loved socialising together. And then we loved coming home and retreating into our blissful bubble of love. In London we had this very low bed which sat under a big sash window. The whole room was white. At night we'd open the window and just let the cold night air flow in. We loved to be cold at night - our duvet is only 2.5 tog and we loved it. He couldn't believe he'd found someone who liked being cold at night the same as he did.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness. I'm missing him so much tonight. Him and his lovely ways.

The strength of your feeling now isn't how you will feel for the rest of your life. I know that's hard to believe right now but you will be happy again.

Nobody minds reading your messages- just keep them coming.

Peach, you write with so much love. Your relationship sounds so idyllic and beautiful.

Oh peach, you paint a beautiful picture. You looked beautiful in the pictures you posted, as did Mike. I’m sure he felt the same glow coming off you into him as you think reflected off him into you.

You’ve made the right decision for Lyla. I will be sending you love and prayers tomorrow, for strength, for a celebration of his life, for your sorrow to be bearable as you do what must be done. You’ve written a beautiful eulogy, I’m sure. And if you cannot read it someone will say your words to him on your behalf. May he rest in peace and rise in glory.

Oh @peachgreen I love hearing about your relationship. A true fairy tale, the memories of which you will treasure forever. Xx

❤️❤️❤️

Some people never get to meet their soul mate, what a lucky girl your daughter is to have all these lovely stories of her parent's love for each other...start writing them down for her in a beautiful book with photographs.

Oh peachgreen my heart breaks for you, it is so unfair and desperately sad.
I love the photos you posted; your lovely husband looks so friendly and your happiness together is easy to see.

Many, many people never share what you two had. Wishing you strength for tomorrow. ❤️

I'm so very sorry for your loss, sending love and strength xxxxx

God I’m crying again reading your latest post. I’m so bloody angry on your behalf. Livid. Life just isn’t fair.

You’ll be in my thoughts tomorrow Peach. Your MN supper group will all be there with you in spirit. X

Support*

@peachgreen

I'm struggling a lot tonight. I don't understand how this can be the rest of my life. The loss of him, missing him, longing for him.

When we held hands we looped our little fingers together. It just felt natural. It's crushing me to know I'll never hold anyone's hand like that again.

Writing his eulogy brought me back to our early days. We lived in London and we would walk for hours just talking and talking. I was always so proud to be on his arm because his love for me just shone out for everyone to see. I'm very average looking, overweight and a bit frumpy. He was so incredibly handsome and so charming, everybody loved him instantly. And something about his glow reflected off onto me. We loved socialising together. And then we loved coming home and retreating into our blissful bubble of love. In London we had this very low bed which sat under a big sash window. The whole room was white. At night we'd open the window and just let the cold night air flow in. We loved to be cold at night - our duvet is only 2.5 tog and we loved it. He couldn't believe he'd found someone who liked being cold at night the same as he did.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness. I'm missing him so much tonight. Him and his lovely ways.

Just looked at your pictures and you are BEAUTIFUL! Those dimples! You were worthy of him, and he was worthy of you. A beautifully matched couple. Thinking of you darling xx

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Hello @peachgreen

I'll be thinking of you and Mike tomorrow.

All of our family send their love to you. Picture us giving you a big family hug xxx

@HappyDogHappyMe

I am so so sorry for your loss, I know that from your last thread that Mike was treated in the Ulster, I'm in Newtownards so I might be close by, if I can do anything to help out please let me know.

HappyDog that is so kind of you.

You are in my thoughts and prayers Peach xx

Thinking of you peach. You write so beautifully about your lovely husband. I’m so sorry xxx