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Original poster

Husband died today

132 replies

looklauren · 02/05/2020 01:38

How do I go on? I am so scared, I depended on him for so much and we have 5 children. I have so many feelings of guilt. I was so cross with him for being a workaholic and never being with us. He had a heart attack... He was 33..

OP posts:
Sparkles333 · 03/05/2020 12:58

How are you today @looklauren Flowers

GuyFawkesDay · 03/05/2020 13:02

Sending lots of love to you OP.

You will get through this. One hour, one day at a time.

One foot in front of another, slowly.

Definitely contact support organisations so you can talk to people, and get the same for your kids xx

Igmum · 03/05/2020 13:14

So sorry for your loss 💐💐

ladyhummingbee · 03/05/2020 14:19

I'm so sorry Thanks. I think I might have been on your thread a week ago, this outcome is so horrible.

bigchris · 03/05/2020 15:31

So sorry Flowers
I hope you managed to get a bit of sleep xx

Vgtasd · 03/05/2020 15:32

I'm so so sorry xxx

CherryStoneTree · 03/05/2020 15:36

I’m so very very sorry lovely Flowers

notapizzaeater · 04/05/2020 16:43

I'm so very sorry for you x

EmbarrassedUser · 04/05/2020 16:54

So sorry @looklauren This must be a dreadful time for you and your family. Be kind to yourself 💖

Original poster
looklauren · 04/05/2020 22:20

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your messages. You got me through the darkest night I’ve ever experienced. Really appreciate everyone who shared their own experiences too 💗

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply - I’m absolutely exhausted from lack of sleep and the no end of visitors and calls (for which I’m really grateful for) and of course the children 😔

All the advice has been gratefully noted; especially about screening the children. A couple of people IRL have mentioned that it most likely was a congenital heart defect. So sad..

OP posts:
Scbchl · 04/05/2020 22:29

I'm so sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your children. Try just take things one day, even one hour at a time if need be.

Original poster
looklauren · 04/05/2020 22:31

My faith is the only thing that makes it bearable and makes some sense of it all. I was able to eat today.

Yesterday the children started showing signs of grief; not eating and tummy pains. Today there were tears. I know it’s a good thing but I feel terrible for them. They’ve been robbed..

OP posts:
Cheeeeesecaaaaakkkeeee · 04/05/2020 22:31

Hi looklauren,
I’m so so so sorry for loss. I went through a similar thing last year. It’s too young and just so unfair. I’m sorry it’s also happened at such a time you can’t see people with the virus and things. My heart is with you. It’s so awful to lose the father of your children. I’m so so sorry xxxxx

Widowodiw · 04/05/2020 22:32

@looklauren my husband died at the age of 38 coming up two years ago . You will
Be able to go on. Although the thought of having your children will be daunting at the moment those children will be a massive support to you (without them knowing) and they will enable you in the early days to get from one day to another.

The pain is I know unbearable but look at it another way. That pain shows you how much love you and your husband had. I like to think of this pain as a different type of love- eternal love. In time that pain will start to get warmer. But for now it’s a journey, don’t resist that journey - cry, be angry, laugh at the memories.

Please message me if you need to.

Original poster
looklauren · 04/05/2020 22:32

@ladyhummingbee yes, that was my thread 😭 Such a waste.

OP posts:
NotKeenOnSwede · 04/05/2020 22:36

I'm so sorry x

ladyhummingbee · 04/05/2020 23:43

Oh @looklauren a cyber hug is all I can offer 👐. I really wish the best for you and your family, take care Thanks.

Original poster
looklauren · 05/05/2020 02:49

I can’t decide whether to keep his wedding ring or leave him with it.

OP posts:
Thepigeonsarecoming · 05/05/2020 03:42

I would say keep it and wear it on a chain

JacobReesMogadishu · 05/05/2020 06:49

I think I would keep the ring and like a previous poster suggested you could wear it on a chain.

Herpesfreesince03 · 05/05/2020 06:52

Keep the ring op

SunshineCake · 05/05/2020 07:04

Keep the ring as it will be a comfort for you and a lovely item for your children to have. They can hold it when they want to feel close to DaddySad.

I'm so sorry. Flowers.

Xenia · 05/05/2020 08:19

Yes, keep the ring. Just take each day as it comes and try not to do too much eg if you are getting constant phone calls you could just record a voicemail saying you need a bit of peace to think and get on with things and anything urgent to text you for example unless the calls are helpful. Try to accept people who are helping and exclude those who just want to sit around and cry. People who can feed the children, clean the house are useful to have around but not everyone. If someone in the family like his parents are good with paperwork it may be sensible they do anything urgent or just leave it -0 don't feel rushed. I know a lot of people don't do it these days but putting a death notice in the local paper is comforting to some.

Widowodiw · 05/05/2020 09:22

I kept my husbands ring as when he was alive we always told our son that one day that ring would be his. I took it off my husband the day he died and put it on my finger alongside my wedding rings- I haven’t taken it off in the two years since.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/05/2020 17:41

Another vote for keeping the ring.

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