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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My baby girl died aged 19 hours

284 replies

itmsylifeitsnowornever · 08/02/2020 18:46

My beautiful baby girl was born at 35 weeks. She died aged 19 hours. I don't know how we get through this.

OP posts:
BrendasUmbrella · 08/02/2020 20:49

I'm so sorry Flowers

Juancornetto · 08/02/2020 20:49

I'm so sorry 💔 Eleanor is a beautiful name xx

NewMommy20 · 08/02/2020 20:50

I am so sorry, I cannot imagine the pain Flowers

clareykb · 08/02/2020 20:50

I'm so sorry to hear this. My twins died at a week old after being born at 24w. They would be 7 now. It is hard and will be a long journey reassure you I am happy again and you can be too it took time and I'm not the person I was before but I am still here! We had great support from the charity Sands who I know volunteer for, might be worth seeing if u have a local group. I also had counseling from the hospital x

dizzycatdance2 · 08/02/2020 20:54

So very , very sorry for the loss of you beautiful, beautiful Eleanor

JayWayney · 08/02/2020 20:54

So very very very sorry to hear your little girl didn't make it. My first child died at three days. Worst pain in the world. 20 odd years ago. You will survive and eventually you will find happiness again but the healing is hard.

You will probably find a local support group here, if you're ready. It's worth looking to see what else they offer. www.sands.org.uk/?gclid=CjwKCAiA1fnxBRBBEiwAVUouUqTmt96Nug_EcxrpgGnJOQdUOIFv92x17IcgDP36eabCTuoZjWp1MBoCacMQAvD_BwE

Thaimoon · 08/02/2020 20:55

I’m so very sorry for your loss Flowers

formerbabe · 08/02/2020 20:58

I am so sorry Flowers

Kateplaysrugbyinmydreams · 08/02/2020 20:59

Lovely name. I'm very sorry.

Thinkingabout1t · 08/02/2020 21:00

Sending you love and concern, OP, and wishing I could do more. You are surrounded by people who long for your pain to ease. I hope you can feel all the love and caring around you. xx

Artus · 08/02/2020 21:00

Someone I know has found some comfort from this charity after suffering such a sad loss. achingarms.co.uk/

Commonwasher · 08/02/2020 21:06

I’m so sorry OP. My heart goes out to you xx
You are always, always Eleanor’s Mummy — people die but the love doesn’t.

Sending love, strength and prayers for your family xx

kissmewherethesundontshine · 08/02/2020 21:07

Thanks so so sorry xxx

cakeandchampagne · 08/02/2020 21:08

I am so sorry about Eleanor.
You had such a short time with your daughter.
Flowers

acquiescence · 08/02/2020 21:08

I’m so sorry for your loss of your precious Eleanor.

My little boy died recently aged 20 months. The experience has been unbearable, but we are living through it. No advice or suggestions will really help you at this time. I would say let people help, talk about her as much as you can, she was there, you are still her mum and always will be. Don’t rush making arrangements, you will feel like you can’t do this but you will. Cry, scream, walk. Sleeping tablets helped me for a while, the days and nights were all far too long.

There may be a bereavement counsellor or nurse from the Hosptial who can support you on an ongoing basis. Social media support has helped me, instagram has a strong baby loss community. The lullaby trust are wonderful and I speak to a befriender through them on the phone, not regularly, but it helps.

Sending you love. X

mathanxiety · 08/02/2020 21:08

I cannot imagine your pain on the loss of your sweet Eleanor.

I will be thinking of you and praying for you.

Flowers
RumpoleoftheBaileys · 08/02/2020 21:08

Oh darling. I am so so sorry. You poor thing. In time this will get easier, but for now, don’t feel you have to do anything other than what you need to. Sending love x

Instatwat · 08/02/2020 21:09

I’m so sorry. I lost a baby in different circumstances; I have found great comfort in the baby loss community on Instagram (I know it sounds really weird, but there are some amazing accounts out there which have given me coping strategies, made me feel less alone and allowed me to share my daughter with people who understand). You won’t be there yet, of course, but if you do want to find some helpful accounts then feel free to PM me and I can give you the names.

I’m just so sorry. Shine on little Eleanor, you will always be remembered.

rainbowruthie · 08/02/2020 21:10

I'm so sorry Flowers

AnneShirleysNewDress · 08/02/2020 21:10

I'm so, so sorry. For you, your family and your beautiful girl Thanks

CloudyVanilla · 08/02/2020 21:11

Oh my dear, I am so, so, terribly sorry this has happened to your family.

You will always, always be a strong mother to a beautiful girl. Nothing will change that, even this. Flowers

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 08/02/2020 21:15

Holding you and Eleanor in the light, @itmsylifeitsnowornever. Flowers So sorry for your loss.

Curlyshabtree · 08/02/2020 21:16

So very sorry. You won’t ever forget but you will get through it. It’s almost 13 years since I lost ds1 aged 6 days. The pain will be very raw. Hope you have lots of support xxx

Igmum · 08/02/2020 21:17

So sorry and sending love to all of you 💐💐

AMANursery · 08/02/2020 21:25

Can’t stop thinking of you and lovely Eleanor Flowers